Lost in the pain
by gothina234
Summary: Reid has been missing for over a year. The team find him but the man that has abused Reid for a year remains at large. As Reid recovers, the team discover the true horrors that he has gone through. They have to keep him safe. They just got him back, they are not letting him go without a fight.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, here is the new story for you all. I hope you all enjoy this fanfic. As always, this has my brand of Reid whump and its rated M for a reason as it features mentions of rape and a few flashbacks. Nothing graphic though. Just warning you all now. Enjoy and I would love to know what you all think.  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid stared at the ceiling of the trunk he'd been dragged into. He had walked into his apartment and the next moment he found himself pinned to the bed with a hand over his mouth. He wanted to get out the trunk. He didn't see the man who had taken him. He closed his eyes as he felt the car stop. He couldn't help the small moan that hit the tape over his mouth. He prayed that his team would find him soon. He didn't know what was going to happen.

_Please, find me. You always find me. Please, do it now._

* * *

Morgan sat at his desk, he stared at the files in front of him and tried not to let his mind wander. He wondered where Reid was now. Six months had gone by.

Six months since he had walked into Reid's apartment to find it trashed and his best friend gone. Every lead had failed to bring them anything. They would never gave up. Garcia lit a candle every day for him, it helped her feel close to finding him again. JJ hated how Henry would ask to see a godfather that had disappeared. Hotch felt responsible and Rossi tried to keep everyone's spirit up even though they all knew he felt despondent over the lost of the young man. Blake helped with Reid's mother, it helped her cope. Morgan drove around a few times in the week after work. He looked for Reid in bars, warehouses and anywhere a body might be dumped. Six months and nothing.

He looked to the picture on his desk, one of Reid and him after the baseball game. "We're going to find you, kid. We'll bring you home too."

* * *

**Six months later**

Morgan made his way down the stairs with his gun ready. It was dark and he knew he had to stay aware of his surroundings. He heard the sound of someone whimpering. He brought his flashlight to the sound of the whimpering. It settled on the form of a young man. It was their missing person, Timothy Farrow. Nineteen years old. Morgan searched around for a light and found the light switch. He hit the switch and turned off his torch. He couldn't see any sign of the unsub. They had identified him as Lincoln Peters.

"Timothy, my name is Derek Morgan. I'm with the FBI. I'm here to help you and take you back to your parents."

"Please, get me out of these," Timothy cried. "I wanna go home."

Morgan pressed his radio. "I need medics and help in the basement. Victim chained, bolt cutters needed."

"Thank you," he sniffed. "I don't where he is. He's done horrible things to us."

"Us?" Morgan quickly questioned.

"I keep hearing someone crying from behind that wood panel. I don't know if he is still there. The guy really hurts him. Please, help us."

"We're going to get you out of here, I promise."

Hotch and Blake came down the stairs, Blake came over to Timothy to comfort him. A few medics followed, one with bolt cutters in his hand. Timothy held out his hands, ready for them to get released from the chains. Morgan made his way to the wooden panel.

"Morgan, what are you doing?" Hotch asked.

"Timothy told me that he hears someone crying behind here and that Lincoln really hurts the guy. I think we have another victim. Help me take down this board."

Hotch and Morgan grabbed the wooden board and began to pull. They gave him a few strong tugs before it came away. Morgan saw a small square sized hole in the wall at the bottom with bars down on it. He saw someone face down, their hands bound with rope above them. He knelt and reached through the bars. He moved the hair out of the person's face. He gasped when he realised who it was. Even through all the blood and bruises, he could see.

"Oh my god. It's Reid."

Hotch reached through the bars and double checked. There he was. Spencer Reid, the man missing for over a year. Morgan tried to reach in enough to remove the gag from Reid's mouth but his arms were too thick.

"Blake, I need you," Morgan called. She rushed over and her eyes widened at the sight of her friend.

"Spencer!" she almost whispered.

"Blake, I need you to reach in and take that gag off him. Your arms are small enough to reach through," Morgan said. She immediately put her arms through and untied the gag from Reid's mouth. She ripped it away and dropped it next to her. It was dirty and horrible. A small moan came from Reid. Hotch watched as Reid's eyes fluttered open. They didn't focus for a few seconds.

"Reid! Reid! It's Hotch, Morgan and Blake. Focus on my voice."

Reid sluggishly looked up to see them. He turned on his stomach and reached out for them. Blake took his hands and held them tight, the rope was too tight for her to untie manually. He began to cry as he looked at them.

"You found m-me," he cried heavily before he shuffled weakly towards them. The hole he was in was barely bigger than his body, it didn't seem to have an end though. "I knew you would. He-Help me."

Morgan felt tears burn his eyes. "We're going to get these bars cut away and then we'll take you away from here. I can't believe it's you. We've missed you so much. Is Lincoln Peters the person that took you?"

Reid held Blake's hands tighter. "I d-don't know his name. Pl-please, I don't want to st-stay here. I wanna go home."

"We're going to take home," Blake cried. "What has he done to you?"

Reid's face crumpled and he began to cry heavier. "Hotch, I wanna go home."

"Get someone here to get these damn bars off," Morgan shouted. Reid let out a whimper and looked at Morgan with fear. "Reid, I'm sorry. It's okay. I won't hurt you."

"He's done things to me," Reid sobbed. "It hurts."

Blake barely had time to grab the ropes around Reid's wrists when the young genius was suddenly pulled back. She hit the bars as she kept hold of him. Fighting to keep him from the person trying to pull him away. Morgan saw a pair of black, gloved hands around Reid's ankles but it was too dark to see a face.

"NO!" Reid screamed. "DON'T LET HIM TAKE ME!"

"Someone is pulling him," Blake grunted as she pulled him back towards her.

"Let him go," Morgan yelled.

Reid looked at Morgan. "I want to go home," he pleaded. "Help me!"

Hotch pulled out his gun. "Reid, stay down."

He pulled the trigger and sent a shot down the hole. They heard someone scramble away. Blake pulled Reid towards her and kept a tight grip on his hands. "I got ya. I'm not letting him get you again."

Hotch turned around and saw someone with a saw coming over.

* * *

As soon as the bars got cut away, they pulled him out of hole. They finally saw the true damage to Reid's body. His clothes were dirty, torn and ripped. His hair was shaggy and had crudely been cut. Dried blood was all over his face and his clothes. Bruises littered his face. He had wet himself but there was blood all down his trousers. A paramedic rushed over with a blanket. Morgan wrapped Reid in the blanket, his body shivering due to the cold in the basement.

"We'll get a board down here and treat him in the ambulance."

"I'll carry him up," Morgan quickly said. "I want him out of this basement now."

Reid shook in his arms and looked around for anything that could hurt him.

"Kid, I'm going to carry you out of here and to the ambulance. Is that okay?"

"Don't make me stay here," Reid said fearfully as he leaned against Morgan. "He'll come for me when it's dark and he'll hurt me. I don't want to go through it again."

Morgan swept Reid into his arms and carried his thin and frail body out of the house and towards the ambulance. He saw Rossi coming towards them.

"Oh my god. Is that-" Rossi said in shock.

"It is," Morgan nodded and he climbed into the ambulance and tried to put Reid on the bed. A small hand clenched around his shirt and refused to let go. He looked down to see Reid looking at him with tearful eyes. "What is it, Reid?"

"I-I haven't seen you in a year," he said quietly. "I don't want him to get me again. Don't leave me. I don't want to be alone with strangers."

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm going to stay here with you. The paramedics just need to look you over. Kid, what happened?"

Reid's face crumpled into tears again. "He-He-he-" Reid tried to say but bit his lip so hard it began to bleed.

"Don't do that. You're bleeding."

"I've bled a lot of over the last year. Too much. I want to go home."

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I am so happy. I can't believe the response this got. You have no idea how big my smile has been today. Thank you so much for the great response and I hope I don't disappoint you. Yes, I am updating this daily. I know how you all love a quick update and the only time I break that promise of a daily update is if I'm ill. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I would love to know what you think.  
**

**THANK YOU! Again, thank you for the amazing reviews. You've really cheered me up.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan stayed with Reid as they performed a rape exam. Reid scrunched up his face as the doctor opened the speculum, he tightened his grip on Morgan's hand. All the way to the hospital, he had never let go of Morgan. The paramedics placed an IV in his hand but he didn't let them do anything else. The examination continued, a loud sob echoing from the room as the speculum got removed. The doctor removed his legs from the stirrups. Reid scrambled to put the blanket over his legs. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed and put his arms around Reid. He felt him shake and cry against his chest.

"I'm sorry," Morgan whispered.

"For what?" Reid sniffed as he came away from the hug.

"We didn't find you for a whole year and this happened to you. I already know the answer to the exam. I'm so sorry. When did he start?"

Reid closed his eyes and took deep, slow breaths. "He, um, he started a few days after he took me. For the first few days, he kept me in that hole. It was so dark and he only came down to give me water. I wasn't allowed any food. He dragged me out of there and took me to his bedroom. I was too weak to fight back properly and he raped me. He's been using me for the past year."

"Oh, kid," Morgan said sadly.

"I n-never gave up hope," Reid said before taking in a hitched breath. "I told myself not to break. I've seen m-my mind as a curse sometimes but it saved m-me."

"What are you talking about?"

"When he would hurt me or rape me, I would go into my mind. I remembered the team. I went back to happy times in m-my life to escape. It didn't always work but i-it worked enough. You all kept me sane and helped me with the pain," Reid whispered before he grabbed Morgan's hand tightly. "You can't let him get me. I can't g-go back there. I'd r-rather die. He is a monster, he doesn't have any mercy."

Morgan held Reid's hand firmly. "He won't get you. He'll have to get me through me to get you and I won't let him get to you. I'll kill him. We didn't catch him back at the house. Kid, we all saw the basement and we found draws full of tools."

"I don't want to talk about the tools!" Reid snapped quickly, his eyes wide and darting around the room.

"Okay. We don't have to talk about the tools. Don't worry, kid. We'll get him and we'll make him pay."

"Thank you," Reid said, his chin wobbling.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"For calling me Kid. You have no idea how much I've missed you calling me that."

* * *

Hotch and Rossi stood outside of the room where Reid now resided. He refused to sleep and didn't want a sedative. Hotch had warned the doctors and nurses not to force Reid to do anything that he didn't want to do. Morgan stayed with him, he had refused to leave his friend and it comforted Reid having him there.

"He was in hell and we never found him," Rossi shook his head. "God, I can't imagine what he has gone through."

"The doctor won't take too much longer. She can tell us everything."

They waited for a few minutes till Reid's doctor came and spoke with them. "Hello, I'm Dr Stone."

"I'm Agent Aaron Hotchner and this is Agent David Rossi. How is he?"

"Let's go to my office. It's more private."

She led them to her office where they sat down across from her.

"I've completed my tests on Spencer. I also have the DNA results. After examining him, I can tell you that he has experienced both physical and sexual trauma over the last year. He's been beaten recently but nothing broken. However, over the last year or so he's had broken bones but they set properly and healed. His left and right arm got broken at least one time each. Various fingers and ribs broken as well over the year. He will heal from his recent beating but I'm going to give him a tetanus when he wakes up. He is underweight and he needs to gain weight to help with his recovery."

Hotch took a moment to digest the information. "What about the sexual trauma?"

"He's been raped repeatedly over the last year," Dr Stone nodded. "I have to talk to you about the DNA results. I had them rushed. You told me that only one man held him captive."

"Yes, we know who he is. Why?"

"The semen samples we found. We found two DNA samples. Someone else raped him other than his kidnapper. The lab found out who the other sample belongs to when they performed a rape kit on Timothy Farrow. The other set of DNA belongs to him."

* * *

Reid brought the spoon to his mouth, eating quickly. Morgan grabbed his wrist. "Kid, you need to slow down or you'll make yourself sick. No-one will take it away from you."

"I'm sorry," Reid said quietly. "He gave me food but sometimes he made me do things for it. He'd take it away if I took too long."

"He isn't here. You take your time and eat your soup," Morgan smiled gently at him before he became more serious. He watched as Reid finished the bowl of soup "What did he feed you?"

"Water, bread and porridge most of the time. I, sometimes, had mashed potatoes or mashed up banana. That's about it."

Morgan went to speak but the door opened, Hotch and Rossi walked in. Reid flinched violently at the door opening before he saw who had come in. He relaxed and brought the covers over himself.

"Hey, Reid," Rossi smiled gently. "How are you feeling?"

Reid just shrugged.

"Reid, I need to ask you something," Hotch sighed deeply before bringing out six photos. He put them in front of Reid. Looking down at them, Reid's eyes widened. He grabbed the photos and threw them to the floor.

"Why did you do that?" Morgan questioned.

"Spencer," Hotch said seriously. "I need you to answer me truthfully. These men are Lincoln's other victims. They didn't show signs of sexual assault and neither did Timothy. Dr Stone found a semen sample from Timothy in you. What happened?"

They all watched as Reid shook his head and began to cry. He hugged his arms around his stomach.

"Kid, what happened?"

Reid looked to Morgan. "I know who they are and I know they are dead. It wasn't their fault but it still hurt. He put a gun to their heads and forced them to rape me."

"All of them?" Rossi said in shock.

Reid closed his eyes and put his head to his knees. He gave a small nod before his mind went back to a time he just wanted to forget.

* * *

_"Don't do this!" he begged as he felt Vincent climb on top of him. Vincent had been with the monster and him for a week. He tried to get out of the restraints but it never worked._

_"Don't make do this," Vincent cried to the monster. He heard the monster hit Vincent._

_"Do this or I kill you," the monster ordered. "I gave you the pill. Do it."_

_"No," he cried as he felt it on his leg. "I don't want it. Don't do this to me."_

_"Shut him up."_

_A hand clamped over his mouth and he felt Vincent lean over him. He screamed as it began._

_"Please forgive me," Vincent cried. "I'm so sorry."_

* * *

He snapped out of the memory when he felt hands shaking him. He looked up and saw Morgan in front of him. "Spencer, are you back with us?" Rossi said.

"I don't want to talk about this. You have your answer."

Reid curled up in the bed and closed his eyes. Moments later, his breathing slowed and he fell into a soft slumber.

**Please review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I got carried away writing this today and it is nice and long. I hope that gains me some points in the reviews. I think I'll do long chapters from now on and the updates will still be daily. I actually think it goes better with this kind of story and I really enjoy writing this. Thank you again for such an amazing response. I have a huge twist coming so look out for that in the next few chapters. Enjoy and I would love to know what you think.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're seriously the best and every review pushes my brain to have these ideas you all love. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review  
**

**All mistakes are my own**

Blake sat with Reid as he slept. Morgan had left against his wishes to take a shower and get some new clothes. She watched a documentary on the television. Half her mind was elsewhere though. The moment they had found Reid, nothing but joy had filled her heart. After a whole year, they had found him. She kept thinking about the moment he had almost been pulled away from them. She rubbed the bruise on her cheek from when she had hit the metal bar. Her mind focused on what would've happened if she had not kept hold of him. His scream for help when Lincoln tried to take him again kept going around her mind.

She jumped as she heard a scream. Her eyes fell to Reid where to see him writhing in pain and screaming.

"NO! NO! NO!" Reid screeched.

Blake's hand hovered over him for a moment before she took hold of his shoulders and began to shake him. "Spencer, wake up!"

He awoke and began to fight against her, she grabbed his wrists gently. "It's Blake, it's only me."

Reid looked at her for a moment before closing his eyes and falling against the pillows. He opened his eyes and clutched his blanket. His body kept shaking as he tried to calm down. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she looked down at him and held his hand.

"I can't believe that you found me," Reid breathed. "I keep thinking that this is a dream."

"It's not a dream. You're really here and you're not going anywhere again. The doctor said you could come home with us if you feel up to it. Morgan is coming back soon with some clothes for you to wear and then we'll go to the jet."

"I know I should have asked you this earlier but I'm just trying to process everything. Where am I? What state?"

"You're in Florida."

"Oh," he said gently.

"It's okay to show how you really feel. I'm so proud of you for holding on through everything that happened to you. You're such a strong and brave man."

"I'm not strong and I'm not brave. The last time I was brave, I paid dearly for it. It's hard to talk about what happened to me but I know if I keep it inside, it'll turn dark and hurt me. I've been raped by eight men over the last year. Seven, who were just scared and wanted to live. One, who took me from my home and did unspeakable things to me."

"What do you mean you paid dearly?"

"I got away once."

"Oh my god! When?" she gasped.

"It was about three months after he took me. I kept track of time by asking the others the date. I-I got away. He got drunk and after he-" Reid said before stopping and taking a deep breath. "After he used me, he forgot to tie me down to the bed properly. I managed to slip out of the restraints and I ran away from the house. It was surrounded by trees but I just ran in my shirt and trousers. I didn't make it far. I ran into one of his traps and fell into a hole he had dug. I tried to get out but he found me a few hours later. He was so angry. He dragged me out and took me back to the house. He beat me horribly. For the next few days after, he wouldn't let me sleep. He used sleep deprivation to torture me. I didn't sleep for days. The rapes increased after that day. He even taunted me with you all."

Blake took a moment to absorb everything. "How did he taunt you?"

"There was a news report. It was Hotch and he was asking for help finding another person. Lincoln had found it online and put it on the television. He let me watch it but only while he using me. He kept telling me how you had all given up and that I was all his. I kept my eyes on the screen the entire time. I don't understand why he kept me. He killed the others. He killed them and he made me watch. I heard them scream and you want to know the messed up thing. I wanted to be them sometimes. It ended for them. It didn't end for me. Not till you found me. Thank you for not letting go of the rope. You didn't let him get me again."

"No way was I going to lose you seconds after finding you," she smiled gently at him. "We are never going to lose you again."

"How's my mom?" Reid asked.

"She's fine. She misses you everyday, I go and see her every two weeks. She shows me pictures of you and letters that you sent to her. Rossi took over the costs of keeping her at Bennington and we still have all your stuff. You can go see her when it's safe enough."

"Thank you for visiting her. I don't want to think about what she has gone through. She panics when she doesn't get a letter. Did you all really never give up?"

"We never gave up. We always followed any lead. We would have felt it if you had died. All we felt was hope and it led us to you."

* * *

Hotch sat with Timothy in his room. "Timothy, we know what happened. We know what Lincoln made you do."

Timothy looked up at Hotch with red eyes. "I didn't want to do it. I'm so sorry. He would've killed me. He forced the pill down my throat and then he took me to the bedroom. What was the other man's name? The one that I hurt. I don't know his name."

"Spencer, his name is Spencer."

"I saw Spencer on the bed, tied down with straps. He didn't have any trousers on. I cried the entire time. I feel disgusted at myself for what I did but, I just didn't want to die. The bastard laughed at us. I don't know how long Spencer must have been with that monster but he just laid there and didn't react to anything. That seemed to make the guy angry. I'm so sorry. Can I see him? I need to talk to him."

"I'm not sure if that is a good idea. He was with Lincoln for over a year and he has gone through a lot. He's traumatized."

"Please, I'll leave if I upset him but I need to talk with him."

* * *

Reid slipped the clothes on in the bathroom, he stroked the warm jacket he was wearing. After a year of being cold, being warm felt almost alien to him. He looked into the mirror and stroked his fingers along his swollen and bruised eyes, his bruised jaw line and his split lip. He put his hands on the sink and closed his eyes. It was hard to stop the memories when it was all that had haunted him for a year. He remembered Vincent the most out of all the men Lincoln brought to the house. Vincent stayed the longest.

* * *

_He ate the porridge as Vincent fed him through the bars. His eye was swollen shut from his most recent beating but he liked not being alone in the basement. He finished the bowl of porridge and accepted the water as Vincent held it to his mouth. Reid coughed and spluttered some of the water on the floor. He coughed and moaned in pain._

_"You're sick," Vincent said._

_Reid nodded gently. Vincent was only chained by his leg, his hands were free to reach through the bars. Reid's hands were bound tightly. He felt his forehead. "You're burning up too. He can't keep hurting you."_

_"He doesn't care," Reid moaned. "I'm a toy to him. Have been for months. Don't know why he chose me and I wish he would let me go. I had a family, a family of friends and I miss them."_

_"You know what he's going to do to me," Vincent said sadly._

_Reid nodded sadly. "I'm sorry."_

_"I'm the one that is sorry. I raped you. You screamed for me not to. I just didn't want to die. I'm sorry."_

_"You aren't the first he's made hurt me and you aren't the last. It's not your fault. It's his fault. Don't ever think this is your fault. It's just hard not to get upset when it happens. Do you have a family?"_

_"Just my mom and me. Always has been."_

_"Same."_

_"Spencer, do you think that there is a heaven?"_

_"I'm not sure. I'd like to think so."_

_"Do you think I'll still go there after what I did to you?" Vincent asked._

_"I do. You better or else I'll give the boss up there a pass for you," Reid said before putting his head against the bars. He screamed as he was suddenly pulled backwards, away from the bars and into the dark._

_"SPENCER!" Vincent yelled._

_The monster brought him into his arms and dragged him down the darkness and into the bedroom._

_"No, please," he begged. "I don't want to. Please!"_

_The monster threw him to the bed and climbed on top of him. He clenched his eyes shut as the monster grabbed his jaw. "Open your eyes, Spencer. You are here for my pleasure and you do not tell me what to do."_

_"Why did you take me?" Reid cried. "Why won't you ever tell me?"_

_He watched the monster grab a gag and tie it around his head. He felt the monster's weight on top of him and stared at the ceiling._

* * *

Reid jolted out of the memory when he heard banging at his door. He opened the door and found Hotch and Morgan standing there. He walked out to see Timothy by the door. He stepped closer to Morgan and stared at the floor.

"Spencer, I'm sorry. I didn't want to. I needed to come here and ask for your forgiveness."

Reid looked up from the floor and looked at Timothy. "I forgive you. It wasn't your fault and you had no choice."

"Thank you!" Timothy cried before stepping forward.

"Stop!" Reid yelped. "I don't want you to touch me. I'm sorry but I need you to go. I only trust a few people and that is my family. You remind me too much of the others. The ones that died. Please, just go. You have my forgiveness, go."

Timothy rushed out of the room. Morgan stepped forward and put his arm around Reid. "Kid, you ready to go home?"

"I've been ready for a year."

* * *

Morgan helped him out of the SUV. As Reid stepped out of the SUV, he saw the jet. He let out a smile at the sight. "It's strange to feel so happy about a jet."

"I bet it is."

Rossi and Blake were staying in Florida so they could finish up the search of the house. Reid just wanted to get as far away as he could from that place. He made his way up the steps and into the jet. He stepped in to see colourful baskets, a cover and pillow on the small couch area and a Tardis balloon. His eyes widened as Garcia stepped out of the kitchen area. "Garcia!"

"Oh, Reid," she cried as she saw him. "It's really you."

He rushed forward and threw his arms around her. He hugged her tight and cried. He'd missed her so much. He'd missed her smile, all the wonderful colours she wore and the way she kept everyone happy. "I've missed you so much," he cried before smiling. "I never thought I would see you again."

"I missed you too," she said happily before kissing his cheek. She came out of the hug and cradled his face. "Oh, what did he do to you?"

"I don't want you to know everything. Not you. I don't want you tainted with the evil of that place. Is JJ with you?"

"She's getting everything ready for when we get back to Quantico. She can't fly at the moment."

"Why?"

"She's almost at the end of her due date."

"She's pregnant," he smiled.

"Yeah, she's going to have another little boy. Come here, I want you nice and comfortable," she said as she led him to the couch area and helped him under the cover. He stayed sitting up. She sat down next to him with a basket. Morgan and Hotch went to the other side of the jet, giving them some time alone together. Garcia opened the basket. "I brought all the goodies you could imagine. Oh, Reid. I've missed you so much. I haven't stopped thinking about you since the day you disappeared. He hurt you, didn't he?"

Reid nodded before brushing tears from his eyes. Garcia knew she had to change the subject. She brought out a thermal cup from the table and handed it to him. He sipped from it and closed his eyes. "It's coffee," he smiled. "I haven't had this in over a year."

Garcia brought out a bar of chocolate and opened it. "How about this?"

Reid to a bite and savoured the taste as it melted on his tongue. He looked up to Garcia and took a shaky breath. "Thank you."

"I'm going to give you all the chocolate and coffee you want."

"No, I mean, thank you for what you gave me before. You gave me happy memories. I remembered all the times we went to conventions, had movies nights and made cupcakes. You kept me alive in that place. Thank you."

Garcia brought him into a gentle hug and held him. She didn't say anything, she just held him. No words needed. She had him back and she never wanted to let him go.

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I am evil with my cliffhanger in this but I have a nickname for a reason. I had intended this to have lot more in it and be longer but my hands are messing about again. Luckily, I had half done yesterday so this is still a long chapter. Thank you again for all your support. Enjoy and let me know what you think.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I give you all virtual cookies and I just want to say that you are all wonderful angels. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid watched with fascination as he they made their way back to Rossi's house. It was the most secure of all their homes. Lincoln was still out there but he knew that the man would have difficulty catching up with them quickly. His face now posted at all the airports, bus and train stations. He'd have to drive if he wanted him again. He prayed that Lincoln got caught. It felt worse now that he had a name. Reid had always seen him as the monster. He would always see him as a monster, never a man. He looked back out the window. Every light and colour caught his attention. After being in somewhere so dark, it was wonderful to see the world again. He licked his lips, still tasting coffee and chocolate on them. He'd been starved and barely fed for a years, things so trivial to others, were precious to him now. He smiled as Rossi's house came into view. The car stopped and he waited for Garcia to help him out of the car. She came and helped him. His legs were still a little shaky. Hotch had gone back to the BAU to sort some things out.

"You'll be safe here," Garcia smiled. "JJ is waiting to see you."

He went with her into the house, it was so warm as he stepped in. He looked around and noticed that nothing was out of place. Rossi was still a man of consistency. They turned the corner and there she was.

"JJ," he said before he let out a small sob and began to shake. JJ began to cry as she saw him. She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. He put his face into the crook of her neck and kept crying.

"It's okay, Spence. You're home. I missed you so much. We never stopped looking for you. Oh, god. You're really back."

He came away from the hug. "I missed you too," he said as he wiped his eyes. "I never stopped thinking about any of you. I never stopped thinking about Henry. Is he okay?"

"He's fine. He just wants to see you. He's never stopped wondering where you were."

"You can't ever tell him" he shook his head quickly. "Never tell him."

"We told him you were secret agent and you were undercover. It was the first thing that came to us. He thinks you were in an accident recently, that's all."

"Thank you. I don't want him to ever know what happened," Reid said. He looked down at her swollen belly. "You're having another baby."

"Yeah," she smiled before wiping her tears with a tissue. "A little boy. Here, feel."

She gently took his hands and placed them on her bump. He let out a gentle laugh as he felt her baby kick.

JJ looked at him as he stared at her stomach and felt her baby kick. She couldn't imagine the pain and suffering he'd gone through in the place he'd been held. She knew the basics of what he had suffered. She looked at his eyes. Even though he was happy, his eyes looked lost and haunted. He brought his hands away and put them by his sides. "He's got a strong kick."

"Don't I know it," she smiled at him. She put her hand on his face and stroked his cheek. "Oh, what did he do to you?"

"Gave me hell," Reid said simply.

"Reid, Henry and Will are in the other room. Are you okay to see them? If not, they can come back."

"I want to see them," Reid said immediately.

"I'll get them," Garcia smiled gently. JJ watched over Reid's shoulder as Morgan came through the door with baskets of cakes and chocolate and put them on the table. He signalled that there was more, making her smile.

"Uncle Spencer!"

Reid cried happily as Henry ran to him. He knelt and immediately brought his godson into his arms. He stayed there and kept hold of him. "I missed you so much, Uncle Spencer. Don't ever go undercover again."

"I won't, I promise," Spencer said before his eyes met Will's eyes. He came away from the hug and looked at Henry. "Look at you. You got so big. Are you looking forward to being a big brother?"

"Yeah. I'm going to help mom and dad with little Spencer."

"Little Spencer?"

JJ stroked her baby bump. "We already named the baby. He's named after you."

"Thank you," he said quietly before taking a deep breath. Henry brought his hand up and trailed the dark bruises along Reid's face. "You got hurt."

"I just had a little accident. That's all."

* * *

Reid looked in the mirror. Henry, JJ and Will had left after staying with him for two hours. JJ hadn't want to but he knew she had gotten exhausted and needed to sleep. He had taken a mirror off the wall and put it on the floor and against the wall. He stared at the mirror as he sat on the floor and brought his hands through his hair. It was down to his ears and very shaggy. He clenched his eyes shut as he remembered the monster grabbing his hair as he got used. The monster liked to grab his hair. Liked to forced him to is knees when he wasn't in the mood for the bedroom. Reid brought the small knife he had grabbed from the kitchen when the others had not been looking. He grabbed a chunk of his hair and began to cut through it with the knife. The day before the team had found him, the monster had chopped his hair but not very well. The hair fell to the floor and he continued by cutting away another chunk. He chopped away. He didn't want the monster to grab his hair again. He didn't hear the door open.

"Reid, no!" Morgan shouted before rushing forward and grabbing the hand the knife was in. He wrestled the knife out of his grip.

"You don't understand," Reid shook his head.

"Then help me understand," Morgan said as he slid the knife across the wooden floor to the other side of the room. "Why were you doing that?"

"He liked to grab my hair. It's too long. He used to force me to my knees by my hair. He made me do things to him. So many things. Once, we were in his living room. He had a pornographic movie on. I was completely bound next to him. He called me names because I wouldn't watch the movie. He got excited after a while and grabbed my hair, then he pulled me to his lap."

"You don't have to tell me any more. I understand. Kid, I need an honest answer from you as I ask this. How often did he force himself on you?"

"I don't know. I stopped counting. Morgan, it hurt so much. Especially the first time. I was so scared," Reid whispered. "I had no control and it went on for so long."

Morgan brought Reid into his arms and rubbed his back. Reid closed his eyes and felt the ghost of the past catch him again.

* * *

_"No," he begged the monster as he got tied to the bed. He tried to struggle but he felt weak. He hadn't eaten for days. He didn't want this to happen. Hands slid over his body before brushing through his hair. "Please, don't do this. You don't have to do this. I won't tell anyone about you. Just let me go...please."_

_"That will never happen, Spencer. You're mine. I can do whatever I want to you. You're never going to leave this place. The best thing you can do is accept that you are mine. You'll enjoy this."_

_"NO!" Reid screamed angrily. "Help! Someone help me!"_

_Reid felt a ball of cloth stuffed into his mouth, the monster tied a gag over his mouth next. He squirmed and cried harder when he felt the monster's hand where it should never be. He yelped as the hand came away. He screamed when something worse began._

* * *

He jolted back to reality and took a deep breath. His mind was only scratching the surface of all the pain. "I'm sorry, sometimes I still think I'm still in that place. Being outside, even being here, feels so strange. He treated me like I was nothing. I don't want my hair like this because it reminds me of him."

"Okay," Morgan nodded. "How about Garcia cuts your hair? With scissors, not a knife."

"That sounds good," Reid smiled gently. "Just cut it short."

* * *

Garcia sat with him in front of the mirror, his hair was now wet and a towel around his shoulders. She brought out a length of hair and cut it away, he sat silently as she cut his hair to a short length. He let is mind wander again.

* * *

_He sat on the recliner, his hands bound behind back and his legs tied together, with a gag in his mouth. The monster watched the television, a beer in his hand, on the couch. Reid had sat there for over two hours. He preferred being in his hole than in here. He was alone down there. Here, he was left at the monster's mercy. Watching the monster walk into the kitchen, his eyes wandered to a letter opener of the table. He hated salvation being so far out of reach. A shiver travelled up his spine as the monster came back in with a bottle of beer and sat on the edge of the recliner. He took the gag out and smiled._

_"Spencer, I get the feeling you don't enjoy it here," the monster sighed._

_"What do you think?" Reid said before he looked up at him. "I've been with you for eight months. You've done horrible things to me and kept me against my will. I want you to die."_

_"That was a brave speech," the monster laughed. Reid cried out in pain as he got slammed to the floor. Rolled to his back, the monster straddled his hips. He pinched his nose shut and shoved the bottle to Reid's lips. He began to choke as the beer got forced down his throat._

* * *

He came back to reality as Garcia dried his hair.

"What do you think?" she said as she finished. He stroked his hands over it and smiled. He turned around to face Garcia.

"It's wonderful. Thank you."

She stroked his hair and kissed his forehead. "How about we get you some dinner? Morgan is ordering chinese food."

"That sounds great."

Garcia bit her lower lip before talking. "Reid, I need to tell you something. Two months after you disappeared, the directors brought a new member to the team. He's coming over because he's going to help us protect you. Will you be alright with him here with you? Morgan and me have to go back to the BAU for an hour later on. I have to sync my system so I can come home and work here for the rest of the time. Morgan has to check in with Hotch and speak with the section chief. Is that okay?"

Reid licked his lips. "Do you trust him?"

"He's been really good to the team. I trust him. He saved Morgan from being stabbed. His name is Brandon Rone. He's just come back from a visit to his family but he knows how much you mean to us and he just wants to help. I'm not going to stay there for long. I promise."

"Okay but don't be long. I don't want to stay alone for too long without you."

* * *

**A few hours later**

Morgan opened the door and let Brandon in. "Hey, Derek. How is he?"

"Asleep. We are going to go before he wakes up and hopefully be back before he wakes up too. Just stay in the living room and if he calls, only go to the door. He doesn't know you like we do. Just give him some space."

"I'll stay out of his room unless he calls. I promise," Brandon nodded. Garcia came forward.

"Brandon, if anyone tries to break into this house, you shoot first. I want him kept safe."

"Yes, ma'am."

He closed the door as they left. He locked the door behind him and made his way to the bedroom. He opened the door and walked in. Spencer wasn't in the bed. "Spencer, where are you? It's Brandon, Garcia has told me about you."

Brandon walked over to the closet and whipped it open. He walked over to the bed and checked underneath. He fell to the floor as he felt something hard smack into the back of his head.

Reid stood above the man with the metal award. "It's you. Oh my god, it's you."

**Please review**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I all left you on a cliffhanger, here you find out why. There is so much more to come and I am just really excited to write it. Thank you for your continued support with this. I really appreciate it. I would love to know what you think of this chapter as I am really nervous.  
**

** Thank you for the amazing reviews, I love them all and I just want to say you're brilliant. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid dropped the award and looked down at the man he had knocked out. He stood frozen till his mind kicked in. He grabbed the man's legs and pulled him over to the closet. He heard a moan and rushed to pull him in, making sure to grab his gun. He jumped over the man and slammed the door. He pulled over a nearby chair and shoved it under the door knob. He heard noises from inside and stepped back. A loud bang filled the room as the man slammed his fist into the door. "Spencer, open the damn door!"

Rushing to the kitchen, Reid grabbed the portable phone. He went back to the room and jumped as the door banged again. He dialled Morgan's number and prayed the number had not changed. He waited for an answer.

"Hello," Morgan answered. "You're on speaker.

"COME BACK!" Reid practically yelled down the phone.

"Reid, what's wrong?"

"The man who came in. I knocked him out and put him in the cupboard. I'm not safe with him. You don't understand, you have to come and arrest him."

"Reid, the man who came in is Brandon. We're coming back. He isn't dangerous," Garcia said down the phone.

"YES, HE IS!" Reid cried. "He was there. He hurt me with Lincoln. His voice, I could never forget his voice. You have to come back. I don't know if the closet will hold him."

Reid dropped the phone as the closet door burst open. It crashed to the floor, the battery falling out. He gripped the gun tightly and held it in front of him. "Don't you come near me."

"You were never meant to leave that place," Brandon snapped. "So you remember me? That's strange. I read the report I got today on you. It said only eight men hurt you. Was I not worth a mention?"

Reid held the gun tighter as he struggled to keep his mind from losing control. "You've been working with my team this entire time."

"You got a nice team," Brandon sighed. "I guess I won't get to go back to them now. Lincoln called me. He's not happy that you left, not at all. He just can't wait to get you back."

"I'm never going back to that fucking place," Reid spat.

"You won't go back there, you'll go somewhere a lot worse. Now, put that gun down and come here."

"No!"

"You never used to be this disobedient. Not during my visits. My job was to come here and take you back to him. I don't intend to let him down."

Reid pulled the trigger on the gun but nothing happened. He pulled it again and stared at the gun in horror. Brandon laughed at him. "You really thought that I would bring a loaded gun into a house with a traumatized man."

Dropping the gun, Reid ran out of the room. He screamed as he felt an arm wrap around his waist. A hand slammed over his mouth. "Shhh...you're going home now. Lincoln is going to take such good care of you."

Hope came to him as he saw lights at the window.

"Shit!" Brandon cursed.

Brandon removed his arm from Reid's waist and grabbed a knife from the wooden block. He pressed it to Reid's throat as the door burst open. Morgan rushed in with his gun drawn. "Brandon, let him go."

"Can't do that Derek! He's coming with me."

Reid whined as he tried to get out of Brandon's grasp. He looked into Morgan's eyes and saw the worry in them. He didn't want to go back to the monster. He thought it was all over when he'd been rescued. Tears fell down his cheeks and hit Brandon's hand.

"Oh, don't cry, Spencer."

"Don't you dare talk to him," Morgan growled. "You knew where he was the entire time. YOU KNEW! How could you walk around near us? You knew what we were going through."

"Even got you off Lincoln's trail a few times," Brandon smiled. "You think Spencer is the first I helped him get. I was the one who sent him to little Spencer. Made a nice little path for me into your team. Crime pays better than the bureau."

"Get your hands off him!" Morgan yelled at him.

Brandon took a few steps back with Reid shielding him.

"I'm going to walk out of here with Spencer. You try to stop me, I'll slice his pretty little neck open," Brandon said before whispering in Reid's ear. "You'll like what Lincoln has planned. He's got lots of new toys."

Reid screamed into the hand over his mouth and cried harder. The knife nicked his neck as Brandon suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. His hands disappearing from Reid's body. Stumbling forward, he turned around to see Garcia with a golf club in her hand. She dropped the gold club and looked up at him. She rushed over to him and brought him out of the kitchen while Morgan secured Brandon. Cradling his face, she felt him shaking. "Reid, look at me. He's out cold. You're safe now."

"Garcia, I thought I told you to stay outside," Morgan called from the kitchen.

"I couldn't stay out there and do nothing!" she shouted back before focusing back on Reid. "Honey, I need you to focus on me."

He couldn't, his mind had won the battle.

* * *

_He struggled against the monster as he got dragged out of his hole. Forced to his knees, the monster put a blindfold around his eyes and a gag in his mouth. He struggled more when he realised what was happening. The man was here. He got dragged somewhere, only knowing it was the bedroom when he got slammed on the bed. He kicked out his feet as the monster grabbed them and tied each one down. His hands getting strapped down too. He was never allowed to see the other man. _

_"Be a good boy," the monster whispered in his ear before giving it a quick bite. Reid winced and turned his head away. He listened as the monster left the room. A few minutes later, footsteps came into the room. _

_"There you are," the man said happily before grabbing his hair and yanking it back. He grunted at the pain of his hair being pulled. "I love the noises you make. Are you excited to see me?"_

_He hated the man as he pushed his head down forcefully into a nod. His gag got removed. "Don't hurt me, please. I can't take it."_

_The man grabbed his jaw and forced two pills into his mouth. His nose and mouth being blocked, he got forced to swallow the pills. The gag got put back in his mouth and the man left the room. He heard the man in the bathroom washing himself up. Reid put his head against the pillows and felt the pills take effect after a few minutes. His head felt dizzy and he couldn't focus on anything. He squirmed when he felt a weight on his hips. A hot breath came by his ear. "I'm not gonna be gentle."_

_Reid cried weakly as he felt it begin. His body began to move up and down._

* * *

_"Come on, pet!" _

_Reid still felt sick and dizzy as he walked through the forest. He was still blindfolded but felt the dirt and sticks below his feet. He fell as the man tugged on the lead. Reid hated the collar around his neck. It'd been attached to a dog lead. He cried into his gag when a slap came across his face. Stumbling to his feet, he got pulled to his feet. "Stupid thing."_

_Dragged back to the house, he smacked against the floor. His shirt being pushed up his back as the man got ready. "I'm going to punish you for falling over."_

_Laying there, Reid feared what was coming. He screeched into his gag as the men began to hit him with a thin tv aerial. The monster used it on the others brought to the house sometimes. He didn't stop for almost a minute. He laid there in tears as pain seared his back. A hand grabbed his hair and pulled it up. "That's what we get for falling."_

_The man climbed on top of him. "This is what we get for being a good boy."_

_He cried again._

* * *

When he came back from his memories, he realised he was in the bathroom, Garcia in front of him, wiping the blood from his neck. "Garcia."

"Oh, thank god. I've panicked since I brought you up here. Baby boy, are you okay?"

Reid shook his head and began to cry again. "Oh god."

"Stay with me, Reid. Brandon is still unconscious and in handcuffs. Plus, Morgan is standing guard. What did Brandon do to you?"

"Raped me," Reid sobbed. "Drugged me every time he came to the house, and then hurt me so much. M-Made me wear a collar and dragged me around like a dog."

Garcia closed her eyes and felt pure fury at Brandon. "I read your file, Reid. You said only eight men hurt you. Why didn't you tell us about Brandon?"

"I didn't know his name or what he looked like till he came into this house. His voice though," he whispered and grabbed Garcia's arms. "I can't forget it. He only came once a month but every time he came, he used me, beat me and drugged me. I never said anything because he threatened to murder everyone. My mother and my team. He knew about you. Now, I know why."

"We didn't know," Garcia said as she hugged him. "Oh god, we didn't know."

"I had to do something," Reid said. "I needed to knock him out. He wants to take me back to Lincoln. Don't make me go back."

"You are never going back to that bastard. Brandon isn't immune to interrogation, he'll talk about Lincoln and then we'll arrest that evil bastard."

"I don't want to stay here any more."

* * *

Rossi and Blake looked down at the contents they had taken from Lincoln's house. They stared at the box that contained a large amount of DVDs, each labeled with dates. At least ten dates listed on each package holding them. "Rossi, you know what these are."

"I know," Rossi said sadly before picking up one of the packets with a disc in it. "We have to take these back to Quantico."

"We can't watch these," Blake shook her head.

"We may have to," Rossi sighed. "They might have clues to where he may have gone. I don't want to watch them but we might have to. God, there are so many."

Rossi answered his phone as it began to ring. "This is Rossi."

Blake watched as Rossi answered the phone, his eyes widened and anger spilled into them. "We'll be back on the jet immediately. See you in a few hours."

He slammed shut his phone and took a shaky breath.

"Rossi, what is it?"

"Grab those, we're going back to Quantico now. Brandon tried to take Reid back to Lincoln. Son of a bitch is working with him."

* * *

_Reid walked to his apartment, his day had been tough but he had completed all his paperwork. Now, he just wanted to get a nice warm cup of coffee and read his new books. He walked into his apartment. He yelped as a hand slammed over his mouth and an arm wrapped around his waist. He struggled and kicked out as he got dragged to his bedroom. He kicked over his table but failed to get out of the man's grasp. His attacker forced him to his bed. His hands pinned beneath him by his own weight and his hips pinned by the weight on top of him._

_"Spencer, this is the start of something wonderful."_

* * *

He brought his knees up to his chest as he sat on Hotch's couch in his office. He rocked slightly as he tried to keep himself calm. Garcia had brought him here from the house. He knew Brandon got arrested but he wasn't sure where he was. He didn't want to know. He jumped as the door opened, he relaxed when he saw it was JJ and Garcia. JJ brought a blanket over and put it around him. "How are you doing?"

"Just trying not to lose control," he admitted. "He was just a man to me and now I found out who he is really is. He gave me to Lincoln and stopped you all from finding me."

"We are so sorry," JJ said as tucked the blanket around him. "We didn't know. We're profilers and we couldn't see what he truly is. Spence, I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know. It's okay," Reid assured her. "I'm just happy that Garcia got him. She has a mean swing."

Reid and JJ let out a soft laugh as they saw the look on her face. "Thank you, Garcia. For not letting him take me."

"It's my job to protect you," Garcia smiled at him. "Here, I brought you some more coffee."

She handed him a thermal cup again. He took a large sip and smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

**A few hours later**

Hotch greeted Rossi and Blake as they came out of the elevator. "Hey, good to have you both back. We have Brandon in an interrogation room. His head wound has received treatment. What's that?"

He pointed to the box, wrapped in a plastic bag, that Rossi was holding.

"We found DVD's with Reid's name on them. There are a lot of them. We think he recorded his sessions with Reid."

"Son of a bitch," Hotch cursed.

* * *

Morgan walked into the interrogation room, keeping control of himself even though he just wanted to beat the man to a pulp.

"Hello, Derek," Brandon smiled. "Ready to put the screws to me."

"I want answers, Brandon. You helped someone kidnap a federal agent and you, yourself, have raped, drugged and degraded that agent. I want Lincoln and I want him now."

**Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. In my defense, I know that this fanfic is pretty dark. I wanted to do something very dark but I like to think I'm countering it with my other fanfic. Not all my fanfics involve a certain subject but I'll admit that some involve it or have a slight almost moment in them. This is my darkest fic yet I think. Any way, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I'd love to know what you think. Enjoy. Also, this isn't too graphic, is it? I like to think I'm hitting a boundary but not going over it.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I just want to pick you all up and hug you all. You are all wonderful, amazing people. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"I'm not telling you anything," Brandon smirked. "I don't have to tell you where a certain someone's location is."

"You arrogant bastard," Morgan said angrily. "Tell me this. How could you walk around us, work with us, knowing where he was and using him like you did? You gave Spencer to him."

"You want the truth, I'll tell you. I know that Spencer knows who I am and I'm not getting out of this, at least not for a while."

"You won't ever get out this."

"I'm a man of many skills," Brandon chuckled. "One such skill is hurting the hell out of Spencer. He screamed but I knew that he liked it. He loved the drugs too. He'd beg for more as I had a piece of his sweet ass. It was fun being part of the team. It was fun practising baseball with you, watching movies with Garcia. The team outings. I even baby sat Henry. I got the thrill being part of the family. I would hear Spencer crying in his little hole. He just wanted you to come and rescue him. He wanted you to come for him and instead, you were best buddies with me."

Morgan stared at Brandon with hate in his eyes. He clenched his fists under the table to keep himself from losing all control. "Where is Lincoln? You know where he is. I want him now."

"Oh, Derek. He'd love to hear those words from you," Brandon winked before leaning back in his chair. "Shall I tell you about my favourite time with Spencer? I tied him to a tree outside and hooked a nice long chain around it. He just walked around blindfolded and cried for hours. Giving him that taste of the outside and then dragging him back into that house, that was divine. It broke him down a bit at a time. The cherry on the top was hearing him call out all your names. He begged for you to save him. Morgan, I'm scared," he began to mock. "It hurts, Morgan. Where are you, Morgan?"

"You kept us from finding him."

"Still doesn't matter. He'll live the rest of his life with the memories of that place. The memories of the year he was Lincoln's bitch. You think he'll ever forget the rapes, the beatings and others things he saw. We ruined him then and we'll ruin him again. You came so close to finding him once," Brandon laughed, near hysterically. "You remember that Gary Trent guy, the man who took those three men. Guess who he knew? He wasn't armed when I shot him, wasn't hard to put a gun in his hand. I couldn't risk him spilling the details about Spencer."

"You son of a bitch!" Morgan yelled before he jumped out his chair and grabbed Brandon by the throat. He slammed him against the wall and threw a punch across his face. "I'll kill you!

"Morgan, don't!" Hotch shouted as he came into the room and grabbed Morgan's wrist. He wrenched it away and began to drag Morgan out of the room.

"I see you again, I'll break your neck!"

Hotch dragged him out of the room and locked the door behind him. "He isn't worth it. He knows that by antagonizing you, he is going to push you over the edge."

"We came so close to getting Reid back," Morgan fumed as he paced up and down, calming himself down. "The Gary Trent case was five months ago. God, we could have saved him if we had gotten the chance to talk to Gary. He knew where Spencer was."

"We'll make Brandon pay, he'll fry. I'll make sure of that. We can't think about what we could have done. We can't go back in the past and rectify the mistake. Reid is safe now and we got him back."

"The only reason we got him was because Brandon didn't know about the case. It makes sense why he was so reluctant to take any time off."

"Morgan, Lincoln recorded his sessions with Reid. There are a lot of DVDs. I don't want to but we need to look at some of the footage to build on Lincoln's profile. We also have the footage from each murder Lincoln committed."

"Jesus," Morgan shook his head.

* * *

They sat there in the BAU room, everyone except for Reid and Garcia. JJ had placed headphones on her stomach to stop the baby hearing. Hotch walked up to the box and pulled out on of the DVD's labeled 'Vincent'.

He walked over and placed it in the player while Rossi closed the blinds. He pressed play and sat down. The screen came alive.

JJ put her hand over her mouth as she saw the video. Reid had been gagged, his legs bound, with his hands bound in front of him in the corner of the room, while a restrained Vincent got dragged into the room. Lincoln threw Vincent to the ground before kicking him to the stomach. Muffled pleas filled the screen as Reid tried to talk. They all flinched as Lincoln slapped Reid across the face.

_"Shut up, Spencer. You know how to act and you know the price if you fuck with me!"_

Reid hunched back in his corner and put his tied hands to his cheek.

_"Vincent, my dear little Vincent,"_ Lincoln sighed on the screen. _"I'm afraid our time together is over. You were very good though when taking care of Spencer. You also did a superb job in the bedroom with him."_

_"Fuck you,"_ Vincent said before spitting in his face. Lincoln recoiled back. _"I never wanted to hurt him. You made me!"_

Lincoln brought a large knife out and plunged it into Vincent's chest. Reid screamed behind his gag and cried as he watched Lincoln plunge the knife in over and over.

JJ looked down at the floor with a tear dripping down her cheek. She took a deep breath before looking back up at the screen. Hotch kept his eyes on Reid on the screen, he watched more pain arrive in the young man's eyes. Rossi watched but looked away at certain times. Morgan crushed a piece of paper in his hand. He wanted to hit the wall but knew that was a bad idea. He needed to save his fists for Lincoln. Blake kept her hand over her mouth as she watched.

They watched as Lincoln dragged Vincent's body out of view, they heard the sound of plastic for a few moments before Lincoln came into the view again. He grabbed a collar and chain from the shelf. He slipped it around Reid's neck and locked it in place. He dragged the chain and locked it into a hook. Cutting the ropes from his hands and legs, he dragged Reid over to the blood. He ripped his gag out.

_"You didn't have to kill him,"_ Reid cried before letting out a cough. _"You don't have to kill any of them."_

Lincoln walked back and backhanded him across the face. He cried out when Lincoln grabbed his hair and dragged him to all the blood. A scrubber got shoved into his hands while a bucket got slid next to him.

"Leave him alone," Morgan growled at the screen, even though he knew it was no use.

_"You are going to clean this up!"_ Lincoln yelled in Reid's face. _"I want it clean!"_

_"Why me?"_ Reid cried._ "Why won't you just kill me?!"_

_"Oh, Spencer,"_ he cooed before stroking Reid's face. He brought his other hand down and grabbed Reid's private area making Reid still. _"I just love this so much. I enjoy everything about you. Now, clean it up!"_

Reid cried out as his head got slammed into the ground. Lincoln walked out of view, they saw Reid focus on the door before it slammed shut. Grabbing the chain, he pulled at it before screaming in frustration. He collapsed to the ground and curled into a ball.

"Oh, Reid," Blake whispered.

Reid came out of the ball after five minutes, he grabbed the scrubber and put it in the water. He pushed forward and began to wash away the blood. _"Make it clean,"_ he whispered. _"Got to get it clean."_

"I'm going to kill Lincoln," Morgan said angrily.

_"Where are you?"_ Reid sobbed, making them all look to the screen. _"I want to go home."_

They watched him still before nodding fast. _"They'll come for me. I know they will. I just have to hold on. Just have to hold on."_

"Turn it off!" JJ shouted before she rose from her chair, taking off the headphones. She walked out of the room and went to the woman's bathroom.

* * *

Garcia sat on the couch with Reid, a blanket over them both. They were watching Doctor Who. For once in his life, there were episodes that he had not seen. He found himself under her arm and had never felt safer. The episode ended and she looked down at him. "Do you want to watch another one?"

"Actually, I'm a little hungry," he said before his stomach growled.

"That sounds like more than a little."

"I don't need much," he shrugged.

Garcia put her laptop down and pushed away the blanket. She got up and knelt in front of him. "Sweetie, how much have you really had to eat since we found you? I found the chocolate I gave you, you only ate half a bar. You barely touched your chinese food before. The only thing you are having is lots of coffee."

Reid looked down at his lap. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," she quickly assured him. "I'm just worried."

"I'm telling you the truth about not needing much. I'd go days at a time without eating. Look, I'm afraid."

"I know."

"No, you don't," he shook his head. "You don't know the things I did for food and water. What I had to give him and the disgust I felt while doing it."

He looked away and wiped his eyes. "I'm afraid that I'll eat and I'll have to do it again. I know it's a stupid thought. I got sick once and my stomach hurt when I ate food. He didn't like me rejecting food he has spent most of five minutes making. He force-fed me. I am hungry, very hungry."

Garcia brought him up so he stood. "No-one will make you do those things again. You can have all the food you want, when you want. Come on, we'll get you some food. I know there are some sandwiches in the break room."

They left Hotch's office, they both stopped as JJ came out of the BAU room, rushed past them and went into the bathroom.

"What's wrong with JJ?" Reid asked.

"I don't know," she said.

"I can get the sandwiches myself. Go and check JJ. Stress isn't safe for her baby."

Garcia hesitated. "Don't leave this level and you come straight back here. I'll be right back."

* * *

Reid nodded and watched her go into the bathroom after JJ. He made his way to the break room and found the sandwiches, he opened the box and quickly devoured the ham and cheese sandwich. He went to pick up the other sandwich when Lincoln's voice echoed in his head.

_'There you go. Such a good whore. Finish and I'll give you some food.'_

He dropped the sandwich and felt urge to throw up the one he had eaten. He took a deep breath and kept it down. He made his way out of the kitchen area and went to the BAU room. He opened the door and froze at the sound coming from the television.

_'NOOO! Stop. It hurts! Please, I didn't do anything w-wrong. Ahhhh!'_

He let out a sob causing them to all turn around and look at him in horror. Morgan raced after him as he ran away into the men's bathroom. He struggled as strong arms wrapped around his arms. "No!"

Morgan let go and turned him around. "Kid, calm down. It's just me."

Reid's knees gave out and he collapsed to the ground. "H-How can you watch that? You were watching him rape me."

"We found DVDs at Lincoln's house. We are looking at them to see if there are any clues and to build on his profile. We don't want to watch them. Kid, we saw what happened with Vincent and after, when you were made to clean. Kid, I'm so sorry we didn't get to you sooner. You held on for so long through so much. Did you really want him to kill you?"

Reid nodded tearfully. "Not always, I kept as much hope inside as I could. Sometimes, it got bad though. I wanted to die but he never did it. Oh god! You watched him hurt me. I just begged him to stop because it hurt so much. I can't breathe."

"Reid, breathe. C'mon, take deep breaths."

A loud sob filled the room before Reid passed out in Morgan's arms. He caught him and tapped his cheek. "Reid! Reid!"

**Please review**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. This is an action packed chapter and a lot of things come to a head in this one. I will apologise to those who read my other fanfic, Cleansing the Evil, I made a giant mistake and it now requires me to rewrite half the chapter. I don't have time for it tonight. I am really sorry and I will be updating again tomorrow. I hope you can forgive me. Regarding this chapter, I hope you like it and I want to thank you all for your continued feedback. Enjoy and I would love to know what you think.  
**

**P.s - The abc checker on here wasn't working so I used my own one. It has english spellings for some things. Just want to let you know.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're the greatest readers in the world and I love you all. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review  
**

**All mistakes are my own**

_Reid opened his eyes, he opened them and panicked as he felt fear engulf him. He was back in the monster's house, having been dragged back to hell. He was tied to the bed again. He pulled against the ropes but couldn't get them off. He looked to the door and tried to make himself as small as possible against the bed. Surprise came to him as he watched Morgan walk through the door._

_"Morgan! You found me," he said happily. "I don't know where he is. Get these off me, I don't want to stay here."_

_"That isn't going to happen," Morgan said, except it wasn't Morgan's voice, it was the monster's voice. "How would we have all the fun, Spencer? You ran away and I'm going to have to punish you."_

_Reid thrashed violently against his restraints as Morgan climbed on top of him and began to pull down his trousers. "Morgan! NO! Get off me."_

_A hand slammed over his mouth. He cried into the hand as he felt Morgan hurting him._

* * *

He gasped as he woke up, he tried to get up but felt hands pinning him down. He looked up and saw Morgan. "Don't touch me!" he screeched. Morgan immediately brought his hands away and stepped back.

"Kid, it's just me. It's Morgan."

Looking around the room, he realised he was back in Rossi's office. He collapsed against the couch and put his head to his knees. He took some deep breaths. He felt Morgan's hand hover above his shoulder about to touch him. "Don't, Morgan. I don't want anyone touching me right now."

"Okay. You passed out in the bathroom, we brought you back in here till you woke up. Were you having a nightmare?"

Reid nodded but stayed silent.

"It looked like a bad one, do you want to talk about it?"

"You'll get mad," Reid shook his head.

"I won't get mad, I promise. You can't keep this kind of stuff inside. I know how destructive keeping secrets are. I'm here to talk and so is the rest of the team."

"I was back at his house, tied to the bed," Reid said slowly. "You came into the room. I asked you to let me go but when you spoke it was with his voice. You said you had to punish me for running away. You climbed on the bed and you began using me."

Morgan looked at Reid with horror, he closed his eyes. "You know I would die rather than ever hurt you like that. Oh, kid, I'm so sorry."

"I know you would never hurt me. I think I had the nightmare because I walked in on you all watching him hurting me. He liked it when I screamed and he'd get mad when I didn't scream. He was so much more worse when he was drunk. He'd bring me into the living room and he'd shout and hit me. I never did anything to deserve the abuse. He even killed me once."

"What?" Morgan said suddenly. "Reid, what are you walking about?"

"He was drunk and so angry because he hadn't been able to get the guy he wanted. He said it was my fault. How was it my fault?" Reid cried gently. "I had been in a hole for days, only coming out when he wanted to use me. He got angry because I was crying all the time. I was just scared. He always yelled at me and I could never fight back. He pinned me to the floor and put his hands around my throat, he just squeezed. I remember not being able to breathe and then everything going dark. The next thing I knew I was coughing and my chest hurt. My throat hurt for days after that."

"Oh god," Morgan shook his head.

"I hated that he brought me back. In that one moment everything went dark, I thought that it was all going to end. The rapes, the pain, the constant abuse. I thought it was over."

"I don't how you survived everything that you went through and I know you just wanted it to end. I'm happy that he brought you back. We would have never have found you and got you back if you had died. I know I sound selfish but we were lost after you disappeared. We never felt the same and we all struggled to cope. Garcia had a candle in her office. When you were missing, she would light it every day for an hour and she would pray for you. She prayed that you would come back to us. Rossi tried to keep us all from falling deeper into the sadness we felt but we could always see that he missed you telling him weird facts and quizzing him over his books. I drove around to different places, asking people if they had seen you. I called different departments in case they had found something. I couldn't accept the fact you were gone. JJ got upset because Henry would ask where you were and she had to lie to him. Blake visited your mother as a way to deal with losing you. Hotch felt like he had failed to protect you and he struggled the day he had to pack up your desk."

"I didn't realise I meant that much," Reid said.

"Of course you do. You are the glue that holds this team together. We missed you every day."

"I missed you all too."

* * *

Hotch rushed out of his office with the rest of the team, they came into the BAU room. Garcia had called for them to come. Reid stayed in Rossi's office, trying to get some sleep after playing a game with Morgan on his phone.

"Hotch, it's him. He wants to talk to us. I suspended the video call till you all came."

"Garcia, put him on the screen."

Garcia restarted the video call and put it on the screen. The TV had a built in web cam. They all felt anger as Lincoln appeared on the screen. He was in a small room that gave away nothing of his location.

"You took something of mine," Lincoln said angrily at the screen.

"He doesn't belong to you," Morgan raised his voice. "You're a sick piece of shit, you know that."

"Hello, Agent Morgan. Spencer liked to call out your name a lot. He thought you would protect him. Guess you failed there. Our man is a good little whore."

"Shut up," Rossi growled. "He is an innocent man and you took him away from us. We saw what you did to him."

"He is mine to do what I want. You're going to give him back to me. You know he's going to pay for disobeying me. I'll make him hurt in all the right places."

"He's never coming back to you. You'll pay for what you did to him."

"He's already on his way back to me."

"What the hell are you talking about? JJ shouted.

"First rule of magic," Lincoln smirked. "Distract the audience."

Morgan raced out of the room and ran to Rossi's office. He shoved open the door to find the camera in the room smashed and Reid missing.

"HOTCH!"

* * *

Lincoln pulled up to the alley and saw the blue van. He got out of the car and met with his contact. "Did you get him?"

The man opened the door to reveal a disoriented and drugged Reid, tied and gagged on the floor. "He was asleep when I found him. He woke up but I hit him with syringe. He'll only be like this for another half hour. What are you going to do?"

"I'm afraid I can't keep him like I wanted to. He has too much heat around him. His team will never give up. Once last time," Lincoln smiled as he stroked Reid's face. "I'll have one last time and then I'll end it. Such a shame. He's a very good time."

"My payment first, before you get him. I had to rush out of that place. I can't wait to get this janitor outfit off. He didn't make a sound when I shoved him in the trolley bin."

"Of course," Lincoln nodded. "Can you help me get him in the back of the car? Damn agent caught my arm when he shot down the hole."

"Fine, but I want extra."

Lincoln waited for the man to turn around and grab Spencer. He brought out his knife and quickly cut it across the man's throat. He pushed the man down and smiled as he watched the man die. "I already have one liability in custody, I don't need another."

He went to the van and brought Spencer out. He dragged him to the back of the car and laid him down on the back seat. He listened as Spencer let out a few moans. He loved the fact that Spencer had no idea he was even back with him.

"Shhh... Spencer. We'll have some fun in a little while.

* * *

"We have to get him back," Garcia cried. "We can't lose him again."

"We can't get an identification on the guy that smashed the camera. He hid his face in the footage we have before he destroyed it," Hotch said as he tried to stay calm. Losing control wasn't going to help them find Reid. Blake was calming JJ down in another room. "He had on a janitor outfit. He probably swiped one of the ID cards."

Morgan clenched his fist. "We are supposed to keep him safe. He was supposed to stay safe here!"

"Morgan, we need to stay calm. Time is of the essence."

"Wait!" Morgan said suddenly. "Did you find my cellphone in the room?"

"No, why?" Rossi answered.

"Oh my god! We were playing a game on my phone, I gave it to Reid in case he couldn't get to sleep and wanted to play it again. He still has my cellphone."

Garcia rushed to her laptop and quickly began her search. She wiped away tears and gasped when her computer beeped. "He's near the river. The signal isn't moving any more."

Blake rushed into the room. "We have a problem."

"What's wrong?" Hotch asked as he made his way out of the room.

"JJ's water just broke."

* * *

Reid opened his eyes and struggled to focus his mind. He was in pain and his body moving. He looked above him and saw the monster using him. He tugged his hands but saw they had gotten tied to the door handle.

"Stop!" he cried. "STOP!

"Shhh...Spencer," the monster smiled. "I'm gonna enjoy our last time together."

* * *

"We have a small area to search," Hotch said as he brought up the map on his phone. "It's not that big but Garcia couldn't pinpoint the signal."

"I'm gonna kill him," Morgan growled. "Lincoln is dead."

"For once, Morgan, I want you to hurt him," Hotch said. "Don't kill him. That's too easy for him."

"With pleasure."

* * *

Reid cried as he laid in the back seat, he felt blood and just wanted to see his friends again. The monster had dressed him again and left him in the back seat. He pulled against the ropes and screamed in frustration. "LET ME GO!"

The monster climbed into the back seat and cut his ropes. Reid kicked him in the gut, wincing at the pain. He scrambled out of the back seat and tried to run. Strong arms dragged him to the leafy floor. He pinned him down. "Look who started fighting back," he laughed at Reid.

"Let me go, please. You took everything from me, just let me go," Reid pleaded.

The monster grabbed him and began to drag him to the river. "It'll hurt at first but just let the water in."

"NO!"

A gunshot pierced the air and the monster fell away from him. Reid pulled himself away from him and looked back to see Hotch, Morgan and Rossi racing to him. Morgan began to attack and hit the monster, he squeezed the bullet wound. "That is nothing compared to what I'm going to do to you!"

* * *

Hotch and Rossi came over and brought Reid away from Lincoln. Hotch picked him up and brought him far away.

"Rossi, go back and make sure Morgan doesn't kill him. I don't want him dead yet. He has to pay."

Rossi looked at Reid before running back in Morgan's direction. Reid began hyperventilating and was struggling to stay calm. Hotch cradled Reid's face. "Spencer Reid, you look at me and you calm down."

Reid looked at him with wide eyes. "Hotch, you found me," he cried.

Hotch reached into the inside of Reid's jacket and found the cellphone. "This is how we found you. Did you put it there?"

"I was tired and I didn't want to lose it," Reid said tearfully. Hotch realised he had blood on his hands.

"Reid, are you-" Hotch began to ask before he looked down and saw all the blood down Reid's trousers. "Oh no. No, no, no."

"I woke up and he was using me," Reid broke down. Hotch brought him into a hug and held him. He didn't say anything as he rocked Reid. He had always seen him like a son. He came away from the hug and got to his feet. He lifted Reid into his arms and made his way to the SUV. He went to put Reid in the back seat

"NO! Not the back seat!"

Hotch stepped away. "Okay, I'll put you in the front seat."

He opened the passenger door and put Reid on the seat. He went to the back of the SUV and grabbed some water and blankets. Covering him with the blanket, he watched Reid begin to have trouble staying awake.

"Reid, hey. Stay awake."

Reid blinked and sat up straighter. Hotch cracked open the lid of the water bottle and held to Reid's lips. "Drink up."

Taking small sips, Reid felt calmer. He turned to Hotch. "Thank you. He was going to kill me. He was going to drown me. Hotch, I want to go home."

"We have to go to the hospital first. You're bleeding and you need treatment. I want you to focus on something good as we make our way there."

"I can't think of anything good, I just keep feeling him on top of me."

"Okay, think about this. JJ went into labour and you're going to meet little Spencer soon. You're going to become an Uncle again."

"Really?" he said before letting out a small sob. "Okay, I'll focus on that. Can we go? I don't wanna be here any more."

**Please review**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I just want to thank you for your continued support. This is long but not as long as normal. I'm in a bad mood thanks to my doctor and my writing is a bit weird today. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I'd love feedback from you all. I really enjoyed writing a moment in this chapter when it came to JJ and Reid.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews. I can't ever stop thanking you. You are all wonderful, amazing people. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid laid in the hospital bed, he felt numb after the doctor had performed a rape exam on him. It'd been a few hours since he had arrived. He had asked for no-one on his team to be present for the exam. He closed his eyes and brought the cover over his head, he felt comforted as he felt as if the world was now blocked off. He cried as he remembered waking up in the back of the car to the pain and humiliation. The hungry eyes of his abuser haunted him, the monster had laid down on him after he had finished. He froze as he heard the door open, a hand pulled down the cover. He looked up to see Morgan staring down at him. "Hey, kid."

"H-Hey Morgan," he said shakily. He looked down and saw a brace on Morgan's hand. "What happened?"

"Hurt my hand beating Lincoln, it's not too bad. I just have to keep this on for a few weeks. It was worth it. He's in hospital."

"He's here!" Reid panicked.

"No," Morgan said quickly. "He's in another hospital where he'll be under constant guard and trust me, that dick ain't going anywhere after what I did to him. How are you doing? Hotch told me what happened."

"I don't how I feel. One minute, I just want to curl up and pretend the world isn't out there. The next minute, I want to cry and never stop. I woke up and he was raping me. I begged him to stop but he never did. He just told me to enjoy it because he was enjoying it. He was going to kill me."

"He didn't though. We got you back in time."

"I don't remember being taken from Rossi's office. I just remember sounds and then waking up in the back seat. Morgan, I was so scared. I had just gotten back to you all, I didn't want to leave you all. How am I supposed to get my life back? I can't. I'll never forget this past year and everything he made me do. He degraded me and treated me like I was his to just use. He made me pleasure him and made me re-enact his dirty films. Why did he take me?" Reid said despondently. He sat up slowly and brushed his hands through his short hair.

"You were his type of target and Brandon helped him find you. Brandon has helped him find others. We'll help you get your life back, you can get it back but I want you to take it slow. You have gone through a traumatic experience and you need time to recover. I know he made you do horrible things and I'm not going to say that I understand what you went through because I don't. Buford was different. We won't let this bring your life to a halt. With a lot of time, support and rest, you'll get your life back."

Reid wiped his eyes and took a shaky breath. "How's JJ?"

"She's fine and now has a healthy baby boy. Little Spencer arrived quite quickly," Morgan smiled. "Quicker than Henry. JJ and Will want you to come see the baby when you feel well enough."

"How long do I have to stay here?"

"A few more hours. You can come home with one of us. The doctor wants you to rest and take it easy. It might hurt to walk for the next few days."

"I'm used to it," Reid whispered. Morgan sat on the edge of the bed.

"Kid, he'll pay for what he did to you. He's going to either rot in jail or fry."

"Jail won't hurt him. It'll be fun for him. He knows how to destroy the weak."

* * *

Reid felt pain with each step he took. Morgan helped him make his way to JJ's room. He had washed himself repeatedly before coming to see her. He stopped and leaned against the wall. "Reid, you okay?"

"What happened to calling me kid?"

"I call you Reid when I worry. What's wrong?"

"It just hurts more than I thought," Reid admitted. "He made the most of his session with me. Bastard was rough."

"Wait here," Morgan said before walking down the corridor. He spoke to a nurse who passed him a wheelchair. He came back to Reid. "Sit down. I know it might hurt but it'll be worse for you to walk."

Reid lowered himself into the chair but let out a sigh of relief. Morgan used his good hand to push the wheelchair. They came to JJ's room and knocked. He smiled as he saw JJ on the bed with her baby in her arms. JJ looked up and a look of relief came across her face. "Spence, you're okay."

"I'm fine. How about you? I heard things went faster than you expected.

"It was a quick birth. It surprised me because Henry took a while. Come closer to the bed."

Morgan wheeled the chair next to the bed. "I'm going to go get something for you to eat and drink, kid. Keep JJ company while I do."

"Okay," Reid nodded before turning back to look at the baby. JJ and Morgan looked at each, JJ thanking Morgan for the alone time with Reid. Morgan left the room.

JJ turned her body around and sat closer to Reid. She brought the baby down so he could see him better.

"JJ, he's beautiful. Congratulations," Reid said as he looked at the baby.

"I think Spencer is going to love his Uncle Spence, I want you as his godfather too. I know you will take care of Henry and him if anything happened to us. Do you want to hold him?"

Reid looked at the baby before shaking his head. "I don't think that is a good idea."

"Why?" she frowned.

"He's innocent and I don't want him tainted by everything I've gone through. I don't want evil touching him."

"Oh, Spence," she said sadly. "You're not evil and you won't taint him with any evil. I think it's a good idea if you hold him. I trust you and I think that this is good for you. I'm right here to help."

He held his arms out nervously and she placed little Spencer in them. Reid brought the baby closer to him so he was cradling him. JJ watched as the man who had disappeared for a year from their lives, grinned with joy. She saw her baby's eyes open and stare at Spence.

"Hi, Spencer. I'm your Uncle Spence, you're named after me. You can call me Uncle Reid though when you're older so you don't get confused. It's so nice to meet you," Reid said before a tear came down his cheek and he took a shaky breath. "I'm so glad my family found me so I could meet you. I didn't even know your mommy was pregnant till I saw her after so long away. You'll have a good life, Spencer. I'm going to make sure of that. No-one will ever hurt your big brother or you as long as I breathe. You got your mommy's eyes."

JJ wiped away her own tears as she watched Reid with her son. She was happy that the team had found him. She remembered Henry's birth and his visit after coming back from Vegas. She remembered the way he had smiled at Henry. All through her second pregnancy, she had imagined all of her family, the team, in her room after the birth but Reid was never there. There was just an empty space where she hoped he'd be. He was back now and she couldn't stop thanking God for bringing him back to them.

"Reid, I'm sorry about what-" JJ began to say before Reid cut her off.

"Not around the baby," he shook his head and spoke gently. "I'm happy and I don't want him to hear. Later, JJ. I want to surround him with good. Henry and Spencer will never hear that monster's name."

JJ nodded. He looked back down to the baby, using one of his fingers to move the blanket away slightly. Little Spencer wrapped his little hand around Reid's finger before letting out a small yawn. Reid let out a small laugh. "Welcome to the family."

* * *

Garcia sat in the living room of Morgan's house, she looked down at the photo of Reid and the baby that JJ had taken at the hospital. It was a photo that she would never lose. She had put Reid to bed and he was now asleep. Morgan came and sat down next to her. "You okay?"

"It's so wonderful to have this photo. A week ago, I thought I'd never see a photo like this. Morgan, he's not going to get over this quickly," Garcia said before her eyes teared up. "That bastard violated him in the car. He was all alone and he must have been so scared. Is it true? Did he use a phone to record it?"

"He did," Morgan nodded. "We have it with all the evidence."

Garcia clenched her fist. "Over the last year, he's been subjected to that torture and violation. Each time, scared and alone. Oh, god."

"Come here."

Morgan put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "We'll get him better. It will take time but we can help him get back his life."

* * *

_The monster got drunk again. Reid sat on the recliner as he heard him get another beer. He wasn't gagged but he didn't speak. He stayed still as the monster sat next to him. A hand gripped his hair and he felt wet lips kiss sloppily down his neck. He let out an involuntary noise._

_"Youuu don't likeee that," the monster slurred. Reid didn't answer. He looked straight ahead. If he didn't do anything, he couldn't get punished._

_"I want some fun," the monster laughed before downing the beer. He grabbed Reid and began to dragging him up the stairs. Reid panicked as he realised what room he was going to. He struggled._

_"PLEASE! NO!" he begged quickly. "I didn't do anything wrong. Please!"_

_Reid grunted as he got thrown into the room with the tools. The door got locked as the monster came into the room. He stumbled over to a draw and pulled out a leather strap. "First this and then we'll play with the others toys."_

_Reid wheezed as the leather strap came around his throat. He struggled to breathe as the monster tightened it and then released it over and over. The monster loved using the strap to choke him, keeping him in an almost constant state of asphyxiation. They spent ten minutes like that before he got released. Reid focused on breathing, he didn't see the crowbar. He was quickly pinned to the floor, his arms forced above his head. The monster brought the crowbar down and smashed it into Reid's arm._

_"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Reid screamed as he felt it break._

* * *

Reid jolted awake in his bed to see Garcia next to him. She held his face in her hands. "It's okay."

"I'm not okay," he shook his head before leaning against her.

He was no-where near okay.

**Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm so happy that you all like the JJ, Reid and baby scene in the last chapter. I loved writing it and I've done a nice bit at the end between Reid and Henry. I see JJ, Henry and the baby as a pure beacon of innocence and Reid needs to stay around that after losing his own. Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think, I love to hear your views.  
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** Thank you for the amazing reviews, you're brilliant and I just want to shower you with virtual gifts. Thank you!  
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**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch and Rossi stood outside the hospital room where Lincoln Peters was recovering. Rossi had practically had to drag Morgan away from Lincoln.

"You ready to do this?" Rossi asked. "He's going to try to push us to do something we'll regret. We can't give in to that, Hotch. He kidnapped and abused Reid, I don't want you to go in there if you can't handle it."

"I can handle it," Hotch said defiantly. "I need to talk to him. He kept Reid for a reason. He could have killed him at any time over the last year, Brandon didn't need Reid to stay alive. I want to know why he kept him alive."

Rossi nodded and opened the door. They walked in to see Lincoln in the bed, his face swollen with bruises and cuts. He looked up at them with the one eye that wasn't swollen shut. Morgan had broken four of Lincoln's ribs and his arms. Deep down, Hotch really wanted to give Morgan a raise.

"Hello, Agent Hotchner. Agent Rossi."

"How are the ribs?" Hotch said.

"They'll heal, unlike Spencer. How is the little bitch?"

"Spencer will heal and he is fine. He'll enjoy watching you sit in the chair to fry after the trial. We have all the evidence we need on you. You'll pay for what you did to him. You'll pay for what you did to all those men. I want an answer to a question. You kept Spencer alive for a reason. It doesn't match how you target your victims. Why did you keep him alive?"

"I had fully intended to kill him after having him in my house. Brandon gave him to me to do what I want. He didn't care. Were you aware of Spencer's status before I kidnapped him?"

"What do you mean about his status?"

"I'll always be Spencer's first," Lincoln smirked through swollen lips. "He begged me not to do it the first time. I figured it out and made him tell me after. He'd never been with anyone before. Man or woman. I marked him as mine that first night. He screamed and tried to fight the first time. When he screamed and fought, they were my favourite times. I hated when he would just lay there and stare at the ceiling. He went somewhere that I couldn't get him."

Hotch shook with anger as he looked at Lincoln. Rossi stepped forward to give Hotch time to calm down and digest what he had just been told.

"Why make the others hurt Spencer?" Rossi demanded.

"To make them have a memory they would never forget. To make Spencer realise that no matter who came after me, I'd always be his first. You know the funny thing. I think one of the men really enjoyed. Enjoyed it a little too much. I killed him the fastest. His name was Oliver Holmes. He got a little rougher than the others. The other men were gentle and cried as they did it. Oliver didn't. He even made our boy bleed. I couldn't have any competition. He was another me in the making."

"Why were you going to kill Spencer? You had him and you could have run with him. Instead, you raped him one last time and went to drown him."

"I didn't want to," Lincoln sighed, heaving his shoulders up. "It's because of you I needed to get rid of him. He carried too much heat with him. I didn't know the son of a bitch hid the cellphone. Oh, you should have seen him when I was giving him what he enjoyed. He screamed, cried and the best moment, that was when he woke up for the rest of the fun. His eyes are just so expressive when he's afraid."

Hotch walked next to the bed. He looked into Lincoln's eyes. "When they put you in the chair, I'll be on the other side of that glass with Spencer. He'll smile when you die. He'll smile and he will know that he won. He beat you, Lincoln. He's going to walk through the rest of his life, out in the world, knowing that he made it through all the pain. You can be assured that he will never go through pain again as long as we stand with him."

"He may walk through the rest of his life, Agent Hotchner, but make no mistake, he will never forget me. He'll scream in his nightmares and he'll remember every time I took him to my bed and used him as my personal bitch. The past is always there, it never goes away."

* * *

Reid stared at his meal and kept his hands on his lap. The meal looked delicious and he wanted to eat it but he couldn't shake away the idea of the monster coming and shoving his face in it. Blake came into the room and sat across from him. She noticed that he was so deep in thought, she doubted he knew she had even come into the room.

"Spencer, are you there?"

He snapped out of his daze and looked at her. "Oh, hello."

"Why aren't you eating your food?"

"I'm not hungry," he lied.

"I know you are hungry," Blake sighed. "No-one is going to make you do something you don't want to do. Your food is your food and no-one will take it away."

"I'm just not used to this. You have to understand. I spent a year living off mushy messes of potato and porridge. I keep thinking someone will make me do something for it. He made me pleasure him so I could eat. He used to put things in my food too."

"Like what?"

"It wasn't all the time," Reid said quietly. "Only when he thought I was thinking about trying to get away. He put muscle relaxants in my food, strong ones. I remember eating and then falling against the table. He picked me up and did things. I wasn't able to move the entire time. Another time, I think he put LSD in my water. Nothing made sense and he truly looked like a monster that day. It was ten time worse with the LSD."

Blake made her way around the table. She picked up the fork. "May I?"

Reid nodded. She put some chicken on the fork and ate a small piece. She grabbed a new fork and gave it to him. "See, nothing is in there. I'll sit across from you if you want. No-one will make you do anything for food again. You have food, when you want to."

Taking the fork, he began to eat slowly. Blake sat across from him and smiled gently. It was going to be a long journey for Reid. One they would all take with him.

* * *

Hotch walked into Morgan's house to find Garcia and Reid watching Doctor Who together. He didn't disturb them, he made his way into kitchen where he found Morgan drinking a coffee. "Hello, Morgan."

"Hey, Hotch. Is the son of a bitch in pain?"

"Remind me not to get on your bad side," Hotch said. "I spoke with him. We know why he kept Reid."

"Why?"

"Morgan, Reid was a virgin when he got kidnapped according to Lincoln. He said that Reid told him. He had planned to kill Reid but that's the reason he kept him alive. He used the others to make Reid realise that he would always be his first."

Hotch jumped as Morgan violently threw his cup of coffee into the sink, shattering it into pieces. "Son of a bitch!"

Knowing there was no use trying to calm Morgan down, he stayed back.

"That isn't true. I mean, Reid has known women."

"You know how sensitive Reid is when it comes to contact with other people. We don't much about his personal life. We need to talk to him."

Morgan walked past Hotch and into the living room. He picked up the control and paused the television. "Kid, we need to talk."

"What about?" Reid said nervously.

"Hotch spoke with Lincoln at the hospital. Is is true? Did you ever have sex before he took you? With woman or men. Were you a virgin?"

"Reid, what is he talking about?" Garcia asked.

"He was lying," Reid said quickly.

"Don't lie to us, kid."

They watched as he brought his knees to his chest and put his head on them. That answered their question. He came out of his hunched place and stood up.

"Yes, I was a virgin. I thought it would stop him. Like a stupid idiot, I told him. None of you know what it is like!" he yelled as he lost control and began to cry. "You have no idea what it is like to wake up every day, away from your home and your family, to wake up and realise that he's coming for you but you don't know when. I thought it was over when you got me back. He got me again. He can always catch me."

"Sweetie, please calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down, Garcia! I woke up in the back of that car and I screamed for him to stop. I screamed for help and I cried because yet again, I became nothing but his whore again. You all worked with Brandon for over ten months. You replaced me with a monster. I'm scared to eat, to drink and to sleep. I wake up expecting him there next to me. I'll talk about things when I want to. Not when you demand me to!"

Reid walked as quickly he could past them, he grabbed the banister and felt pain as he went up the stairs. They heard a door slam moments later.

* * *

Curled up in the bathtub, he laid on his side and let the tears fall.

_"Oh, Spencer," the monster said in ecstasy and he finished. Reid cried into the gag and wished he was somewhere else. He felt so much pain. The monster rolled off him and went to clean himself off. Reid struggled violently against the restraints. He stilled when he felt hands over his body, his restraints got removed. He tried to scramble from the bed but he got dragged back and turned over._

_"That was wonderful. I certainly had a good time. I knew you were good in bed. Bet the others thought so too."_

_Reid avoided his eye. "Spencer, you've had others. Haven't you?"_

_The monster removed his gag. "Please, let me go. Hnnn..you took what you wanted. Just let me go."_

_"You're were a virgin," the monster gasped._

_"No, I wasn't!" Reid panicked before he tried to get away. He cried as the monster pinned him down._

_"Tell me the truth or I'll do it again."_

_He stayed silent making the man angry. He watched the man prepare again._

_"I was a virgin," Reid gasped quickly before breaking down. "Let me go! I won't come back and I won't tell anyone. I have a family. Please, I want to go home."_

_"You're never seeing your family or your home again."_

He opened his eyes and came back to the present. He began to rock back and forth.

* * *

Garcia came into the bathroom, half an hour later. She had wanted to give him space after he had run upstairs. She found him asleep in the bathtub. "Oh, Reid."

* * *

Reid sat in his bed, reading a book. He looked up when he saw his door open. He got a surprise when Henry came into the room with a small present in his hand. "Hi, Henry," he smiled gently. "What are you doing here?"

Henry walked over to the bed and jumped on it. He handed the wrapped present to Reid. "Open it."

Reid took the present and opened it slowly. He smiled tearfully as he brought out a small key ring, shaped like a book. He turned it over to find a message.

_Happy Birthday, Uncle Spence._

_You're the best Uncle in the world._

_Love Henry_

"You missed your birthday, Uncle Spence," Henry said sadly. "Mommy and me got it, for when you came home. I know mommy is lying about you."

"Come here," Reid said. Henry climbed up and sat under his godfather's arm. "I wasn't undercover but I don't want you to know what happened. I just want you to know this. I missed you every single day I was away. I missed you so much. Uncle Spence is very sad because he was away for so long. I don't want you to know everything because I want you to have good memories."

"Don't be sad, Uncle Spence. Please."

Reid felt himself begin to cry, he took a deep breath and looked at his godson. "I'm trying not to feel sad. Seeing you again, has made me very happy. So happy that these are tears of joy. Henry, I promise you that I will keep you safe. I'll keep you both safe. Little Spencer and you. For as long as you live, I'll be there to keep you safe."

Henry wrapped his arms around his godfather's neck and hugged him. "I'll protect you too, Uncle Spence."

Reid felt tears fall as he heard his Henry's words. He hugged him back. Henry came away and sat against Reid again. "Can I stay for a while?"

"Of course you can," Reid nodded. "Want to watch cartoons?"

"Okay," Henry nodded before grabbing the remote. Reid turned on the television and found some cartoons. They watched and laughed when Scooby doo saw the ghost and ran. It was moments like these that Reid knew, had kept him alive. Good memories with his family.

**Please review**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I am really sorry for not updating yesterday but I wasn't well and I had a bit of a temperature. I feel better now and I've done this for you today. I'm really sorry and I hope you continue to review. I hope this chapter is good for you all. I'm sorry that I didn't update yesterday. I hope you can all forgive me.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews. I can't ever stop thanking you. You are all brilliant readers. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two days later**

Sitting at the window, Reid watched as Morgan's neighbours went about their daily business. He saw a father picking up his son and hugging him. Hotch walked into the room and put Reid's medication on the table with some water. "Hotch, does my dad know I went missing?"

"He does but we haven't told him that we found you. He'll want to see you and we aren't sure if you are ready for that yet."

"He only seems to give a damn when something happens. I look around outside and it feels so strange to do so. I've just seen a forest for the last year. My only human contact being the monster, Brandon and the others. All of who, at some point, violated me. I'm not used to this, to being able to do what I want or say what I want. Any time that I said something he didn't like, he'd really let me have it. He made me sleep in his bed with him a few times. Strapped me down and laid on top of me all night."

Hotch came and sat on the window sill. He looked over to Reid. "Does talking about it help?"

"It does," Reid nodded. "Hotch, I don't know how to be me anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"After months, I lost my identity. I held on and I kept some of who I am but not all of myself. I did things to make him happy so he wouldn't beat me. Look, I told the doctor not to tell you something. I didn't want you to see."

"Reid, I need to know."

Turning around, he lifted up his shirt to show his back. Hotch shuffled forward and touched Reid's back. He brought his hand away when Reid tensed up. "Why didn't you want me to know about these?"

"I was afraid. I already looked weaker in all your eyes, this would have just added to that."

Reid brought down his shirt and turned around, he leaned against the window frame again. "I asked the doctor not to tell you. It's the reason I get changed alone. He used to beat me with a belt and Brandon used to hit me with a tv aerial just because I fell down. The monster broke my arm with a crowbar during one session with his tools. Brandon broke the other arm. He broke my leg with a sledge hammer . He didn't care. He just went on with what he liked. Beat me and then used me. Hotch, I went through so pain and I'm struggling. They are both still alive and I'm afraid."

Hotch came forward and brought his arms around Reid. "They may still be alive but they can't hurt you. I'm so sorry that we didn't see what Brandon was sooner. It makes my skin crawl knowing he was so close to us all, so close to Jack and Henry."

"When Brandon came once a month, I felt so scared. At least with the monster, I knew what to expect. With Brandon, he liked to do different things. I never saw his face, that made everything worse. I only had a voice. He'd drug me and make me more docile. Sometimes, he'd put a dog lead on me and take me for a walk outside. He would also make me drink from a bowl like an animal. He did horrible things. When I heard his voice that night he came to the house, I just had to hit him."

"You protected yourself and you revealed his evil."

"Do you think I could see my mom soon?"

"I think we should give it some more time. You need to get used to doing things again. I visited your mother and she doesn't react well when she can tell things are seriously wrong. I think you should take a little more time."

"She's going to want to know what happened. She always senses when something is wrong. How can I tell her? Hey, mom. I got brutalised and violated for a year while the rest of the world went on as normal," Reid said sarcastically. "I got hurt and the world never heard me scream."

Hotch stayed silent as he watched Reid shake and close his eyes. "Hotch, I don't know how to do this. I can't forget and the memories never stop. He took my innocence and he tore me apart. I screamed and he laughed, he got off on it. I missed a year of my life and I'll never get it back. Call my dad, he at least deserves to know that I'm not dead."

* * *

Morgan and Rossi sat at table, they were going through the evidence. Rossi, who usually handled everything well, had thrown up in the bin once. Morgan had stabbed his pen into the table out of anger.

They were now watching the footage from the last time Lincoln had got hold of Reid. The time in the car.

Morgan gritted his teeth as he watched Lincoln begin to use Reid in the back of the car. Part of Morgan had wished Reid had stayed unconscious through it all. After a few minutes, a small groan came from the television as Reid woke up.

_"STOP! STOP!"_

_"Shhh...Spencer. I'm gonna enjoy our last time together."_

_"NOOOOO!" Reid screeched as Lincoln went faster._ They watched as he cried and pulled against the rope around his wrists.

_"You always enjoy it, you little slut," Lincoln laughed before slapping Reid across the face._ Morgan watched his best friend scream and plea.

_"MORGAN! HELP ME!" he sobbed hysterically_. _"HOTCH! ANYONE! MAKE HIM STOP!"_

_Lincoln made a face as he finished a few minutes later. Reid cringed and whimpered as the man collapsed on top of him. Lincoln kissed down his neck and ran his hands down his body._

_"I'm going to miss those sounds," Lincoln moaned. He got off Reid and pulled the young man's trousers up. He got out of the car while holding a cigarette._

"I'm so sorry, kid," Morgan shook his head.

_"Help!" Reid screamed. "LET ME GO! AHHHHHH!"_

* * *

Reid awoke to hear voices shouting downstairs, he got out of bed and slowly made his way to the top of the stairs.

"Why can't I see him? He's my son."

He tensed up when he heard his father's voice.

"I just don't think it is a good idea, Mr Reid. He's gone through a horrible time and I don't want to risk his state of mind."

"He's been gone for a whole year," William Reid argued. "You won't tell me what happened to him or what he has gone through. I want to see my son. I have a right."

"I don't think you should talk about your rights as a father," Hotch argued.

"Excuse me," William said.

"You only care about him when something happens to him. A good father would stay around and support his son. We are his family. We took over Diana's care when he got taken and we have always been there for him. He wanted you to know he was safe but he didn't want you to come here."

"You weren't there for him when got taken. Don't act all high and mighty. You told me a year ago that you'd find my son. You didn't."

"Stop it," Reid snapped as he came down the stairs slowly. William looked at him carefully. Reid winced as he made the last step down.

"Spencer, what happened to you?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came to see you, Spencer. I got the first flight here after Agent Hotchner called me. You look so different. I've missed you."

"I look different because I got subjected to hell," Reid said angrily. "You missed me? You never spoke to me before I got taken."

"Reid," Hotch said. "Go back to bed and rest. I'll deal with this."

"You'll deal with nothing. I have a right to speak with my son. Spencer, things have never been easy between us. After the Riley incident being brought back to light, it made things more difficult. I have missed you and the day they told me you were missing, my world fell apart."

"What did you do to help find me?" Reid said stoically.

"I got promised by Agent Hotchner that he would find you. He never did though till now."

"My friends looked for me. Morgan drove around, he asked questions, he checked places where my body may have gotten dumped and he called stations around the country. My entire team looked for me. Did you do anything? Did you even visit mom?"

"Spencer, you have to understand-" William tried to say.

"NO!" Reid shouted. "I don't have to understand anything! I thought you deserved to know that I wasn't dead, I didn't want you here. You want to know what happened to me?"

"Reid, don't."

Reid ignored Hotch and stared at his father. "I was held against my will by a monster. He beat me, starved me and raped me. For a year, I was his whore. He forced me to do things and I felt so much pain. He forced other men on me. I did things to survive that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I went through that and I'll tell you something. I didn't think of you once. I thought about mom and worried about who was taking care of her. I thought about my team and how much I missed them. I missed my godson all that time. You should have done something, you selfish bastard. I don't want to see you. Ever again! My team looked after my mother, you ignored her. You left your schizophrenic wife all those years ago, I'm sure it isn't hard to walk away from your whore son."

"You heard him," Hotch said to William. "He doesn't want you here."

William turned around and left the house, slamming the door behind him. Hotch looked to Reid and saw him shaking and on the verge of breaking down. He walked over and Reid leaned against him as he put an arm around him. He guided him back up the stairs and back to the bedroom. He put Reid back to bed and carefully put the covers back over him. "You aren't a whore, Reid. Don't ever think that."

"What else am I supposed to be?" Reid whispered before bringing the cover over his head. It broke Hotch's heart as he heard small sobs come from beneath it.

* * *

JJ rocked her baby son in her arms, she stared at him and couldn't get the moment that Reid had met him out of her mind. She felt split between two responsibilities. She wanted to spend time with Spence and help him during his recovery but she also needed and wanted to spend time with her baby and bond with him. She loved her new baby unconditionally. Little Spencer moved in her arms, she giggled as she watched him yawn and change place in her arms. He woke up and stared at her.

"Hi, there," she laughed gently. "How's my little boy?"

* * *

_Reid laid tied on the bed, the monster had brought another man to hurt him. Vincent was the last man to use him, this man, he knew was the next. Oliver climbed on top as the monster pointed the gun. All three of them froze as they heard a car come up to the house. The gun got placed to his forehead before he could call for help._

_"Little warning, Spencer. You call for help, I'll kill the person outside, kill oliver and I'll make you bathe in their blood. I'll be back in a minute. Either of you try anything and I'll make you regret it."_

_The monster walked out of the room, leaving the two alone._

_"Oliver, listen to me. If you untie me, we got a chance to get out of here. He can't take two of us. Please, this is our only chance."_

_Reid felt his trousers disappear. He struggled. "No! What are you doing?" he panicked._

_A hand clamped over his mouth and he screamed into it._

* * *

He opened his eyes and leaned over his bed. He gagged and vomited on the floor, he coughed and slowly sat up. Making his way out of the bed, he slowly went to the bathroom. He grabbed a spray bottle of cleaner he found and lots of tissues. A whimper escaped his lips as he lowered himself to the floor. Reid grabbed a nearby bin and began to clean it up. He wiped tears with the back of hand. Oliver had actually want to hurt him. The monster had walked in and found Oliver using him. He froze as the door opened.

"Spencer, are you okay?"

He turned around to see Will looking down at him. Will come and knelt beside him. "Did you get sick?"

"I'm sorry. I just had a nightmare and it happened. I'm cleaning it up," Reid said before he wiped up some sick and put it in the bin. Will stopped him from grabbing some tissue.

"I can do that. Don't apologise for being sick. I just came up to tell you that the food is ready. JJ wanted me to come over for a while and see how you were doing. She wants to be here but little Spencer likes his mommy a lot. Why did you apologise for being sick?"

"He got mad when I got sick."

"No-one will get mad here. It's nice to see you again, Spencer. We missed you a lot. JJ wasn't the same over the last year. The moment we found out we were having a boy, she knew she was naming him Spencer."

"I missed you all too," Reid said before bringing his shaking hands up to his face. Will rubbed Reid's shoulder.

"Things will get better, Spencer. Why don't we go and get you some food? Garcia is here and she has cupcakes."

**Please review**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. You thought things were going to go all peaceful. Would I be me if I did that? I'm throwing you all curveball here in this chapter and I hope you like it. I can't help apologising for not updating, even for just missing one update. I know what it is like to see the notification saying another chapter is up for the story you are reading and I like to give that to you all everyday. I am super nervous about this chapter and I would love to know what you think.  
**

** Thank you for the amazing reviews, you're just brilliant and I love you all to bits. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**The next day**

"Please tell me that you are joking!" Morgan said angrily. "Where the hell is he?"

"We aren't sure," Hotch said before slamming down a file. "They were both in custody, this was over. Dammit!"

"He faked having a seizure. He got hold of some tablets, the officers suspect from another prisoner. He killed the driver of the police van on the way to the hospital and his guard got knocked out. That was about four hours ago. We have CCTV footage of him running from the van," Blake explained as she came into the room.

"Reid doesn't know yet," Garcia shook her head. "Will knows and he is looking after him for a while. We need to tell him."

"No, we don't," Morgan shook his head. "He thinks this is over. You didn't watch that footage of him in the back of the car with Lincoln. He was so scared and he screamed for it to stop. He screamed and cried for us to come and save him."

"If we don't tell him and Brandon gets to him, he has no warning and he'll be unprepared. We don't know if Brandon will even try to capture Reid again. He has two choices. He'll run and get out of the country or come for Reid for personal reasons," Hotch sighed. "Reid said that Brandon made him do horrible things, worse than Lincoln sometimes."

"Is Lincoln still secure?" Rossi asked.

"He's still secure," Morgan nodded.

* * *

Will looked up from his paper as he heard a creak from the kitchen. "Spencer?"

Grabbing his gun, he made his way out of the living room with his gun ready. He brought it up and looked around the corner. He slowly made his way forward.

"Argh!" Will grunted as something smacked into the back of his head. He fell to the floor, his gun falling from his hand.

* * *

Reid felt discomfort as he felt a hand running through his hair. He opened his eyes, they widened as they took in the man above him. He tried to scramble out of the bed but the man pulled him back on it. The cold edge of the knife touched his throat and he shivered with fear.

"You're in prison," Reid whimpered.

"Escaped on the way to the hospital," Brandon laughed. "I'm good at being an agent, better at being a criminal. Now, this is how things are going to go. I have three very special people in my car. Special to little Henry. JJ isn't exactly as quick as she was after having another baby and Will was an easy knockout."

"What have you done?!"

"I have Will, JJ and your precious new godson in my car. You're coming with me without a fight. You fight me and I'll kill little Spencer first and then give him to his mother."

"Please, don't," Reid said. "I'll come, I won't fight. Just leave them here. I won't fight you."

"They will stay with us until I'm done."

Reid yelped as he got pulled up from the bed, the knife stayed at his throat as he got led out of the house and to the car. He heard the phone in the house begin to ring. "That's probably your team warning you about me," Brandon laughed.

He cried out as he got slammed into the trunk of the car. His hands got forced behind his back and tied with a belt. Brandon shoved him in the backseat. He saw his new godson asleep in a baby seat, completely unaware of what was going on.

"Brandon, please," Reid pleaded through tears. "Let them go. They have nothing to do with this. I'll do anything. I won't fight and I'll go with you. What did you do to Henry?"

"He wasn't at the house," Brandon shrugged.

"Brandon, I'm begging you!" Reid cried.

"You should now that begging doesn't mean anything to me."

* * *

Morgan, Rossi and Hotch raced to the house, they got out of the car and surrounded the house. They all immediately saw the back door wide open. Hotch ran in. "Spencer! Will!"

Rossi stopped when found note on the table with Will's badge.

_Tell Henry that Spencer lost him his family_

Immediately pulling out his phone, he dialled JJ's house. No-one answered. He tried again.

"JJ, please answer."

Morgan rushed back into the room. "They're both gone! Rossi, what's wrong?"

Rossi slammed his phone shut. "JJ isn't answering her phone."

* * *

Brandon pulled into a forest area, Reid instantly recognised that it was the same forest area that Lincoln had brought him to. Spencer watched him turn around and look at him. "I have to finish Lincoln's piss poor job."

Reid took one last look at his godson as Brandon got out of the car. He leaned over. "I'm so sorry."

The door opened and he got ripped from the backseat.

* * *

"The baby is gone and so is JJ," Rossi said as he came out of the nursery of JJ's house. Henry was safe at a sleepover. "Jesus, he took them all."

"He's using them against Reid," Morgan fumed. "Reid would never risk them getting hurt for something he did."

* * *

They both heard Reid screaming for help from outside of the trunk. It stopped abruptly causing them both to double their efforts to escape. Will kept using the nail that had rolled around the trunk since he woken up to get through the tape around his wrists. He managed to cut through the tape and ripped the tape from his lips. He took off the tape over JJ's mouth.

"Will, hurry up. I can't hear Spence anymore."

"I know," he said as he quickly unwrapped the tape from around her wrists. They both froze when they heard their baby begin to cry. "Oh, god. He has the baby!"

JJ and Will heard someone approach the trunk.

"Get ready," he whispered as they prepared to fight Brandon. The trunk unlocked and opened. JJ and Will both kicked him in the stomach. Will jumped out of the trunk and began to hit Brandon. He took a punch to the ribs knocking him off the man. JJ brought a tyre jack up from the trunk and smacked Brandon in the back of the head. "That's for taking us."

She brought the jack down again and hit him in the private area. "That's for Spencer."

Brandon laid on the ground, unconscious. Will looked up and saw Reid's body motionless on the forest floor. "Spencer!"

Will raced over and found Reid's body, wet and still. "Spencer! Oh god! No!

He laid him on his back and began CPR. He pressed down and watched Reid's body jerk with the compressions. He breathed oxygen into his mouth and continued two more times, repeating the process. "Come on, Spencer. Breathe."

"Will!" JJ called as she held her baby in her arms.

"Don't you dare leave my boys without a godfather," Will said as he pressed down on Reid's chest. He jumped back as Reid's body jerk, Reid coughed and a fountain of water spewed out. Will rolled him on his side and patted his back. JJ came over and knelt with little Spencer in her arms.

"Is he okay?" she panicked.

"He's breathing now. Son of a bitch drowned him. Is the baby okay?"

"He's fine," she nodded. "He hasn't been harmed. Did he do anything to Spence? Did he-?"

Will checked Reid. "He didn't rape him. We need to get him to the hospital. He's unconscious and I'm pretty sure I've got small concussion. What about you?"

JJ touched her bloody forehead. "Just a cut and a bad headache. I'll see if Brandon has a phone."

* * *

Hotch pulled up with the rest of the team, they turned the corner to see Reid being loaded into an ambulance. Morgan raced over to him while Hotch went to make sure that Brandon had gotten secured. "Is he okay?"

"He needs to go to the hospital. His body temperature is down and we need to get it up to a safe level," the paramedic answered. "He hasn't regained consciousness. We need to go now."

"I'm coming with him," Morgan said before jumping into the ambulance.

"Take care of him," Hotch called.

* * *

JJ held her son in her arms as the paramedic placed a bandage over her head. She refused to let go of him. Will held an ice pack to his head and sat next to her. Garcia and the others appeared at the other ambulance.

"JJ, are you okay?!" Garcia gasped as she jumped into ambulance and sat on the other side of her.

"We're fine," JJ said. "Spence isn't. We heard him screaming and then it stopped. Where is that son of a bitch who took us?"

"He's dead," Hotch said, coming into sight. "I'm guessing the blow to the head killed him."

"I'm not sorry. He took us and I have no doubt he would have killed us. Bastard used us to control Spence. Is Spencer okay? He wouldn't wake up and we tried to warm him up but we didn't have much," JJ said before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"He's on his way to hospital," Rossi assured her.

* * *

_Reid panicked as Brandon dragged him to the river. He looked back to the car and feared for all their lives. Thrown to the ground, he grunted as he got kicked in the side. He screamed as the scruff of his neck got grabbed._

_"He failed but I won't. I'm going to kill them, Spencer. You can die knowing that Henry will grow up without a family."_

_It felt as if knives were stabbing into his face over and over as he was thrust into the water. He screamed but all he felt enter his mouth was water. He struggled but he couldn't escape. His lungs began to burn and he began to stop struggling. Before the darkness took over, his last thoughts were on the three people who would die because of him. Moments later, he closed his eyes. The water turning his lungs to ice._

* * *

He coughed violently as he woke up. He struggled to focus. "Hey, kid. It's Morgan. Calm down, you're in an ambulance. Don't touch the oxygen mask. Breathe."

"J...J," Reid moaned behind the mask.

"They're all fine. Will, JJ and the baby. Brandon's dead, kid. He ain't coming back."

Reid closed his eyes again, unable to stay awake.

* * *

Garcia held JJ's baby. JJ was getting some stitches to her head but she had managed to escape a concussion. Will had to stay overnight after vomiting in the ambulance, for observation. She walked up and down the hall to keep the baby asleep. So much had happened in a such a small amount of time. Henry was with Blake, she thanked the stars that he had been at a sleepover. She also thanked them for the fact that Brandon had not tried to force himself on Reid. Taking a seat, she cradled little Spencer in one arm and use her finger to stroke his nose.

"You had no idea about what almost happened tonight," Garcia said gently. "I can say this, you'll never know. Your Uncle Spencer loves you. He has promised to protect you no matter what. I love you too. I'm your godmother and I won't let anything happen to you either."

* * *

Reid woke up to a small sound next to him. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself beneath a lot of blankets. He felt warm. Reid didn't understand, he just remembered water and cold. He blinked before looking to the other side and seeing JJ and baby Spencer. He looked to his other side and saw Morgan, Garcia and Hotch.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Oh, Spence," JJ said happily before she smiled at him. "Thank god, you're okay."

"Why aren't I dead?"

"Will and JJ managed to get out of the trunk. Brandon is dead," Morgan explained. "He drowned you but Will used CPR and got you back. You've been out for almost twelve hours kid."

"I'm sorry," he said before closing his eyes and crying. "JJ, I'm so sorry."

"Don't you dare," she said shaking her head. "You've got nothing to say sorry for. We're all safe, that's all that matters."

"He was going to kill you all," he shook his head. "Even the baby."

Morgan moved forward and pressed the button to raise the bed into a sitting position. He pulled the blanket down so Reid's arms were free. JJ stepped forward and put little Spencer in his arms. "He's safe, Spence."

Reid held his godson and smiled as blue eyes looked up at him. "Hey there. I thought he was going to kill you. I'm so happy you're safe."

**Please review**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I can only do one update tonight as my hands are playing up. I am really sorry and I'm trying to get this problem sorted. For those reading Cleansing the evil, I will do a nice long update for tomorrow. Half of this chapter was already done last night. Enjoy this chapter and I'd love to know what you think.  
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**Thank you for all the reviews, you're the most wonderful readers in the world and the world would be a darker place without you. Thank you!  
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**Enjoy and please review, you know you love me, go on and review!  
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**All mistakes are my own**

**The next day**

Reid laid in the bed. JJ had gone to check how Will was doing and had allowed him to keep holding the baby, she had stayed with him all morning. Garcia was in the corner, talking with one of the techs at the BAU. He slowly rocked the baby and laughed as the little one kept hold of his finger.

"Henry and you keep me from losing control," he said to the baby. He made sure that Garcia couldn't hear him. "I've felt incredibly bad over the last year. I didn't know you were to arrive in this world but I'm glad you did. Your mother and father are so strong, they saved my life. During some bad times over the year, I began to lose hope but your big brother kept me from doing something. I made a promise when I became his godfather, that promise was to protect him and help him in his life, any way he needed. I had a chance to end the pain but your big brother gave me hope so I didn't do it. I wasn't about to break a promise I made to him. I made the same promise to you when you were born and I don't intend to break that either. You give me hope that I can have a normal life, so I promise that I will make sure you have a normal life. A normal life or an extraordinary one."

He watched as the baby moved and a small smile came on his little face.

"That wasn't a smile," Reid laughed gently. "That was gas, wasn't it?"

Garcia closed her phone and came over. "Don't think I didn't hear what you just said. I have good ears."

"It's true," he said as he looked at her. "I've seen so much over this last year, been through too much. Seeing Henry and holding little Spencer, it gives me hope, that after some time, I might be able to have a normal life. I know that is a long time away and that I'm not ready to do a lot of things yet. I'm still frightened of the world."

"What did you mean when you said about the chance to end the pain?" Garcia asked.

"I'll tell you later but I don't want the baby around to hear."

"Reid, he won't remember it."

"I know," Reid nodded. "I just want him to stay surrounded by good things. I don't want either of my god-children to hear the monster's name."

"You're stronger around them," Garcia said as she sat on the edge of the bed and tickled the baby's feet.

"I have to stay strong around them," he said. "Henry knows you are all lying about me being undercover. He doesn't know the truth but he knows something bad happened to me. He told me not to feel sad because he would protect me. I almost broke down that day. I stayed strong though and he only saw a few tears. Being around them, it makes dealing with the past year easier. Holding Spencer now, makes things better. Makes what just happened to me disappear for a while. I'm pretty sure that he might need a change though. He's a little smelly."

Garcia sniffed before nodding. "I second that. I'll go and get him a new diaper. Reid, things will get better. It'll take time though."

"I have time now, thanks to Will and JJ bringing me back."

* * *

Will and Reid got released at the same time. Reid was going back to Morgan's house while, JJ and her family were going home. Putting his arms around Will, he gave him a hug before coming away. "Thank you for saving my life."

"I wasn't about to let my sons grow up without their godfather. We'll come visit when we both don't have headaches."

"Will, I'm sorry about putting your family at risk."

"Hey, don't start that. We had no idea what he was going to do. We're alive and so are you. He's dead and you can start to move on with your life. Thank JJ for Brandon no longer being here. She's got a mean swing when it comes to tyre jacks."

They both let out a small laugh. "Seriously, Reid. I mean it. Don't think what happened was your fault. Just focus on getting better."

"I will," Reid nodded. "You focus on your kids. They are the best kids in the world."

* * *

Morgan sat on the sofa with Reid as they watched television. Reid was finally eating his soup after Morgan had tasted it in front of him. Morgan found it strange, looking at Reid, he saw a man who still had secrets. He turned down the volume on the television and turned to Reid.

"Garcia told me about what you said. When did you get a chance to end the pain? I want the truth."

Reid finished his soup, he passed it to Morgan, who put it on the table.

"I got a chance to kill myself," Reid admitted. "I had the rope and I was going to hang myself."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I have my reasons," Reid sighed. "He had shoved me in the bathroom to get clean. My hands were free and there was rope under the sink. There was a fan in there and it would have held my weight. I even tied the noose. This was about ten months into everything. Henry came into my mind though. He came into my head and I pictured you all as well. I thought about if you ever found my body. He never killed his victims like that so I knew you would know I did it. Henry would have found out when he was older and you would all think I was a coward. Henry saved my life. I didn't want him knowing that I killed myself so, I dropped the noose. I spent the next two months after that enduring the rapes, beatings and pain and I never regretted my decision. I just kept hoping for you to find me. You did and I'm so thankful you did. Henry kept me from losing hope."

"We would never see you as a coward, kid. After what you went through, it doesn't surprise me that you had thoughts like that. It's natural. You were in a situation that many people will never know. I saw what Oliver did to you. You went through a lot."

"I still don't understand why he did it. Oliver could have released me but he chose a different path. He really hurt me. The monster killed him an hour after that. He didn't make me watch or even clean it up. He just left me on the bed. That was strange that night. He cleaned me up, fed me some chicken and put me in the bed with him that night. Didn't hurt me for two days after. I didn't know how to process that night. I think he saw that. I got traumatized by that night. I knew what he was, he was a monster, always will be. Oliver seemed normal. In one hour though, he was worse than the monster. I didn't speak for a week after the night he treated me well."

* * *

_He cried on the bed as Oliver finished, the hand released from his mouth. Pressing his face into the pillow, he screamed as Oliver removed himself. The monster dragged Oliver out of the room without a word. Reid sobbed on the bed. He felt blood down his legs. He had not felt that for a while, his body used to being forced upon. Oliver had ignored his screams. He laid there for an hour before he heard screaming and the sound of a body hitting the floor. The door opened and he didn't move. His hands got freed and he got rolled on his back. The monster went to the bathroom and ran a bath._

_A small yelp came through his lips as the monster lifted him off the bed, his clothes slowly got removed and then lowered into the bath, on his side. It was warm. It was never warm. Expecting a hit against his body, he got a surprise when the monster began to bathe him. He closed his eyes when the monster cleaned his more private area. He whimpered and cried harder. Ten minutes later, the monster finished._

_He felt numb as he was dressed into a clean t-shirt and clean pyjamas and placed on the floor. The monster changed the sheets before leaving the room. He didn't come back till fifteen minutes later. He sat next to Reid with a plate of hot, warmed up chicken and a bottle of water._

_"What are you going to make me do?" he quivered._

_"Just eat."_

_Reid ate the chicken and relished at how warm it was. He finished and drank the entire bottle of water. He began to cry as he got lifted up and placed on the bed. He waited for the monster to begin restraining him but he never did. A blanket was swiftly placed over him. The monster left for ten minutes before coming back and stripping to his boxers. The man slipped under the blanket and pulled Reid closer to him._

_"Sleep, Spencer."_

* * *

Reid came out of the memory. "He didn't beat me, violate me or do anything. He just washed me, fed me and let me sleep in warmth."

"I'm interviewing him at the end of the week. Do you want me to find out?"

"I want an answer."

* * *

Morgan sat across from Lincoln. "Hello, agent Morgan. What can I do for you today?"

"I have questions, you have answers. We can talk for as long as you comply. My first question. Spencer told us that you killed Oliver after forcing him to assault him."

"I didn't force anything," Lincoln chuckled. "I left the room to get rid of a dick. I come back to the room and find Oliver putting it to Spencer. He really made him scream and cry. I killed him so quickly because he was competition."

"I don't believe that," Morgan said. "Spencer described that night. You treated him with care afterwards. Gave him a warm bath afterwards, fresh clothes, warm food and water. You even let him sleep in bed with a blanket and no restraints. You didn't make him do anything for it, yet he has told us that you made him pleasure you for a cup of water before and after that night."

"He's good at it," Lincoln snorted.

"Let's not have a repeat of the forest," Morgan said stoically. "Why did you do it?"

"Honestly," Lincoln said, leaning back in his chair. "I felt like he'd been raped."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"When I first took his virginity, he became mine. I don't consider our other sessions together, rapes. I only raped him once. When I made those men hurt him, they had my go ahead. Oliver didn't. He screwed Spencer without even a nudge of the gun. I came in and found Spencer in a hysterical state and blood all over the sheets. I killed Oliver and made sure it hurt. I gave my little bitch a few nights off. That's it."

"You raped Spencer," Morgan said angrily. "Every time you hurt him, you raped him."

"Would you like to take a ride on him?" Lincoln laughed. "You seem so eager to know about our time together."

"He's like my little brother, you sick son of a bitch! I came here for answers. You've got a long road ahead, Lincoln. We'll be at the end of it and have a front row seat to you dying. I promise you that!"

**Please review**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I've done a particular part in this chapter for someone and I hope she likes it. I enjoyed writing it a lot. I hope you are all still enjoying my fanfic. I just want to say thank you for your continued support and for being such amazing readers. Thank you. Enjoy and I'd love to know what you think.  
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** Thank you for the spectacular reviews, I love you all to bits and can't stop thanking you. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A week later**

"NO!" a scream echoed through the house causing Morgan to jolt up in his bed. "Stop! AHHHHHH! AHHHHH! Let me go!"

Morgan threw the covers off and raced down the hall. He opened the door and watched Reid thrash in the bed. He quickly grabbed Reid's shoulders. "Reid, come on. Wake up, kid!"

"I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD! No, no, no!"

"WAKE UP!" Morgan yelled.

Reid jolted up in his bed, he began to hit out at Morgan's hands touching him. Grabbing his hands, Morgan made him look at him. "Hey, it's just me. It's Morgan. You just had a nightmare."

"Most nightmares didn't really happen," Reid shook his head before brushing his hand through his hair. "I didn't clean the blood good enough. He got so angry and hit me over and over, he used me that night and then made me clean up the mess he made on the floor. I didn't do anything wrong, I tried being a good boy to him but nothing made any difference."

"It's okay," Morgan whispered. "You know that these nightmares are going to happen. Just remember that it will never happen again. You're safe now. Lincoln is in jail and Brandon is dead. Repeat the last sentence."

"Lincoln is in jail and Brandon is dead," Reid repeated. He took a deep breath before looking at his friend. "I'm sorry that I woke you up. I didn't mean to."

"Don't worry about it, kid. I'm here to talk you through things after your nightmares. You want to try get some more sleep?"

"Yeah," Reid nodded. "I'm still tired."

Reid laid down, he shook slightly as Morgan brought the covers up. "Just call me if you need anything."

"I will, Morgan. What are we doing tomorrow?"

"How about this?" he said. "I'm in the middle of renovating a house. Do you want to come and join me there? For the next few weeks, I'm here for you. You can help me with the walls, read some books and we can just talk. I got my brace off and I'm all set to go."

"That sounds good," Reid nodded.

* * *

Morgan hit the wall with the sledge-hammer. Reid was in the other room reading his collection of new books that they had stopped off and bought. Watching Reid in the bookstore had made him smile.

* * *

_Reid's hand hovered over the books, his eyes wide as he looked at them all. He took a book off the shelf and absorbed the words on the back. He put it back and wandered the shelves again. _

_"See anything you like," Morgan said as he came next to him._

_"There are a lot of new books out."_

_"Do you want to get them?"_

_Reid brought his sleeves over his hands and shook his head. "I don't need them."_

_"You're allowed to have books, kid. I know you haven't been able to buy things by yourself or have the things that you wanted. Now, you can. I want you to go absolutely crazy in here. Pick as many books as you want. No-one will take them from you and no-one is going to make you do anything for them."_

_Reid reached up and grabbed a book he had kept his eye on. He walked to another shelf and took a larger one down. Morgan smiled as he watched the man who he saw as a little brother, act like a kid in a candy store._

* * *

He hit the hammer against the wall again. With every hit, moments from Lincoln's videos flashed in front of his eyes. He remembered the tears down Reid's face in the back of the car, the screams during his abuse by Oliver, the pleas as his friend got pinned down and abused. He'd never forget the look of despair as Reid laid silently and tried to escape into his mind.

"SON OF A BITCH!" he screamed before throwing the hammer at the other wall. He kicked over the table holding all his tools. He picked up random tools and began to throw them angrily at the walls. Picking up the table, he tossed it with ease before collapsing against the wall and sliding to the floor. He ripped off his gloves and threw them to the floor. He put his hands to his face and felt everything break down inside of him. Sitting on the floor, he cried as the stress and pain of a year came forward. Staying strong was hard and in this one moment, he couldn't be strong.

The day he had packed away Reid's things from his apartment, that was the day it all sunk in. He had packed away his little brother's life, into boxes he hoped would open again by their owner's hand. They would now but there had been a time when he thought they would never see Reid again. It was only for minutes he had thought that but he hated himself every day for thinking like that.

He looked up when he heard a creak. Standing at the edge of the door way, was Reid, wide-eyed and a little scared. "Morgan, are you okay?"

"No, not so much, kid."

Reid came into the room clutching a book in his hands. He sat down next to him and brought his knees to his chest. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"For a whole year, you were gone. I'm trying to act like every is normal but I can't. Kid, you got taken from us and we had no idea where you were. I had to pack up your stuff into boxes and when I closed each box, I prayed to God that I wasn't going to stand at your grave one day and see you in a coffin. I'm struggling to come to terms with what happened to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I've always tried to protect you. You're the kid of the team and no matter what, you are always going to be. I walked into your apartment the next day, the day after I last saw you, and found things smashed against the floor and you gone. I failed you for over a year. I've always seen you as a little brother and it was my job to protect you. I failed! You got forced to do things against your will and you suffered through so much pain and degradation. I watched what he did to you. You were so scared and I felt pure hate at myself every time I heard you scream."

"I never wanted you to watch those videos," Reid shook his head. "I knew he had them. Not as many as you have but he made me watch us together a few times. You're protecting me now and that is all that matters. You didn't know about Brandon or the monster. None of us can see the future. I don't blame you for my kidnapping or my captivity. I kept hold of you all, I never let go of my family. You didn't fail me, you've never failed me. I know I'm the kid. I see you as my big brother too, I've always known you had my back. Knowing that, I knew you wouldn't give up and you didn't. You found me and I need you to stay strong for me. I have to learn to trust the world again and I need you to help me learn that trust again. I know you can do that. I want you and me, when I'm ready, to go a baseball pitch. I want you to teach me how to swing properly."

Morgan cracked a smile and let out a small chuckle. He wiped his cheeks and tried to regain his composure. "I'm happy to do that, kid. I'm sorry for breaking down like this but I guess everything just came down on me. I just struggle with the fact that something so terrible and horrific happened to you. You have never hurt anyone and you deserve to have a happy life with a woman and rugrats. You didn't deserve what the world did to you. We never gave up. I'll help you trust the world and I give you this promise. Any bastard tries to lay a finger on you, I'll make sure they never walk again."

"I'm actually glad to see you let it all out. I know the rest of the team wants to let everything out. You're all trying to protect me but you're letting yourselves become vulnerable. It will take time for me to come to terms with the abuse but I'm hoping I can do it."

"Don't hope," Morgan said. "Know you will do it and it'll happen."

"Thanks for the advice, old man," Reid laughed.

"Old man?" Morgan shook his head before chuckling. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"If I'm the kid, I get to call you an old man."

* * *

_He stared at the ceiling as his body moved up and down, the heavy monster already in his stride. His mind gave him salvation this time. It let him escape._

**_Garcia grabbed him and dragged him to the dance floor, he laughed as he twirled her around. He felt happy as the music went on. His entire week had been nothing but good and two of his papers were getting published. They finished dancing and went to the photo booth that the club had. Garcia pressed the button. They both jumped as Morgan came in there with him with three shots. He knelt in front of them._**

**_"Drink the shot," Morgan said. They all drank the shot as the booth took the picture. The next photo flashed as Reid's face scrunched up from the shot. They all huddled together and smiled as it took the third photo. Garcia kissed his cheek for the last one while Morgan faked being shock. They rushed out of the booth and waited for the photos. Garcia picked them up and they all laughed. _**

**_"Oh, I love these. I am keeping these for life. Look at Morgan, acting all jealous."_**

**_"My man, Reid, got his hands all over my girl," Morgan joked. He caught Reid as he stumbled slightly. "Easy there, my man."_**

**_"I think I'm a little drunk," Reid giggled. "What was in that shot?"_**

**_"The night, my friend," Morgan clapped. "Let's enjoy the rest of it."_**

_He came back to reality as he felt it finish. The monster looked down at him. His cheek burned as he got slapped across the face. _

_"You know I hate it when you do that!"_

_Reid struggled as he got turned over, his back exposed and his wrists turning too. Luckily, the restraints allowed them to turn. He yelped as the leather of the belt hit his back. "Try going there now!"_

* * *

**Two days later**

Reid waited in his mother's room at Bennington. He wanted to see his mother and the team had finally brought him on a flight over. He sat on the bed, nervous and scared about what could happen. His mother was having a good day. He took a deep breath. The door opened and Dr Norman came in. "Are you sure you're ready for this Spencer?"

"I just need to see her."

Dr Norman nodded before leaving. Reid stood up as he watched his mother come in. He let out a small sob. "Momma."

Diana walked forward and touched his still slightly bruised face. She grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. He broke into tears as he hugged her back. She stroked his hair and made shushing noises as he buried his face in her neck and cried harder.

"Oh, Spencer. What did that evil man do to you? My precious boy, I missed you so much."

**Please review**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I apologise for not updating Saturday, I really didn't have a lot of time and I had to watch Doctor Who. ********In defense of not updating yesterday, I had these my chapters all ready to go but the site would not let me sign in.** I liked writing the scene with Morgan and Reid and I'm really happy that you all liked it. I hope you enjoy this and let me know you what you think. I love your opinions.  


** Thank you for the spectacular reviews. You're the best readers in the world. Thank you!  
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**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat with his mother in her room, crying against her. She brought him away and looked into his eyes. "Spencer, what have you gone through?"

"I-I never w-wanted it," he hiccupped through the tears. "Mom, the monster took me from my family. H-He hurt me and I couldn't stop him. I-I missed you so much. I-I told him to s-stop but he never did. Mom, help me."

"Shhhh...don't cry. It's okay. Mother is here."

"I don't know what else t-to do," he whispered before wiping his eyes. "I sleep and the nightmares come for me, I can't forget. All because of my stupid brain, I can't forget. I remember every moment with perfect clarity."

"Your mind is a beautiful thing," Diana shook her head. "While you remember everything with perfect clarity, horrors that I can't imagine, it also allows you to remember moments of happiness perfectly. Never have I seen you cry like this or look this way. You've always been such a brave young man."

"No, I haven't," he shook his head.

"I may not remember where I am sometimes or that you are even my son when my illness confuses me but today, I am your mother. You are a brave young man. I know that I did things when you were younger, things that hurt you. I don't remember them but I could always tell when you were lying to me. The bruises around your wrists told me everything. So did the other bruises. Days like today are getting rarer. You are my son and when you were born, I knew you were destined to do great things. I was supposed to be a mother to you and I wasn't when you were growing up."

"No, you were. You are my mother and you have always been there."

"Don't say that," she shook her head. "Spencer, you took care of me after your father left and you shouldn't have needed to. You sacrificed a normal childhood to care for me. You did so much when you were younger and you never got anything for it. You are a brave, selfless man who has survived horrible terrors. Someone who wasn't brave wouldn't have survived all of that. You can cry all you want because you have every right in the world but only you can help yourself get back to normal. Your friends can only do so much. Don't ever doubt yourself. Try not to focus on the bad memories, they may not stop but try to fight them with the good ones. Oh, Spencer. The day I didn't receive a letter, I knew that something had happened. How could anyone hurt my little boy?"

"I never meant to leave you without a letter. He didn't let me do anything. Mom, I don't how I can ever get back to normal. He stripped away so much from me. He took something precious to me and I can never get it back. I did focus on the good memories and they saved my life. I'm ruining my team. My friend, Morgan, broke down and he blames himself for what happened. He got so angry and I hate making them feel that way," he shook his head, wiping tears from red eyes. "I almost got my new godson killed. I almost got Henry's whole family killed. They tell me it isn't my fault but it is. I should have let the monster kill me the first time and they would never have gotten hurt."

Diana grabbed his face in her hands. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!"

Reid looked at her with wide eyes.

"Spencer, don't you ever say that again. I've met your team, I remember them, at least, sometimes. They showed me pictures of you with them. They love you and they missed you. Alex, she is a lovely woman. The way she talked about you. They are your family and for you to say that, breaks my heart and it would break theirs too. Are they safe now? Your two godsons and their parents."

"They are safe. In fact, JJ and Will saved my life."

"What do you mean?"

"The monster had a partner," Reid whispered to her. "He took us and drowned me. I died but they brought me back."

His mother brought him into a strong hug. "Thank god, they did. They brought you back to me."

"The monster is still alive. I hate that he is alive."

"Say his name, Spencer."

Reid tried but felt himself gag. "I can't, I just can't. He'll always be the monster. Only monsters do the things he did. Mom, not a day went by that I didn't think about you. Can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Can you read to me? I really need that. You have no idea how many times I remembered you reading to me."

She got up and took a book from the bookshelf. It was a Margery Kemp book, one that he had brought for her. He sat next to her and leaned against her shoulder as she opened the book and began to read.

* * *

Morgan came back into Bennington, he had left to give Reid time with his mother. He had snacks for their stay in the hotel for the night and had brought the best coffee he could find for him. He knocked on the door to Diana's room. He walked in and stopped when he found Reid asleep on his mother's lap, Diana stroking her hand through his hair.

"Hello, Mrs Reid," he said quietly as she sat down across from her. "I'm Derek Morgan. I'm looking after Spencer."

"I don't remember who he is sometimes and it breaks my heart," Diana shook her head. "I don't get many days where my mind is this clear. I'm so happy that I can be here for him. He's so scared and hurt."

"He's been through a lot and he is struggling," Morgan said sadly. "He needed to come here and see you."

"Did that monster hurt my boy?" Diana said as she looked down to her son. "Did he violate my son?"

"Mrs Reid-" Morgan tried to say.

"Don't lie to me."

"Yes, the man who took Spencer raped him," Morgan said truthfully.

"Derek, please make me a promise," Diana said. "I can't always be like this for him. I don't even know if I'll remember him being here tomorrow. He speaks about you with such high regard and he cares about you all."

"We care about him too. He's always been a little brother to me. The day he got taken, I felt like I had failed to protect him."

"Make me this promise. You keep him safe and you look after him. He needs people around him to care for him and protect him. Please, don't ever give up on him. He's such a special boy and I want him to stay safe. I lost him once, I don't want to lose my son again."

"I promise that I'll keep him safe. None of us will ever give up on him. We don't want to lose him again and I'll die before I let another person hurt him."

"He's never done anything wrong," she shook her head. "How could anyone hurt him?"

"I don't know," Morgan said. "He's got best heart I know."

* * *

Reid stared out of the window as they made their way to the hotel. He closed his eyes and leaned against the glass.

_"Please, it hurts."_

_The monster continued before finishing, he pressed Reid's head against the table as he let out a content sigh. "I love it when you say things like that."_

_Reid fell to the floor and pulled up his trousers with his bound hands. He didn't cry this time. He watched the man as he buckled his belt. He jumped slightly when he heard a scream of frustration from downstairs in the basement. He looked up to the monster. "Please, let him go. Harry is the youngest so far. I'm begging you. You've already made him hurt me. Have mercy."_

_A loud cackle filled the kitchen. "Have Mercy! Why would I give you that?! You're getting more and more disobedient. Our friend is coming tomorrow. The one who loves to visit you. He's gonna have a good time with you."_

_The next day, he hung by his arms from a tree for hours in the freezing cold, beaten and violated. A punishment for biting the monster._

* * *

**A few days later**

Morgan rubbed his tired eyes as he came out of the bathroom. He yawned and stopped when he saw Reid's light on. He opened the door but didn't see him in the bed. He heard small sobs coming from the connecting bathroom. "Hey, Reid. Can I come in?"

"No," a sob came from behind the door. "Go away."

Morgan grabbed a key and unlocked the bathroom from the outside door. He walked in and found Reid cleaning blood up off the floor. He rushed to him and checked him over. "Are you okay?"

"I had a bad nosebleed. I'm really sorry! I'm cleaning it up. It'll be clean when I'm done."

"Why didn't you come and get me when you had the nosebleed?"

"You were sleeping and I didn't want to get hurt."

"I'd never hurt you," Morgan sighed. "Here, let me clean this up."

"No! I have too!" Reid said before snatching the cloth and scrubbing the floor again. "I'm not clean so I have to make this clean. I'm dirty, I'll always be dirty!"

Morgan took the cloth away and put it on the floor. "You're not dirty and you don't have to clean this up. I'm not going to hurt you and neither will any one else. It's okay. You're not in that place any more."

Reid put his head down and hit his hands against the floor. "I can't sleep and when I do, he's there and he's hurting me. They both are. Over the table, in his bed, on the floor and on the sofa, every place and every disgusting act branded into my head. I constantly hear him undoing his belt. That sound always told me what was going to happen. Morgan, make it stop."

Morgan brought Reid in and held him. He rocked him and watched his friend cry. He had promised a wonderful woman that he would protect, support and never give up on her son. He'd never break that promise.

**Please review**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. Enjoy and please review. I've got plans for the next chapter, certain plans involving Lincoln. I just want to say thanks for all of your support with this and I hope you all still like reading this. I'm worried some of you have lost interest. Enjoy and let me know what you think. I value your advice and I'm happy to include any scenes you may want to see.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews. You are the most brilliant people in the world and you're awesome. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

_He had sat in the hole for hours, he was freezing and his fingers hurt from trying to get out of the hole. A stick cracked nearby, he brought his knees up to his chest and didn't dare look up. The monster jumped in with a small stool. Reid whimpered as a hand grabbed around his throat and dragged him to his feet. "You're in so much trouble, boy!"_

_He threw Reid to the floor and bound his hands and feet. He brought him up and stood on the stool. He threw Reid out of the hole before jumping out himself._

_"Please, please, please don't hurt me," Reid whispered to himself. The monster grabbed his shaggy hair and dragged him back to the house. He cried out in pain as he felt strands of his hair rip from his scalp. He hit the floor with a thud as they came back into the house. He looked up at the monster. "I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me. You can't blame for trying. I-I just want to see my family again."_

_The monster brutally hit him across the face, he tried to curl into a ball as the beating continued but the monster kept bringing him out of it._

_"THIS WILL TEACH YOU WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BREAK MY RULES. I GIVE YOU A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD AND I GIVE YOU FOOD!" the monster screamed in his face before punching him repeatedly. A metallic taste touched Reid's tongue as blood dripped into his mouth from his nose. The beating continued for two more minutes before the monster stopped and got to his feet. Reid's whole screamed fiery pain at his brain and he rolled to his stomach to stop himself from choking on the blood pouring from his nose and into his mouth. He wanted to pass out but his body refused to let him._

_He felt tears mix with the blood and whimpered as the monster returned. He heard the man unbuckle his belt and a weight on his hips._

_"Nooo..." Reid whined as he got turned on his stomach and his face pressed against the floor. He opened his mouth in a silent sob as another session began._

_"I'm gonna teach you a lesson, boy."_

* * *

Reid snapped out of the memory as Morgan put a plate of food in front of him. He looked down at the food and quickly left the table. He ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. He reached the toilet and vomited. He coughed as he leaned against the toilet bowel. The bathroom door opened and Morgan stepped in.

"Kid, what is it?"

"I don't know. I just had the urge to empty my stomach. I was thinking again. Remembering the time that I managed to escape. He starved and sleep deprived me for days after beating and violating me for hours. I heard his damn belt buckle. I was in so much pain already and he just used me. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Morgan said before he wiped Reid's mouth with some tissue and helped him to his feet. "We all know that this isn't going to be a quick recovery, no matter how much we wish it was. It'll take time for you to walk around like yourself again. You need to eat though. The doctor said that you needed to gain weight and keep your strength up."

Reid nodded and allowed Morgan to guide him back to the kitchen. He sat back at the table and watched Morgan take a bite of the different foods on his plate. He picked up the fork and watched as Morgan took a seat across from him. He would only eat if food was packaged or if someone tasted his food too.

He twirled the fork in the noodles and ate a large bite.

"It's good to see you eating more," Morgan smiled.

"I guess my body is getting used to having more food. Please, let me do something to thank you for all this food. Let me clean up or organise something."

"Kid, having you here, safe and sound, is the biggest thank you I could get. You were missing for a year and that was year of missed nights out, missed family gatherings and nightmares. I had the most horrible dreams."

"What nightmares did you have?"

Morgan swallowed his food and put down his fork. "They were different each time. One of the my dreams, was of the team and me, finding you dead in some ditch. I woke up that night and I struggled to sleep for the next week. In the dream, you were in the ditch and your eyes were open and frightened. You'd been stabbed to death. In the dream, I just jumped into the ditch, picked up your body and broke down. The second nightmare, you were alive and screaming for help. I tried to get to you but you kept getting lost in the darkness. I had a lot more and unfortunately, some of them turned out to really be happening to you."

Reid stayed silent and took another bite of his food. He swallowed and spoke. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry," Morgan said gently.

"Why aren't you going to Chicago?" Reid asked.

"What do you mean?"

"In three days time, it's usually the date when you go and see your mother and sisters. Why aren't you going to them?"

"I actually needed to talk to you. They are coming here. I explained everything but they are adamant about seeing me because they didn't see me last year. It'll only be for a few days they stay and Garcia has offered to take care of you if you don't want to stay here whem my mom and sisters are here during the day."

"I'd like to stay here. I'm used to here and I know where to hide if things go wrong."

"You'll never have to hide again, you know that."

* * *

**Three weeks later**

* * *

_He wandered around the forest with his hands bound behind his back and a leash around his neck. A blindfold was tightly around his eyes so he couldn't see anything. He cried and felt the collar around his neck tighten as the leash reached its limit. The smell of wet grass filled the air and he could hear birds and animals around him. The man had put him out here while a special surprise got ready._

_"Morgan," he whimpered. "I need your help. Hotch, JJ, any of you. I wanna go home."_

_He tried to run as he heard footsteps coming near him. He fell as the leash tightened and he lost his balance. He got pulled across the floor by the leash and struggled to breathe as it pressed down on his throat. Feeling the familiar floors of the house, he let out a cry and he got thrown to the floor. The monster touched him. "Guess what today is?"_

_"I don't know," he said as he felt a hand in his hair._

_"It's your birthday! It's October 9th! You're 33 now. We're going to give you a special day."_

_He felt hands tug his trousers while another forced pills into his mouth and made him swallow them. "No!" he cried as they began to hurt him. He became dizzy and drowsy as the drugs took hold._

* * *

Morgan greeted his mother and sisters as they came into his house.

"Oh, it's wonderful to see you again. Derek, you've not seen us in a long time," Fran said.

"I'm sorry, mom. I've just had a lot to deal with."

Sarah was about to talk when Reid began shouting from his bedroom.

"Morgan! Stop!"

"Wait here," he said quickly as he rushed upstairs and found Reid screaming into the pillow. Morgan rushed over and shook Reid awake. Reid fought against Morgan and only calmed down when Morgan wrapped his arms around Reid to keep him still. "Shhh...it's okay."

"My birthday surprise!" Reid said as he gasped for air. "Oh my god, they did so much."

"Calm down, it was just a memory."

"They both hurt me, at the same time, I repressed it. They did too much and I repressed it. I only remembered it till now."

Reid heard voices from downstairs. "Who is here?"

"My mom and sisters," Morgan quickly explained. Reid wiggled out of Morgan's grasp and went to the bathroom.

"Go to them. Just go, please," Reid cried before closing the door. Morgan tried to stop the door closing but failed as Reid locked it. He leaned against the door and listened to Reid cry quietly.

"Reid, come downstairs when you calm down. Just remember that Brandon is dead and Lincoln is in jail."

He walked away from the door knowing that Reid wasn't going to calm down soon and wanted to be left alone. There wasn't anything that Reid could harm himself with in there and he knew Reid would never do that. He made his way down the stairs to find his family sitting in the living room.

"What was that?" Désirée asked.

"That was Reid," Morgan said sadly before sitting next to his mother. "He was having a nightmare. I know you are staying at the hotel but when you are in the house, just be careful around him. He's been through a tremendous amount of pain and horror. He's scared and not used to normal things yet."

"Where is he now?" Sarah said.

"In the bathroom, crying. He can't hurt himself in there and he wants to sit alone."

"Oh, that poor boy," Fran shook her head.

* * *

Reid sat numbly in the bathroom. A knock came at his door. He opened the door but returned sitting against the floor. He smiled gently as Garcia came into the bathroom and sat down next to him. "Hey, baby boy."

"What are you doing here?" Reid asked, his voice different due to the crying. Garcia took a pink tissue from her pocket and wiped the tears from his face.

"Morgan called and asked me to come over. You've been in here for over an hour according to him. Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"My birthday, not long before you found me. They both hurt me brutally and until now, I repressed that day. Even when Henry gave me the key ring, I couldn't remember it. I'm never going to be normal again."

"Oh sweetheart," she said, her own tears forming. "Come here."

Reid hugged Garcia and felt comforted as she stroked her hand down his back. "They can't hurt you, no-one can hurt you. We'll protect you."

**Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you for reassuring me about how you all feel about the story. I have a tad of OCD and it comes out sometimes. I was panicking that people had lost interest. I have my moments. Thank you again. I do hope you enjoy this chapter and I just want to give those who read the sequel to Connection, the sequel called Saving Blood. It will get updated on Sunday, I have the day free and it gives me time to finish and refine what I have. Enjoy the chapter and I'd love to know what you think. Again, I'm always happy to include moments you might want in here and I can include them in the original storyline.****  
**

** Thank you for the spectacular reviews. I just want to pick you up and squeeze you all tight. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid made his way down the stairs with Garcia's arm around him, he had stopped crying and his stomach was growling. He walked into the kitchen to find Morgan and his family cooking lunch. Fran was the first to see him. She put a tray in the oven and came over to him.

"Hello, Mrs Morgan," he said timidly. "I'm sorry about before."

"Nonsense," she smiled at him. "You've got nothing to say sorry for. It's nice to see you again. Can I give you a hug?"

Reid nodded and found her arms around him, he felt comforted by her hug. He couldn't only describe it as a mother's hug. He hugged her back and saw Morgan smile as he put his head on her shoulder. Désirée and Sarah came forward as he came away from the hug. They each stepped forward and hugged him as well.

"I hope you're hungry," Sarah smiled. "We are doing the Morgan family special dinner."

"What is the special dinner?" Reid asked.

"A lot of chocolate for dessert and a lot of calories in the rest of it," Morgan said. "We have it when we are all together."

* * *

Fran sat with Reid as she waited for her children and Garcia to put the food on the table. She watched him stare off into the distance and close his eyes. He flinched when she touch his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Spencer."

He straightened and brought his sleeves over his hands. "No, I'm sorry. I was a little lost in my head then."

"Does that happen often?" she asked.

"I can't help it and it worries Morgan, I mean, Derek, when I do go back. You shouldn't have to deal with this. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry, Spencer, but you aren't fine. Derek gets worried about you and he's worried that he isn't doing enough for you."

She watched him shake his head. "He's doing more than he should have to. I'm just having a hard time dealing with what happened to me. They're all doing the right thing and it is helping me. I'm able to eat as long as they taste it and I've gained weight. Derek calms me down when I have a nightmare. He broke down when we at the house he's renovating. He brought me a lot of books before we went there. He's like a big brother to me and I'm not helping him. I'm keeping him from his life."

"You aren't keeping him from his life," Fran assured him. You've given it back to him. I used to get calls from him because he was upset. He needed me as his mother a lot over the year you were gone. He never gave up hope and he always used his spare time to try to find you. He missed you so much, Spencer. He talks about you all the time to us. Always has. He's smiling and I haven't seen my son do that in a long time. He's laughing and he's happy because he has you back. Don't ever think you are keeping him from his life, you're helping him get it back."

"Mrs Morgan, thank you for talking to me."

"Any time," she smiled. "I'm here when you need me and you are always welcome in Chicago to visit. Now, let's get you some food and get a big smile on your face."

* * *

**A week later**

* * *

Reid sat on the edge of Rossi's pool, his feet dipped in the water. The sun was out and he felt the warmth of it on his back. Morgan had gotten called away to work with Hotch, the others wouldn't tell him any thing else. Garcia had brought some swimming trunks with her when she had brought some clothes around to him. He lowered himself into pool and relished the warm water on his skin. The only time the monster had washed him in warm water had been the night when Oliver had brutalised him. The rest of the time he'd been forced into a cold tub and scrubbed with a brittle sponge. He remembered the one time when he'd been punished with the an icy bath.

* * *

_He shivered as he sat in the tub, his body exposed. The monster had filled it with ice and cold water. It was a month to the day since he'd been taken. The monster came and shoved his head under the water. Reid struggled as he felt the cold stab his face, he gasped and coughed as he didn't bring in any air. Rising again, he got forced against the side of the tub, the monster dunked the brittle sponge into the bath and began to scrub him._

_"Stop!" he pleaded. The monster forced him on his knees in the tub before pushing his body down and submerging him in the water. He felt a hand scrub where it hurt and began to buck as he stayed under the water for longer than he could hold his breath. He got pulled out of the bath and quickly dried with a towel, his hair staying wet. The monster forced him into a t-shirt and trousers before dragging him out of the bathroom and down the small modified part of the basement. He got forced into the hole and his hands tied to the bars when the monster came around to the outside. A hand grabbed his head and forced him into a kiss through the bar. The monster stood to his feet._

_"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME GO?!" Reid shouted as tears came down his face. "I have nothing else to offer you. You took what you wanted. Please, let me go."_

_The monster knelt. "You have plenty to offer me, Spencer. So much more. I'll never give you up. Now, I was going to let you talk but not anymore. You need to learn to keep your mouth shut."_

_The monster brought out the gag and reached through the bars. He managed to put the gag in Reid's mouth despite a small fight. Reid laid in his hole, flinching as the monster slammed the door leaving the basement. He put his head to the floor and watched as small droplets appeared on the floor._

* * *

"Snap out it, Reid."

Reid snapped out of the memory and looked up to see Rossi standing at the edge of the pool. "Sorry."

"You seem to be enjoying yourself in the pool."

"It's warm," Reid sighed. "When you are left in the cold for a long time, you value warmth."

"You don't have to keep your vest on," Rossi said. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Reid swam to the edge of the pool and lifted himself up. He kept the vest on for a reason. His back. "I don't want you all to see."

"See what?"

"I told Hotch not to tell you."

Rossi came and sat next to him, dipping his feet into the pool. He looked Reid in the eye. "What don't you want us to know? You are family, Reid, and we love you no matter what. You don't have to keep secrets from family. We aren't here to judge you, we're here to support you."

Reid thought for a moment before he took off his vest. Rossi's eyes widened as he took in the mess that was Reid's back. His hand hovered over the welts and the scars. "Oh, god."

"Brandon used a tv aerial and the monster used a belt. He used it when I misbehaved or when I used my mind to escape. He couldn't hurt me in here," Reid said before tapping his head. "He hated not being able to get to me in here. Rossi, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"There are a few days that I can't remember. I remember being given food and water and then nothing. It was a Tuesday when everything went dark and when I remember waking up in my hole, it was Friday. Rossi, I don't know what happened to me during those days. I'm scared because I don't know what he might have done to me."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Rossi said urgently.

"I just wanted it over and done with. Now, I keep thinking back to that blank space in my mind. I don't know what he did," Reid said before running his hands in his hair and grabbing some. Rossi brought Reid's hands away from his head and put his arm around him.

"We'll find out, I promise. For now, I just want you to get better and to focus on the future. Don't focus on something that may have happened, focus on something good. Henry and little Spencer are coming with JJ and Will to spend some time with you. I'm sure Henry will want to play in the pool with you. Okay, things will get better. Hell, they are getting better. You're okay and safe now."

"I know," Reid smiled. He picked up his wet vest and slipped it back on.

"You don't have to put that back on," Rossi sighed.

"I'm not having the kids see my scarred back."

Ten minutes later, Reid smiled as Henry came running up to the pool, already in his swimming shorts and arm bands.

"Cannonball!" Henry screamed before jumping in the pool and causing a splash. Reid laughed and hugged his godson.

* * *

Lincoln sat in the interrogation room, his bruises gone but his arm still in a cast. Hotch and Morgan looked through the one way mirror at him. "Why are we even talking to this son of a bitch?" Morgan said angrily. "I know Reid is safe with Rossi but I don't like leaving him alone."

"Lincoln has told his lawyer that he has information on two men that may relate to other missing men. It seems like Lincoln was part of a small network, at least, I think so. He knew Gary Trent but Brandon stopped us from talking to him. He wants to enter a plea bargain. He'll plead guilty to killing the six men and to kidnapping and keeping Spencer prisoner. He doesn't want to plead guilty to the rape and torture charges against him though. In return to giving us the information, he wants a life sentence. He doesn't want a place on death row and he doesn't want an execution. He has one more condition but he'll only talk to us."

"No deal," Morgan shook his head angrily. "He'll admit and plead guilty to what he did to Spencer. He thinks that because Spencer was a virgin, he claimed him and everything after that wasn't rape. We've all seen the tapes, we saw Spencer scream, cry and beg on them. He's still scared of everything. The only reason he made it to Vegas to see his mother was because the doctor gave him something to send him to sleep during the flight. I'm not okay with this. He deserves to die after what he did to Reid."

"You don't think I want him in the electric chair," Hotch argued back. "I want him to pay for what he did to Spencer, we all want him to pay. Right now, we are on a delicate line. We are agents of the FBI, not vigilantes. We have to also think about the information he may give to give us. We could put two more men in prison and possibly rescue other victims. Men that are probably going through what we saved Reid from."

Morgan leaned against the wall and shook his head. "I don't want Lincoln to stay alive. Reid can't even say his name, he just keeps calling him the monster. They both raped him on his birthday. He actually repressed it until a week ago. We spent our birthdays out and we had silent moments for Reid and that was it. Damn it! We should have look for him more. I should have ripped the country apart to find him."

The door opened to the room and Lincoln's lawyer stepped out. "He's ready to talk now."

Hotch and Morgan exchanged a glance before walking into the room. They both held their tongues as they looked at Lincoln.

"Hello agents!" he smiled at them.

"We are here to talk to you about the information you are offering in exchange for a plea bargain. You have the names of two men, who you have told your lawyer, currently are holding men against their will. If you give us the information and it proves truthful and useful to us, we'll allow the plea bargain. You must give us the name first."

"I'm not giving you the names."

"Then you have no deal," Morgan said sharply.

"No, I won't give you two the names. I will only give them to Spencer. He has to sit across from me, all alone. I want a kiss from him. Only then will I give you the information you want. The two men, their names, addresses and what they are probably doing to those innocent men. All I want is a kiss."

"Screw you," Morgan said before getting up from his chair and storming out of the room, stopping at the door as Lincoln spoke.

"Ask him, Agent Morgan. Ask that little slut if he wants it. He knows what I did and he knows what those men are going through. Would you really sacrifice two men escaping justice and harming more men? You'd sacrifice them for him."

Morgan stayed silent and walked out of the room, leaving Hotch to stare at Lincoln. Hotch looked into Lincoln's eyes.

"It's not like Spencer hasn't done it before," the bastard smiled. "I'll give you a day to consider my terms. Just know it's another day that another man screams for mercy."

**Please review**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. Thank you again for the awesome support you have given this story. I'm not having such an awesome time now in my life but when I see your reviews, it makes my day. You're just the best and I love you all. Enjoy and let me know what you think!  
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**Thank you for all the reviews. You are the most brilliant people in the world and I cherish each and every one of you. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid kicked his feet and swam around the pool as Henry held around his neck. They stopped when Garcia came out and announced that lunch was ready. Henry let go and swam to the edge of the pool where Will picked him up and wrapped him in the towel. Reid made his way to the edge of the pool and got out himself. Garcia walked to him with large robe and towel. He dried his hair with the towel. She hid him from the children's view as he took of his vest and put on the robe. He went to the table and stared at all the food. Garcia gave him a plate of food and took small bites from it. He thanked her and began to eat, enjoying the wonderful food. He watched as Will left the table to take a phone call for JJ on her phone. JJ held the baby bottle in her hand and kept moving from side to side.

"Spencer, can you hold the baby while I go to the bathroom? Please," JJ asked. Reid held out his arms and JJ placed little Spencer in his arms, she also gave him the bottle. She kissed his forehead before doing a small jog inside to the bathroom. He looked down and saw the baby look at him with his blue eyes and curious look on his face. His face scrunched up and he began to cry. Reid moved the baby to one arm and brought the bottle up. He put it in the baby's mouth and held it as little Spencer began to drink.

Garcia snapped a picture and Henry grinned. "He likes you, Uncle Spence."

"I like him too," Reid chuckled before bringing the bottle away. He put it on the table and moved the baby so he could burp him. It felt natural to him since he had done this with Henry when he was a baby. A small burp came from his shoulder. He brought little Spencer down and picked up the bottle again. He continued to feed the baby as JJ came back into the pool area.

"Oh, that is adorable," JJ said as she sat next to him. "How are you doing?"

"I'm doing okay. Still got a long way to go but I feel that things are getting better. He's finished his bottle," Reid said as he held up the empty bottle. He put the baby on his shoulder and burped him again.

"You're a natural," JJ smiled.

"I did this with Henry and it's just easy to do it again."

"You'll have one of your own. You'll make a wonderful father."

"I'm okay just being a godfather to these two rascals," Reid said. JJ looked into his eyes and saw a sense of sadness in them. She knew that he would have a family, not today or tomorrow, but he'd be a father one day. He deserved to have a woman who would love him and give him a family.

Will come back next to the pool area with JJ's cellphone in his hand. He looked at Garcia and Reid. "Garcia, Hotch wants you to take Reid upstairs and do a video call. It's important."

* * *

Garcia and Reid sat upstairs on Rossi's computer. She set up the video call. Hotch and Morgan came on the screen, both with grim faces.

"Guys, what's wrong?" Garcia asked.

"Reid, we are in Florida. Lincoln wanted us to come and talk to him. I need you to listen and stay calm, I also want you to remember that you are in control of your life and this is your choice," Morgan said.

"Why are you talking to him?" Reid gulped before leaning further into Garcia. She put her arm around him and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Lincoln wants to make a deal," Hotch began to explain. "He doesn't want an execution, he wants a life sentence. In return for giving us information on two men that he says are holding other men and hurting them, he wants us to make a deal that allows him to stay alive. We have a problem though."

"What problem?" Garcia demanded.

"He'll only give information to Reid. He wants him sat alone in the room with him and he wants-" Hotch hesitated. "Reid, he wants you to kiss him. He'll give us the information on the men if we agree to those terms."

Reid sat on the bed and shook his head. "You said it was over," he whispered at the screen.

"Reid, you don't have to do this," Morgan said quickly.

Pushing himself out Garcia's grasp, he ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He sat in the bathtub and stared at the door as Garcia tried to get in. He grabbed his hair and held it tightly in his fists.

* * *

_The monster laid on top of him on the couch, he was still dressed but hands kept touching him. He kept getting kissed, he hated his mouth being invaded. Reid felt a tear escape and roll down his cheek. He let out a small whine as a tongue licked it away. He looked up into the eyes of his abuser and only saw hunger, a hunger for him. "I love these lips, Spencer."_

_Reid stayed silent as the monster's lips kissed down his neck. He yelped as teeth bit into his shoulder. He panicked as the monster stood up and lifted him into a fireman's carry. The living room disappeared and he got taken to the bedroom. He got dumped on the bed and restrained to it. He was left alone for a few minutes before his abuser came back in with a candle and sat on top of him. His t-shirt got lifted._

_"Time to have a little fun," the monster smiled._

_Reid cried out as the wax poured onto his stomach. The monster smiled before bringing the candle up and letting more of it burn. He poured some more wax on Reid's chest causing the young man pain._

* * *

"YOU PROMISED ME IT WAS OVER!" Reid screamed. He didn't want to see the monster or kiss the bastard again. He didn't want to kiss the lips off the man who had used him as nothing more than a sexual object. He remembered each man hurting him and he remembered the monster's wrath. The door suddenly opened, he looked up to see Rossi with a key in his hands. He rushed over to Reid and knelt in front of him.

"Reid, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to do it," Reid shook.

"Garcia told me," Rossi sighed. "No-one will force you to do something that you don't want to do."

"If I don't do it then the others will get away," he sniffed. "Rossi, he wants to kiss me. I don't want to do it. He's done enough to me. You saw what he did but none of you know it feels to go through that. I felt him every time and I pleaded through the beatings. You don't know what it feels like to get strangled with a leather belt and kept in an almost constant state of asphyxiation. What am I supposed to do?

"You do what you want to do," Garcia said as she held his hand.

"I'll be letting two people like the monster get away and they'll keep hurting men, like I got hurt," Reid said before taking a deep breath and clenching his fists. "Will Morgan be outside the entire time?"

"Yes, he will. He'll be outside and he'll come in the moment you call for him. You won't go in that room without support."

"I-I'll do it," Reid said, his voice shaky and full of fear.

* * *

**The next day**

Morgan slowly brought Reid into the room, he could feel Reid's body shaking beneath his hands. They walked in front of the one way mirror. Fear ripped through Reid as he saw the monster in the room. He stood frozen and his mind dragged him into the past.

* * *

_He'd been bent over a desk, his wrists tied to a bar at the end. He heard Eli crying. Eli had been with them for a week. Harry had died brutally and he knew Eli would die horribly too. Reid couldn't say anything as the gag was tight in his mouth. Reid cried as his trousers got dragged down._

_"I'm so sorry," Eli sobbed. "He's gonna kill me if I don't."_

_"Get on with it!" the monster said gleefully as he stroked the gun down Eli's cheek._

_Reid let the tears fall as Eli began, his hips hit the desk causing him pain._

* * *

"Reid!" Morgan called bringing him out of the memory. Worried eyes looked at him. Morgan shook his head and turned to Hotch. "He can't do this."

"Bent over table," Reid muttered numbly. "Made him do it."

Hotch came over and brought Reid's face into his hands. "Reid, look at me. You're safe. He won't hurt you. He's secured with cuffs and he won't leave that room. You can walk away."

"If I walk away," Reid whispered. "I become a monster. I sacrifice those men for peace that I will never get if I do it. I won't ever be able to live with myself if I do that. I'm used goods. He might as well use me one more time."

"You're not used goods," Hotch shook his head.

Reid shrugged out of Hotch's grasp and made his way to the door. He grabbed the handle and opened it. He walked in and saw the monster at the table. Morgan stood at the door. "Stay at the door, Morgan," Reid ordered. "I'll call when I want to go."

"There's my little whore," Lincoln grinned as the door closed.

"Tell me their names," Reid said timidly before he tried to stand a little straighter.

Lincoln let out a loud cackle. "Oh, you're like a mouse trying to call up the balls to get the cheese in the trap. Sit, whore."

Reid quickly sat in the chair, he stared at his legs and cursed himself for obeying the man. It took him a few moments before he could look the monster in the eye. "I'm here, tell me the names and I'll do it."

"Do it and I'll tell you."

"No," Reid shook his head.

"Okay, how about this? Lean over and kiss me, not a quick one, a long one. I'll give you a name before the kiss and a name after the kiss.

Reid clenched his fists beneath his sleeves. "Fine. I want a name."

"Alexander Jane. Last time I checked, he had two whores of his own. Now, come here, boy."

Reid looked to the one way mirror before he got up and leaned over the table. He closed his eyes as the monster's lips smashed into his, he shook as it continued. The monster bit his lip before coming away. The urge to gag filled Reid but he knew he had to try to stay strong.

"Lean over and I'll whisper the other name."

Reid leaned back over, the monster leaned in and whispered in his ear. "Larry Harrison. Spencer, no matter where you go in life, you'll be my whore. I was your first and I made all of those men ride you to make sure that you'd never forget I was your first. Did you really think I couldn't get out of a pair of handcuffs?"

Reid cried out as two strong hands suddenly grabbed him and dragged him across the table.

**Please review! I got my nickname for a reason! Cliffy queen has struck.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know, I'm evil with my cliffhangers. That's why I'm nicknamed the evil empress and the cliffhanger queen. If you met me, you would agree with the first nickname as I cackle like a witch. I want to put up a new profile picture but I'm not sure whether to do a dark version with me or something else. Thanks again for being such great readers. You're brilliant. Enjoy and I'd love to know what you think. You're going to hate Lincoln even more after this chapter. There is an end game with Lincoln and it's going to involve Reid. It's gonna be epic but you have to keep reading to see.****  
**

** Thank you for the amazing reviews. You're incredible and absolutely awesome. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt an arm around his throat as the monster dragged him to his feet and backed into the corner. Morgan rushed into the room with his gun drawn. "Lincoln, put him down."

"Morgan," Reid wheezed fearfully. A cry of pain got cut off as the arm around his throat got tighter. He was using him as a shield.

Morgan took a step forward but stopped when Lincoln clicked his tongue. "You take another step, I'll break his neck. It'll take me less than a second. You really thought that handcuffs would hold me."

Morgan felt anger as he watched Lincoln use Reid to block his shot. Reid's face scrunched up into one of disgust as Lincoln sniffed his hair. He watched as his little brother tried to break free. Hotch was outside. He knew that if his boss entered, that might make things worse.

"I want you to say three little words, Agent Morgan," Lincoln said. "I want you to say them and then, I'll let the little whore go. I failed him. Repeat those words."

Reid tried to shake his head, knowing that the monster was taunting his friend. He didn't want Morgan to feel that way.

"SAY IT!" Lincoln screamed.

"I-I failed him!" Morgan yelled back. "I failed him."

Lincoln absorbed the words and let out a content sigh.

Reid felt the monster press up against him, he felt his excitement as he did. He panicked and tried to get away. He felt hot breath on his ear. "I'll come for you when you least expect it. When I come for you, I'll pound you into oblivion."

He lost his balance as he got shoved forward and smacked into the floor. Reid scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room. Hotch rushed into the room and quickly restrained Lincoln. He kicked out the man's knees and roughly handcuffed his hands. "Morgan, go and find him. I got this."

Morgan rushed out of the room and panicked when he couldn't find Reid. He searched the halls and stopped when he heard small sobs coming from a storage closet. Slowly opening the door, he saw his little brother curled into a ball, rocking back and forth. He stepped in and gently put his hand on his shoulder. Reid cried out and shuffled away.

"Don't touch me," he said. "The other man is Larry Harrison. Don't touch me!"

"I'm so sorry," Morgan said as his hand stayed hovering over his friend's shoulder. "We're going to find out how he got out of the handcuffs. I'm so sorry you had to do that."

"He's going to get out." Reid said, shaking his head and continuing to rock back and forth. "He's going to get out, find me and hurt me again."

"No, he won't!"

"He kidnapped and hid me from you all for a whole year. You underestimate him."

"I promise, on my life, that you will never be hurt by that man again. He'll never touch you again. I've seen the videos and I'm not ever going to let you go through that again. I made a promise to your mother that I'd support you and that I would never let any one hurt you again. I'm not breaking that promise. It's okay."

Reid leaned against Morgan and broke down. Morgan sat next to him and held.

"It's okay, you're safe now. I'm not going to let any one hurt you."

"Don't let him get me," Reid cried. "Morgan, don't let him hurt me."

* * *

Reid laid on the hotel bed, the covers over him. He liked being able to block the world off. He curled into a ball. He remembered the monster's words in his ear when he'd been grabbed in the interrogation room.

* * *

_A dirty movie played on the television as the monster continued to use him. He opened his mouth. Something was wrong, there was too much pain. He cried out as the monster got faster. "Stop! Something's wrong! he screamed. "STOP IT!"_

_The monster continued causing Reid to screech. A heavy weight collapsed on him as the monster finished. Reid cried as the monster got up. He felt dizzy and slumped against the floor. He screamed as the monster poured something to his private area. It burned fiercely._

_He got brought up from the floor and put against the sofa, his hands still tied in front of him. A cigarette got shoved in his mouth. The monster lit it and sat next to Reid. "You better smoke that or we'll go for a visit to the tools."_

_Bringing his shaking hands up, Reid took a drag from the cigarette and took it from his mouth. They sat in silence as they smoked. One, using the cigarette for the ending of his sick high and the other, forced to smoke or else face pain. The monster noticed Reid thinking._

_"What are you thinking?"_

_"I'm not thinking about anything," Reid said, his voice dead and stoic._

_The monster grabbed his jaw. "Tell me what you're thinking or I'll make you get on your knees."_

_Reid look at the monster. "I was thinking that by smoking this cigarette, it takes away six minutes of my life. Six minutes that you'll never get."_

_Reid fell to the floor as he was back-handed across the face. His cigarette falling to the floor. The monster stomped it out before dragging Reid to his knees by his hair._

* * *

"Kid," Morgan said as he brought the cover away. He saw Reid laying on the bed, his eyes vacant and lost. He sat on the edge of the bed, holding the book that he had brought from home. One that had been kept in storage till now. "Kid, I have something for you."

He slid the book under Reid's hand. Reid brought the book closer and hugged it close to him. The Narrative of John Smith. The book that Maeve had left him. Morgan placed the cover back over him and left him alone. He knew that Reid needed to get out how he was feeling and any thing he said, wouldn't help till he was calm.

* * *

Hotch sat in the car as he watched the forensic unit go over the house. Everything that Reid had gone through was for nothing. Alexander Jane was dead, they had found his rotting corpse hung in the bathroom. They still awaited confirmation on the identities of the body but Hotch already knew the truth. Two men were in his basement, their skulls bashed in and their bodies rotting too. All three men had been dead for a long time. Probably since Lincoln's arrest. He hit the steering wheel repeatedly. He had already received a phone call from the lead officer who had gone to arrest Larry Harrison. It was the same story. Harrison had committed suicide and a young man's body was found in the freezer, a gunshot to his head. His body had been relatively preserved.

"Deal is off, you son of a bitch!" Hotch growled to himself. Lincoln had played a game with them. No more games were going to get played on his watch when it came to Reid.

* * *

Reid stared at the book in his hands, he stroked the cover and closed his eyes.

* * *

_He twitched as his fever continued to ravage his body. He was sick, really sick and nothing was helping. He had caught an infection, from the wounds on his back. The monster had gone somewhere for medicine. He vomited through the bars and let out a moan. He felt a hand on his face. Opening his eyes, they widened._

_"Am I dead?" he whispered._

_"No, but you're going to die if he doesn't come back with medicine. Oh, Spencer. I miss you."_

_"I miss you too, Maeve. I want to come with you. I can't stay here," he cried as he laid his head against the floor. "I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much. Maeve, save me."_

_"Shhh...you have to hang on. Your team is coming. You know they are."_

_"They've not come for me and it's been so long. Where are they?"_

_"They are coming but you can't give up. He's a monster and you can't let monsters win."_

_"It's impossible for the team to find me. My head hurts," he cried. "Everything hurts. He hurts me. Maeve, stay here. Don't leave me, please."_

_"Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools," Maeve said as she looked into his eyes. "You're not a fool. You're an incredible man with an incredible mind. You know I can't stay here but you know that they will come for you. Don't give up hope. I love you and I'll see you when you're ready."_

_Reid closed his eyes and let out a small sob. He opened them and saw that Maeve had disappeared. Not only was his body torturing him, now his mind was too. He curled up into a ball and begged for sleep to let his mind rest._

* * *

He came back to reality and wiped tears from the book. He placed it on his pillow and got out of bed. Morgan was asleep in the other bed. He made his way out of the bed and into the bathroom. He turned the hot water on and watched as steam filled the mirror. He brought up his finger and drew in the steam. Writing a word that wouldn't leave his mind alone. He finished and left the bathroom. He crept to the door and left the hotel room.

* * *

Morgan woke up and scrunched his tired eyes shut. He slowly got up and noticed that the bed was empty next to him. He saw the bathroom door open. "Reid," he called.

He went to the bathroom and stopped when he found a word on the mirror.

Whore.

**Please review**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. Only one update today as I got home later than I thought. Sorry about that and I'm sorry if you read my cleansing the evil fanfic. I'm actually going to post the last two chapters for that tomorrow along with the regular update for this and I'm also updating Saving Blood tomorrow. So, you get four updates! I hope that will make up for today. I'm also thinking of starting a new fanfic but that might not be till sometime next week. I'm debating whether to do one with a supernatural edge to it as I've recently got a few message asking for a fanfic like that or one that would be AU. The AU one would focus on Reid as a teenager in trouble and of course, feature Reid whump. I want to do something different. I'd love to know which one you would like and, don't forget to review and tell me what you think of the chapter.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I love you and you're the most amazing people in the entire world, no wait, the universe. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review, go on and review!  
**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat on the beach, he watched as the sun began to rise. He had walked all the way to the beach, he knew that Morgan would be angry about him leaving the hotel room but he just needed time on his own. He enjoyed watching the waves come onto the beach. He remembered a dream he had, one that had given him some salvation during his time with the monster. The entire team had been at the beach with him in his dream. Henry ran around and laughed as he played with his mother. Garcia set up a picnic basket for them all and they had all enjoyed the selections of food. Morgan teased him for not being able to catch the ball all the time. Hotch had been there with Beth and Jack while Blake and Rossi had enjoyed talking with each other. He remembered that dream clearly and hated the way he had gotten ripped from it.

* * *

_Reid moaned as he opened his eyes, coming away from the wonderful dream. He realised that he was moving. He clinched the bed sheet as the monster continued. He stared at the wall and tried not to cry. He cringed as a hand ran through his hair._

_"Almost there!" the monster said through gritted teeth._

_The monster collapsed on top of him as he finished. "I need something good to start my morning," the monster chuckled._

_They laid there, silent for a minute before the monster spoke. "You should appreciate what I do for you, Spencer. No woman could give you what I give you and it was only a matter of time before someone killed you if you had stayed out in the world. I've seen your record when it comes to the criminals you catch. You've been in the sight of danger before. I brought you away from that. Here, you're safe. I feed you, clothe you and make sure that you are kept under a roof," he said before stroking his hand down Reid's body. "This is all I want in return. I'm never going to let you go, Spencer. You're mine and I will use you as I wish."_

_"You took me from my family," Reid said, his voice shaking. "You took away my innocence. You took something you had no right to take! I hate you, I always will. You think I should thank you. I think you're a monster. You rape, beat and hurt me because you get off on it. I am not yours to use as you wish. I belong to nobody but myself. You can't get into the one place you really want to, my mind."_

_Reid laughed as he felt a small amount of courage come up._

_"You want nothing more than for me to break and I won't do it. You're just a coward with a tiny piece of equipment."_

_The monster's eyes widened and stared down at him with hate and fury burning in his eyes._

_"Did I hit a nerve?" Reid smirked. "They'll find me. My family will find me and when they do, they'll make you pay. Go to hell, you sick fuck!"_

_"TINY!" the monster yelled. The hand in his hair dragged him out of the bed and into the hall. They came to the room with the tools. Reid collided with the floor. He tried to scramble away but failed as a punch came into the back of his head._

_Hours later, he laid in his hole, unconscious, bloody and his body barely holding on._

* * *

Reid snapped out of the memory and wiped the tears from his cheeks. It was that day he learned the true cost of his bravery. For days, it hurt him to breathe and he could barely move. No food, barely any water. The monster had gagged him, blocked his ears so he couldn't hear and blindfolded him. Cutting him off completely from the world.

"Reid!"

Turning around, he watched Morgan walk towards him. He looked back to the sea to watch the sun. Morgan sat beside him and quickly checked him over. "Are you hurt, kid?"

"I'm not hurt. No-one hurt me during my walk here."

Morgan grabbed Reid by the arms, scaring him slightly. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been?! You can't just do that. You can't leave the hotel room. Any thing could have happened to you!"

"I just needed time alone. I had a dream once that we all came to a beach like this one. We had a picnic together and we laughed."

"Why did you write whore on the mirror?"

"It's how I feel all the time," he sighed. "I feel like it all the time. It's hard to get rid of that feeling after what he did to me. You've never woken up to find yourself being raped. That was the same morning I discovered the true cost of bravery. He almost killed me after what I said. I went into that room with him yesterday and I let him touch me. He'll find me again, Morgan. When he does, he'll kill me. At least, he gave us the names. I sold myself with a kiss and his payment was two names."

Reid noticed the look on Morgan's face. "Morgan, what's wrong?"

"Reid, the men that he gave us are dead. Suicide. The men they had with them were dead too."

A look of disgust came on Reid's face. He got to his feet. Reid let out a scream before hitting himself in the head. Morgan rushed over and grabbed his hands. "Kid, stop it."

"No, let me go. I did that for nothing. He got his sick pleasure from me!"

"It's okay. He's going to fry. He broke the deal."

Reid pushed Morgan away. "THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY! He's already done the damage. He dies and that is the end for him. I get to live with every thing he did. I can't ever have a normal life again because of that monster. No-one came for me. You didn't come soon enough. He's done the damage and now I have the scars. None of you have scars like I do. I know you suffered abuse by Buford but this isn't the same. You weren't treated like an animal and used almost daily."

Morgan watched as Reid let it all out.

"Every time he hurt me, I felt like nothing. I feel like nothing."

Surging forward, Morgan grabbed Reid by his arms. "You are not nothing. I know Buford isn't the same. What I do know, is how much it hurts being hurt that way. I understand the humiliation and I understand what it feels like to lose your innocence. I'll never truly understand what you went through because it isn't the same. I was able see my family after it happened and I was able go home. You weren't able to see us and you suffered a year of continual abuse. Day after day. I want to help you and I am not going to accept you talking about yourself like that. You're not nothing. Do you think Henry and baby Spencer think of you as nothing? They adore you and Henry missed you. He cried because you disappeared."

Morgan continued as Reid stayed silent. "Your mother thinks the world of you and you are everything to her. Spencer Reid, you are my little brother and I am not going to let you down. I know we didn't come for you soon enough and it breaks my heart that you have gone through so much. I know that some scars never go away but I do know that you can overcome what he did to you and you can gain back your life. You told me that he could never reach you inside your mind during that time. Don't you dare let him win now."

"I won't let him win, if you promise that I'll never have to see him again," Reid said, his voice wobbling. "I can't get my life back as long as I have to see that monster. I can't see him again!"

"You never have to see him again. I promise."

"Morgan, I really want to go home now."

"Okay, I'm going to take you home."

* * *

Hotch came to the hotel room and found Reid watching television. They were going to the airport to go home. Lincoln had been denied his deal and was going to face all charges against him. Hotch was going for the death sentence on the bastard. Morgan came forward and caught Hotch before he could talk to Reid. They went outside the hotel room.

"Is he okay?" Hotch asked.

"No, and the progress he made before may have been destroyed by his visit to Lincoln. He's still traumatized and he's petrified that Lincoln will get out and come for him. He feels like he is a whore all the time and he's struggling to break that feeling. The son of a bitch raped him as he woke up in the mornings. Hotch, I know what it feels like to lose something precious, something that you never wanted to lose that way. He needs help, a lot of it. We can't give up on him. He can't go down a dark path because trust me, we won't get him back."

"He won't go down that path," Hotch said.

"You think you won't and then you do. Trust me, self-destruction isn't unusual in cases like this. You hate yourself and then it gets worse. He needs to have a normal life again and we can't let him focus on the bad memories. They are like small drops of poison. When enough of them come forward, we'll lose him."

"I'm not losing him again," Hotch said. "Lincoln is going to pay for what he did and Reid will witness him dying. Then, he'll know that the bastard won't ever be able to get to him."

**Please review**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. So my four updates are now three but there are updates along all three current stories. I'll be posting the last chapter of Cleansing the evil tomorrow. My christmas tree fell down so I had to spend part of my evening securing and redecorating it. That thing is out to get me. I've now got a clear answer about what fanfic I want to do next and I'll let you know soon. Enjoy this chapter and I'd love to know what you think. I value all your opinions.  
**

**Thank you so much, you're wonderful and I want to bow down to you all at how kind you are all to me. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**One week later**

Reid sat in Garcia's office with her. Morgan was now back at work and they didn't want to leave him alone. He carefully painted the model of the Tardis that he had assembled himself. He enjoyed painting the blue on. He had to go slowly and do everything delicately. There was something calming about painting the model. Over the last week, he had completed other models and made other things. Garcia had given him some clay and an array of arts and craft pieces for him to use. He had to admit that it kept his mind busy. Garcia loved the jeweled rose he had made her. He had modeled it carefully, trimming parts to give it a neat and well made look. After he had painted it and glued small red jewels all over the piece. The rose now had a place of pride on her desk.

The Tardis model he had assembled, he knew he would keep. The team wanted him to keep him busy and he was thankful for the distraction. He didn't want to think about the monster or his time in Florida. The memories still came but the team monitored him and snapped him out of them when they could. Sometimes he had to endure the memory if no-one noticed or wasn't there with him.

He concentrated as he painted each letter on the Tardis with a fresh brush. He looked up when he felt eyes on him. Garcia smiled down at him. "You always look so calm when you're doing a craft project," she said.

"It helps keep my mind busy and after a year of not being able to use my imagination, it's nice to use it and create things from scratch. You don't mind me doing this in here, do you?"

"No, I love watching you paint and sculpt," she smiled. "You're safe here and we can keep an eye on you here."

"I like being here," Reid said as he pushed the model to the side for it to dry. "It's strange. Before everything, when we worked a rough week, I couldn't wait to get out of here and go home. Now, I love being here."

A knock came at the door, disturbing their talk. Kevin Lynch came into the room. "Garcia, we need your help. Mason went and screwed up again."

"Seriously," Garcia said with annoyance in her voice. "Why did the FBI even hire that man? Reid, do you want me to get someone to sit with you? I have to go and deal with this."

"No, I'll be fine. I've got plenty of craft things to do. It's okay, I'll be fine."

Garcia kissed his head before ruffling his hair playfully. She walked out with Kevin, making sure to close the door. He brought out a box and a small tool pouch. He opened the box and brought out what was inside. He was building an electric car from scratch for Henry. He still had a few more things to assemble and he still had to put the cover on, and then paint it. After working on the car for ten minutes, his mind began to go back.

"No," he whispered. His whisper was no use.

* * *

_Reid watched as the monster downed more and more alcohol. He was laying on the couch, his arms bound above him and tied to a part of metal on the couch. A gag prevented him from talking and his legs were bound as well. He winced as the man sat on his small thighs. The weight of the monster hurting him. The monster put his hand under Reid's t-shirt and smiled. "You're such a pretty one."_

_The monster then stroked Reid's face and let out a sigh. "You know, it isn't easy. I got no choice to do this. All those bastards out there think that they know what it's like to have darkness inside. A hunger you can't fill. They don't know. Only I know. I watch you too, Spencer. You and that little profiler head of yours."_

_Pausing, the man took a swig of his drink and let out a small cough. "You think you know me but you don't. I know you though. You're mine," he laughed. "I've had every part of you. You squirm and try to get away but I know you like it. You enjoy being touched."_

_Reid shook his head and tried to tug at the rope. It didn't budge._

_"YES, YOU DO!" the monster shouted in his face before ripping out his gag. "SAY YOU ENJOY IT!"_

_"No," Reid whispered. "I don't like it!"_

_A slap came across his face causing it to burn. The monster grabbed his face and held it roughly. "SAY YOU LIKE IT. STOP LYING!"_

_Reid shook his head and closed his eyes. "No."_

_The monster got off him and put a DVD in. He cut the rope holding Reid's hand to the couch but didn't cut it from his wrists. The monster dragged him up and forced him to sit on his lap. The DVD began to play. Reid watched a recording of the monster during one of their other sessions. "Look at the screen and tell me you enjoy it. Tell me that you want it."_

_"No," Reid sobbed. "I don't want it. I'll never want it."_

_His body collided with the floor as the monster shoved him off his lap. He hit the floor. Hands forced him to his hands and knees before ripping away his trousers. "I'll make you want it!"_

* * *

He came out the memory to find blood dripping from his clenched fist. He opened it and realised he had squeezed a small metallic part that was for the electric car he was building for Henry. He hissed as he pulled the piece of metal from his hand. He cradled his hand close and left Garcia's office. He went down to the bull pen and saw Blake was the only one there. He walked over. "Blake, I need some help."

Blake turned around and immediately dropped her pen. She took his hand and led him to the kitchen where she ran it under the water. "Reid, what happened?"

"I don't know," he said. "I slipped into a memory and when I came out it, my hand had clenched around a small sharp piece of a kit I'm doing. Garcia is dealing with a problem with another tech."

Blake washed it before grabbing a first aid kit. She noticed other agents staring at them and decided to take Reid somewhere more private. "Let's go somewhere a bit more private. Hotch is in his office and he'll want to know about this."

He followed her as she held his hand open. They reached Hotch's office and found the door open. "Hotch, can we come in?"

Hotch looked up and saw Blake holding a first aid kit and Reid's bloody hand. "Come in," he said as he got up and closed the door behind them. "What happened?"

"He had a flashback," Blake said. Her eyes met Hotch's eyes and they both shared a silent message. "He came out it and found himself clenching a piece of metal in his hands, it cut his hand. It's a long cut."

"I'm sorry," Reid said.

"Don't say sorry for something you don't have to be sorry for," Blake smiled gently before she poured some liquid on a cotton ball. "This will hurt a little. You don't need proper stitches, just some butterfly stitches."

Reid hissed as Blake dabbed some peroxide on the cut. "I'm sorry, Reid. I just need to clean it so it doesn't get infected."

She placed the butterfly stitches over the cut before picking up a bandage and wrapping it around his hand. She finished and looked up at him. "There you go."

"Thanks, Blake."

"Reid, do you want to talk about the memory?" Hotch asked.

Reid looked down at his hand before looking up to face Hotch. "He got drunk and started yelling at me. Kept telling me that I did want it. He got angry when I wouldn't say it. He pushed me to my hands and knees. He raped me while making me watch another one of our sessions. He got so violent when he got drunk. He was brutal when he got drunk. I'm going to go and continue with my project if that's okay."

"Okay," Hotch nodded. "Reid, we're here when you need to talk or if you need help. Always remember that."

"I know," Reid said before leaving the room.

* * *

**A few days later**

Reid hid the finished car behind his back in a box as he stood in the garden. He saw Henry walk over. "Hi, Uncle Spence."

"Hey, Henry. I got a present for you. I built it all myself and I hope you like it," he said before bringing out the box and giving it to Henry. Taking it carefully, Henry put it on a nearby chair and opened it. Reid grinned as he watched Henry's face lighten up. Henry ran over to Reid and hugged around his waist.

"Thank you, Uncle Spence! I love it. Did you really build it yourself?"

"I did," Reid said. "Do you really like it?"

"I really do. You're the best!" Henry said before hugging Reid again. He ruffled Henry's hair and couldn't stop the smile coming across his face. He might not always be able to fight the memories, but he could make Henry happy and that was all that mattered to him.

* * *

_Reid began to cry out as his mind began to hurt. The walls turned into blurs and his skin burned. He heard footsteps coming behind him. He turned around and screamed when he saw a monster behind him. It's skin was completely charred and blood dripped from its mouth. "NOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!"_

_The monster grabbed him and pinned him to the floor. "NOOO!"_

_He felt pain rip through him and his body began to move violently. The monster was violating him. The walls around him began to shout and urge the demon on. "SOMEONE HELP ME!"_

_A clawed hand came over his mouth but he only screamed more._

* * *

Reid jolted up in his bed, he looked around and struggled to get his breath back. He remembered that time, it was when the monster had slipped LSD into his water. Stumbling out of bed, he heard voices downstairs. He left his room and heard the team downstairs. He let out a small sob before collapsing against the wall and to the floor. "Help," he whispered but knew they didn't hear him. He brought his knees up and continued to cry.

**Please review**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry for not updating yesterday but I had to bake a few things for some friends. I always find that a weird combination in myself. I'm great at torturing people in my fics but I bake cupcakes and brownies, even pies sometimes. Again, I'm really sorry and I hope you can forgive me. Enjoy and I'd love to know what you think. You're wonderful to me as readers. I watched Zugzwang again today, the ending always gets me.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're awesome and you are pure excellence. I love you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**One week later**

Morgan sat at his desk, he thanked the mail clerk as they came by. He flipped through the mail but stopped when he found one from a Florida Prison. His hand shook as he held the envelope. He opened it slowly to find a letter inside.

_Hello, Agent Morgan_

_I'm writing to you to tell you about my further adventures with your little friend, Spencer. He enjoyed our time together and I want to let you in on a little secret. Prison isn't too bad. I've found another toy for now. I also have friends who enjoy the company of their toys too. You thought you sent me into hell. I consider this a wonderful vacation from the world._

_How is my wonderful whore doing? I do miss him and the noises he would make. He will never escape me. I bet he screams during the night when he remembers me. You may want to check his fertility. I was going to wait to tell you but I just can't keep it in any longer. Let's just say that his food wasn't completely clean. His is my property and he is always will be. He's never going to have anything but my touch._

_You didn't think I had plans for this scenario? Of course, I did._

_Any hopes he has of the future. Of having a family or children. They are hopes that will never come true._

_You should have been there when he laid in bed with me, the sound of his heart sent me to sleep. He enjoyed waking up to a fun time, the first time, he couldn't even speak because of the pleasure he was feeling._

_You should take a piece of him. Well, if you can find anything left._

_Look forward to seeing you at the trial,_

_Lincoln, Spencer's lover_

Morgan kicked back his chair, ignoring the looks from the other agents. He stormed up to Hotch's office and opened the door. He walked in to find Rossi talking with Hotch. "Morgan, what is it?" Rossi asked.

He said nothing as he passed the letter to Hotch. Rossi came behind Hotch and read the letter over his shoulder. They both looked up when they finished. "Reid's fertility," Rossi said. "What did he do to Reid?"

"I think he put drugs in Reid's food. A plan, if, he got captured and imprisoned. We need to take Reid to a doctor. We need to know. If he's damaged Reid's fertility, that could have huge implications for Reid's recovery."

"He taunting us," Morgan said angrily. "The son of a bitch is taunting us. I will see him at the trial next week. Fucker will be lucky if he even makes it to the execution room before I kill him!"

"Morgan, we are just as angry are you. It's important that we calm down. Lincoln will pay for what he did to Reid. We need to do this through the system. He'll die but through an execution. I want Reid to face his abuser. We need to give him some closure."

* * *

Reid sat in the hospital a few days later. They were waiting for the results from a fertility test that he had taken. Hotch and Morgan had told him about the monster and the letter. Worry plagued him now. He didn't really know what he was going to do. The only time he had considered having children was when he was with Maeve. He remembered having dreams about her being pregnant after her death. He remembered dreaming of futures that he could never have. Deep down, he hoped that he was able to have children. The monster had taken enough from him. He hoped that he had managed to hold on to something. He had asked Blake to come with him. He felt better with her being the one with him. He knew it was a ridiculous thought but he felt like the men would look at him differently.

Almost as if he was less than a man.

Dr Brown came into the room with a file in her hands. "Hello, Spencer," she smiled before turning to Blake. "You are?"

"I'm Alex Blake, I'm here to support Spencer. He felt more comfortable having a female presence here with him."

"I have the results back from your test."

Reid knew by the look on her face that the news wasn't good. "I can't have children. I can tell by your behaviour."

"I'm very sorry to tell you this. Your test came back and we double checked just so we knew for sure. You're sterile, Spencer. You won't be able to conceive a child in the future."

Blake watched Reid's eyes tear up, he looked down at his lap and closed his eyes. "What could have caused this?" she asked.

"Judging by what you told me, it's possible that the sterility was caused by drugs being put in his food. There are medications and chemicals out there can cause it during long term use. We can't reverse the damage. There are other options for you, Spencer. If you choose to start a family, there are options."

"He took things from me. I thought I could hold on to one thing but I guess I can't even do that. I-I don't know how to process all this," he said before shaking his head. "It isn't fair. I don't deserve this."

Blake got out of her chair and knelt beside him. She put her hand on his face. "You can still have a family, Reid. There are other options like she said. You have a family now and we'll help you get through this. I know you don't deserve this. You deserve to have everything you could ever want. This doesn't make you less of anything. I know that is how you feel and you can't let yourself feel that way."

"Why did he do it?" Reid said, waving his hand in frustration. "He's took everything from me. I can't deal with this."

Blake turned to the doctor. "I need to get him home."

"I understand," Dr Brown nodded. "Here, take this though. It's information on different options for what he can do in the future. I am very sorry. I knew that you were hoping for better news."

* * *

JJ and Blake watched Reid sit at the window. He stared outside into the street. He had remained quiet since coming back from the fertility appointment. He had refused to talk to anyone.

"I'm really worried," JJ said. "He hasn't said anything. He won't even drink or eat anything."

"He's in shock," Blake shook her head. "He's just found out that he won't ever have children."

"Why is this happening to him?" JJ fumed before storming into the kitchen and putting on the coffee. "He deserves to have a wife and little children running around when he is ready. He spent a year in hell where that bastard did unspeakable things to him. He deserves happiness and instead, all he gets is this continual psychological torture by Lincoln."

* * *

Reid stared out of the window, he leaned his head against the glass.

_He didn't move as he got pulled from his dark hole. He stayed limp as the monster carried him to the bedroom. It had been a year since he'd been taken. The fight was leaving him. It was easier to let things happen, he didn't have the energy to fight back now. He barely made a face when things began. A hand gripped his hair and pulled it back. "What's wrong with you?"_

_He stayed silent. He let out a pained moans as the monster became more brutal but he still didn't fight back. He gritted his teeth as the monster began to beat his back with a belt repeatedly while using him._

_"What is wrong with you?!"_

_The monster finished, scraping his hands over the cuts. He got off and left the room. Reid laid on the bed and closed his eyes. "Let's see if this makes you react."_

_He screamed as salt hit his back._

Coming out of the memory, he saw JJ walking to him with a cup of coffee. He shook his head at her and she stopped in her tracks. "Spencer, please at least drink something."

He got off the window edge and quickly made his way up the stairs. JJ flinched as she heard his door slam.

* * *

Morgan came home and walked up to Reid's bedroom. JJ and Blake had told them what had happened at the appointment. He used his key to unlock the door and made his way in. He turned on the light and found Reid in the corner, asleep against the wall. Sitting in front of him, he brought his hand up and shook Reid's shoulder. "Kid, wake up."

Reid stirred and looked at Morgan. "Kid, talk to me. Are you okay?"

Reid shook his head but refused to talk. It worried Morgan that Reid was refusing to talk.

"You'll still have a family in the future and you have one now. I know it isn't the same as you want but we are still here to look after you and support you. Just please talk to me."

"Please, go away," Reid whispered.

"You need to talk."

"I don't need to talk to any one," Reid shook his head. "Please, respect my wishes and leave me alone. I want some time to myself."

He sighed and knew that Reid wasn't going to give him anything. He got up, went to the beside table and brought out some pen and paper. "I'll leave you alone but I'll be back soon. Lincoln's trial is in two days and we need a statement from you. In your own words. This is your chance to have how you feel brought to the case and it will help get this bastard the death sentence. Tell them how he made you feel. I know you can do this and this gives you a chance to get everything out at Lincoln."

Morgan got up and left the room. Reid stared at the pen and paper. He picked up the pen after a while and placed it on the paper.

**Please review**

**Next, the trial of Lincoln has arrived!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I've tried to make this nice and long for you all. I know you all like a nice long chapter. Here is the trial. I've done it the way I have because I'll be honest, I only know some stuff about American trials. It isn't completely accurate but I do hope it is okay. I know, I was quite evil with what I did but as Namira pointed out. It's something permanent that he can't ever overcome. The one thing he'll never get back from the monster. Reid's letter being read to the court is long but not too long, imagine he has quite big writing. I do now because of my hands. Enjoy and I really hope you review. I promise a nice long chapter tomorrow too if you do.  
**

**I know I'm evil but you all know you love it. I am actually a nice person to meet if not slightly cooky.**

**SpanishGirl - Unsub! I'm not an unsub. Evil devil with a black throne, yes. But never an unsub. Thank you for reviewing. Would a vanilla, chocolate centered, chocolate buttercream topped cupcake compensate for the mental anguish I'm causing? I'm a good baker.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you just give me such a lift when I'm a bit down. You're wonderful and you all deserve awards. Thank you! Sorry for long intro. I do it rarely.  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan came back up the stairs, two hours later. He found a few pages of paper neatly folded three times with string keeping it together with a message on top. Morgan picked up the piece of paper and read the words.

_I don't want you to read this till the trial. Please, promise me that you'll only read it in court. I want them to know what he truly has done to me._

_Please leave me alone. I will accept food left outside but I need to stay alone to process things._

_I'll talk when I'm ready. After a year of being alone with that monster, I need some alone time with myself. Don't force me to do things I don't want to do._

_I love you all and I know you are there but I need time alone._

_Spencer_

Picking up the other pages, he stared at the door. "Just call if you need anything, kid."

He walked back down the stairs where Blake still sat in his kitchen. JJ had gone home after Will needed help with the baby and Henry. Rossi had come over an hour ago to check on Reid.

"How is he?" Blake asked.

"Reid doesn't want anyone to disturb him. He wants some alone time. Here, read this," Morgan said as he put the letter on the counter. Blake and Rossi leaned over and read the letter quickly. They looked back to him. He held up the small bundle of paper. "I estimate that there are about three pages here. Like he said, he doesn't want any one to read it till the trial in two days. I think I'm going to make him some food. He'll accept it if I leave it outside his door."

"He's just had a hard shock," Rossi said before sighing. "I thought he could have a family and a normal life once we got him past every thing that Lincoln did. God, I can't imagine how he is feeling."

"None of us can," Blake said. "Lincoln keeps putting him through this psychological torture and it isn't fair."

* * *

Reid sat in his room, eating the McDonald's that Morgan had left outside his door. He couldn't help but let out a small smile when he found a cupcake in there. A cupcake that only one woman had the recipe to. Writing the letter had made him feel better. Some parts he had struggled to write, but it felt comforting to have his own words on the paper. He had written three full pages and he hoped that his words made some difference.

* * *

Lincoln sat in the back of the prison van as he got transferred for his trial. He knew the whore wouldn't be at the trial but he had his memories of his time with him.

_He enjoyed watching Spencer as the young man struggled in his arms. He dragged him into the living room and placed him on the couch. Ripping out the gag, he smashed his lips into Spencer's lips and made sure his touch was felt. He came away and unbuckled his belt. After a month, the young man was learning how to take it properly._

_"Please, don't," Spencer cried. "Please, no."_

_He quivered with excitement as he heard the boy cry. He rolled him to his stomach and began._

_"Ah!" Spencer cried out. He began his session with his whore. He buried Spencer's head against the couch and watched him cry out with each movement._

"Lincoln!" the prison guard called, snapping him out of the memory. Lincoln cursed the guard and knew if he had a knife, he'd put it to good use.

* * *

Morgan and Hotch sat in the court. Both of them watched the bustle around them as every one seated themselves. They were both being called up as witnesses and Reid's letter given to the prosecutor.

"Please stand for Judge Black," a bailiff called out. Every one in the court seated themselves after they got instructed to, the jury all took their places. The judge came into the room and sat down.

"We are here today for the trial of Lincoln Peters. Please bring in the defendant."

Morgan brought his hands into fists as he watched the guards lead Lincoln into the room, being placed next to his lawyer.

"Lincoln Hanson," Judge Black began. "You are here today to face charges that are both serious and horrific in their nature. You're charged with the murder of seven men. Six of who you kidnapped and killed in your own home. One believed to be your accomplice in another matter. You are also charged with the kidnap of Timothy Farrow . You're charged with the kidnapping Dr Spencer Reid, subjecting him to multiple rapes and sexual assaults as well as torturing him, drugging him and holding him against his will for a year. You are also charged with the attempted murder of Dr Spencer Reid. How do you plead to these charges?"

"Not guilty," Lincoln said with a smirk.

Morgan grabbed Hotch's arm when he noticed his boss almost charge out of his seat. "Don't, Hotch."

Hotch sat back and calmed himself down.

"Prosecution, please step forward and present your case."

The prosecution lawyer was a man called Gregory Kreve. Hotch had looked at his record and it was a good one.

"Members of the jury," Gregory said. "Lincoln Peters, is a man who has brought pain and misery to many people. His victims and their families have all suffered. I am here today asking that they get justice for what has been done to them. There is one victim in particular that has suffered at his hand that I want to bring to your attention. Dr Spencer Reid."

"Dr Spencer Reid had a normal life and was, in fact, a respected member of the FBI's behavioural analysis unit."

"Objection!" the defendant called out. "Relevance?"

"Credibility of a witness," Gregory said back.

"I'll allow," the judge nodded.

"Spencer got taken from his home by force and taken to Lincoln Peters home. For a year, subjected to physical, psychological and sexual abuse. Raped on countless occasions, beaten at points within an inch of his life and had other victims forced upon him."

Gregory walked to the table and took a letter from the table. "This has already been entered into evidence. This is a letter, written by Dr Spencer Reid, two days ago. He could not come here personally. I want to read this to you all so you can know, in Spencer's words, what truly happened and how it has affected him."

He opened the letter, surprised that the defence had not objected.

"To the court, my name is Dr Spencer Reid. I am writing this as a statement for placement in the evidence against the monster. I cannot speak his name and I will only write it once. The monster is Lincoln Peters. He is the monster to me and he always will be. I had a normal life before he kidnapped me and held me in what I can only remember as hell. I had a family, a family consisting of my team members from the BAU. They are still my family now but I know I can never be the same man I once was to them. For over a year, the monster subjected me to regular beatings. He used tools ranging from his fists, his belt and other objects that you will see in photographed evidence. He used them all on me and I felt nothing but pain and fear when he did. I wish I could say he only beat me, but I can never say that. He raped me on more occasions that I can count. I lost count in the end. He degraded me into nothing more than a piece of meat to use for his own pleasure. Before he took me, I was a virgin and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I had not found the right person yet and I felt it was something precious to keep. He took it away from me when he raped me. He took my innocence."

Gregory continued as he briefly looked to the judge and jury.

"He made other men rape me, if they didn't, they would've been killed with the gun he put to their head. I don't blame Lincoln's other victims who raped me. They had no choice. They were, in my view, raped themselves."

He turned to page two.

"I can't sleep at night because of what he has put me through. I wake up, screaming for my friends to help me. He starved me at times and forced me to do unspeakable things for food. I have to live the rest of my life knowing what I did. Before, I thought I understood human behaviour. I'll never understand the things that happened to me but I do understand that the scars I have, both physical and mental will never disappear. The only thing keeping me alive is my family and how happy I am to be with them again. They will forever be my family but I can never truly have one that comes from me. I recently found out that the monster had hidden drugs in my food. I am now infertile due to those drugs and I can never have children. I had always hoped one day to have a child and it was a goal I wanted to achieve. It gave me direction for my recovery and now I don't have that goal. My only goal now is to write this and hope that it helps. He has taken too much from me and he has taken too much from the families of the victims. He also took something from my family. He took me."

He turned to the last page.

"I can't say his name because it brings fear into my heart, it brings forth the memories that will never go away or the pain that comes with them. He has done too much evil in this world and I fear that if he stays on it, he'll do more. He has threatened to come for me and hurt me again. I won't survive if he manages to do so. I cannot survive any more abuse and my mind can not take the trauma of being raped again. I don't know if these words will do anything but these are my words, not his. I refuse to be his puppet. I was a puppet for a year, where he pulled the strings and controlled every thing I did. He took everything from me, and now, I have to fight to get some of it back. He has taken away any hope of me ever having a normal relationship with someone special, having a child of my flesh and blood and of ever having a life where I don't have scars from his abuse.

"For those listening to these words, I hope that they help convicting this monster. To allow a monster such as him to be kept on this Earth, is cruel to his surviving victims and cruel to people he could hurt in the future. I wanted you to read these words because while my mind is scared and my voice small now, I wanted to show the monster that he won't control the rest of my life. He'll only control the memories he holds of me in his mind. For every pleasure he had, he had tears from me."

"My name is Spencer Reid and these are my words. Don't let me feel more fear. If I have a future, I want it without fear of him hiding in the shadows. Thank you for taking the time to listen to these words."

Morgan wiped his cheek as tears came down. He looked over and watched Hotch do the same.

* * *

Reid laid down in the bed, he looked to the clock and knew that the trial was going on. He had not left the room in two days, he had a connecting bathroom and the team put food outside his door. He closed his eyes and hoped that his words helped. He felt his mind go back. He didn't want to go back.

* * *

_He laid on the floor, he couldn't move a muscle and he knew his food must have had drugs in. He couldn't fight and it scared him. His eyes widened as he felt something cold below. He recognised it as a beer bottle. The monster came beside him. On the edge of his vision, he saw the monster's arms moving._

_"How does it feel?" he smiled. "You seem a little quiet."_

_Reid's eyes watered as he realised his body moved faster._

_"I like you like this. Obeying me by being so still, but your eyes still so expressive." The bottle disappeared and hands grabbed around his ankles. They began to drag him to the bedroom._

* * *

He snapped out of the memory when he heard a baby crying. Getting out of bed, he slowly opened the door and faintly heard Will calling from the downstairs bathroom. Will was obviously using the bathroom and little Spencer had begun to cry. Reid made his way downstairs and found the baby in a car seat. He picked up the baby. Little Spencer stopped crying and Reid began to make soothing noises. He held the baby against his chest. He heard the toilet flush and the sound of taps. Will came out of the bathroom and immediately saw them. "Spence."

"I'm sorry but I heard him crying," Reid said.

"That's okay," Will smiled. "You came out of your room."

"Yeah, I guess I did," he said back. "Can I hold him for a little while?"

"Of course," Will nodded before pointing to the baby now asleep comfortably against Reid's chest. "Besides, I don't think he wants to leave you. JJ will come by later with Henry. He's got an after school club and then she's going to treat him to his favourite food. I'm here to help you. Do you want anything?"

"I'm okay for now," Reid said before he walked to the couch and sat down. The baby didn't stir.

"I really want a cup of coffee. I'm going to make a cup. Keep an eye on him for me."

Reid nodded. Will went into the kitchen.

He looked down at the baby and stroked the small amount of hair on his hand. Reid's eyes welled up and his heart ached. "I wanted to have one of you."

* * *

Morgan and Hotch came back into the court room. They had been on the stand and given their statements against Lincoln earlier. The jury had also been shown all the evidence, including footage of Lincoln raping Reid, something that Hotch and Morgan couldn't watch and had stepped outside for. Lincoln's lawyer had accepted defeat and had not fought against the prosecution. Lincoln didn't seem to care. The jury had only taken two hours to come forward with a verdict.

Hotch and Morgan waited as the jury filed back in the room. One of them stood up.

"Has the jury come to a verdict?"

"We have, your honour," the woman said. "On all charges, we find the defendant, Lincoln Peters, guilty."

"Defendant, please rise," Judge Black ordered.

Lincoln stood, a horrible smirk still on his face. "Lincoln Peters, you have been found guilty on all charges put against you. You have damaged the lives of many people and traumatized a young man who had a bright future ahead of him until you subjected him to horrific abuse. I, hereby sentence you to death. You will be held on death row until such an execution date is set."

Judge Black hit her gavel down. "Court dismissed."

* * *

JJ and Henry came to the door, JJ opened it with her key. Will immediately greeted her. "Henry, be really quiet and JJ, come see this."

She walked around the corner and put her hand to her chest. Reid sat on the couch, cradling her baby son and feeding him a bottle.

"He's out of his room," JJ smiled.

"I had just come in earlier. I was using the bathroom and the baby began to cry. I came out a few minutes later and found Reid soothing the baby. I guess it just took the cry of his godson to get him out."

**Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm so happy you liked the part with baby Spencer. I thought it was wonderful yet so sad at the same time. I liked writing Reid's letter but I felt it could have been better. I am putting more views from Lincoln into the story as I want a round view of perspective. Enjoy and I'd love to know what you think. I really appreciate feedback. See, short intro today!  
**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews, you're my wonderful angels and you're amazing. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

JJ watched as Reid helped Henry build with Lego blocks, she saw the smile on Henry's face and the small spark in Reid's eye. He was happy when he was around her children and it broke her heart that he couldn't have his own. She felt guilty for the conversation about him becoming a father when they were at the pool. Part of her felt like she had brought his hopes up, only for more torture from the monster to burn them down. Little Spence was sound asleep in her arms after he had fallen asleep in Reid's arms earlier. Henry laughed as his godfather put a small Lego person on top of the building and began to speak in a squeaky voice.

JJ turned around and smiled at Will as he came next to her. "How are you doing?" he asked.

"He's so good with the kids and you can see it in his eyes that he wants to become a father in the future. He can never have kids though and it isn't fair. He had enough taken from him during the year he was away. Lincoln just kept taking after we got him back. Spence is a good man and he is a wonderful godfather to Henry and Spencer. I'm just struggling to see any sense in the world."

"I just got a call," Will said. "Lincoln got sentenced to death, he'll stay on Death Row till they set the execution date. The bastard is going to die."

"Good," JJ said in relief. "Reid can move on now. He doesn't have to fear that son of a bitch."

"Should we tell him now?"

"No," JJ said quickly. "Let him spend some more time with Henry. Besides, I think we should wait till Morgan and Hotch get back tonight. He doesn't like talking about anything that could taint the kids. He won't even say the man's name in the front of the baby."

* * *

Reid hugged Henry goodbye. Morgan and Hotch had arrived home a few minutes ago and Henry needed to go home and get ready for his bedtime. The baby was asleep in the car seat already. "Thanks, Uncle Spencer."

"For what?" he asked as he came back and faced his godson.

"For not being sad," Henry smiled. "Thanks for playing with me too. Love you, Uncle Spencer."

"I love you too," Reid smiled. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye," Henry waved to everyone as JJ held his hand and walked out of the house. Reid closed the door. He turned around to face Morgan and Hotch.

"It's good to see you out of your room. Will told us about you coming out," Hotch said.

"I just couldn't bear hearing the baby cry," Reid shrugged before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a cup. They followed him.

"He got sentenced to death," Morgan said quickly, getting the news out. Reid fumbled the cup, it clanged against the side before he quickly placed it on its bottom. "Kid, you okay?"

"I'm fine," Reid said before going to pick up the coffee pot. It shook as brought it to the cup. He poured himself a cup of coffee before putting the pot back. "He's going to die and that is good."

"Reid, what's wrong?" Hotch asked.

"Nothing is wrong," Reid whispered, barely enough for them to hear. "I got what I wanted and the world is going to get a hell of a lot safer when he dies."

"You're hiding something, Reid."

"Did you know he had a son, Hotch?"

"We did," Morgan intercepted. "He married a woman called Janet Lucas. They had a son together. Lincoln had violent tendencies in bed and they got divorced. We interviewed her after we captured him. Better yet, how did you know?"

"There was a tablet device in the bedroom, in the draw. I looked him up."

Morgan had forgotten all about the tablet he had left in the bedroom draw. It was a spare one that his sisters had used when they had visited.

"You all never like me reading anything online. I didn't want to tell you till I found out the result of the trial. He has a son. A monster like him, has a son. I mean, the chances of me getting away when I was with him, were not that great. He had the house surrounded with traps and he never left me alone without being tethered. There are over three hundred and thirteen million people in the US. He was just one person and I'm just one person. There are killers, rapists, thieves, arsonists and all the other evil people out there. So many that it's hard to believe. He didn't need to do this to me. He didn't need to put the drugs in my food. The only reason you found me was because of chance. He has a son and I can never have children. Part of him is always out there but there won't ever be a part of me out there."

Hotch and Morgan both watched Reid. Their concern over him growing by the second. A loud shattering noise filled the room as Reid smashed the cup into the sink. "HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!"

Morgan stepped forward but Reid held out his hand and faced them. "You want me to get it out, I'm getting it out. This is me talking."

Morgan stepped back and watched Reid let it out. He had heard Reid's feelings in the letter but now, he was hearing them from the source.

"He took everything from me," Reid said angrily. "My past, my present and my future, all tainted because of him. My past is full of him, full of all the disgusting things he did to me. What you saw on those DVD's is only half of it. You didn't see when he dragged me to the kitchen for breakfast, did you?! No, you didn't see me under the table, being forced to get him off. You didn't see rapes outside the house or me, walking around a tree with a leash around my neck. My present is this, feeling angry and watching everything I ever wanted fly away. My future is full of shit! I'll never find a woman in this world who will tolerate my scars and love a man who can't give her a baby and who wakes up screaming. I'll never become a father. I thought about the future I could have if I ever got away. Before he took me, I didn't really think much about being a dad. You learn to prioritize when you're in a freezing hole. I can't do my old job, I just can't. I won't become a victim to anything again. I've lost too much. I'm holding on to you all and the small scraps I have. It's not fair. He'll die but his mark on me will never die. There you are, that is how I feel."

* * *

Bobby Madsen sat in his cell, he stood up as the guard entered and took away Lincoln's belongings. "Wait, what happened to him?"

"Transferred to death row," the guard said. "Guess you got the cell to yourself for a while."

Bobby sat down and watched the guard leave. He sat on his bed and smiled. He was safe again. His cell mate was gone and couldn't hurt him any more. He clutched his stomach as he remembered Lincoln pinning him down in the bottom bunk and raping him. He'd not been able to make a sound with the hand over his mouth. He leaned against the wall. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for taking him away."

* * *

Lincoln sat in his new cell, he stared at the wall and closed his eyes.

* * *

_He watched Spencer try to crawl away from him. He grabbed the chain and dragged him back, laughing with enjoyment. He grabbed Spencer and dragged him into the fun room._

_"NO!" Spencer screeched as he dragged him into the room. He tied his whore to the chair by his wrists and ankles before walking to the duct tape. He placed a large strip over his toy's mouth. He caught a tear on his finger and tasted it._

_"Fear, my favourite flavour," he chuckled. He brought a small hammer and forced Spencer to splay his finger. He watched the young man shake his head with red eyes. He brought the hammer down hard to the middle finger. He relished his whore's scream as the finger broke._

* * *

His mind travelled to another time, a more intimate time.

* * *

_He moved his hips repeatedly as his whore sat on his lap, he enjoyed using him like this. He brought Spencer closer and held him against his chest as he continued. "I know you like it, Spencer."_

_"Please, stop," Spencer pleaded. He moved harshly making the whore cry out._

_"Don't tell me what to do!" he snarled into the whore's ear. "I'll make this enjoyable for both of us."_

_He reached into Spencer's trousers and began. "NO! NO! Please, don't. I don't want to!"_

_Bringing his free hand up, he clamped it over Spencer's mouth. "Don't fight it, Spencer. You'll never win."_

* * *

Lincoln opened his eyes and let out a content smile. He could die happily. He had his fun with Spencer. He had the memories till the day he got executed, which was still some time away.

* * *

Garcia came to the house the next morning, she came in. Morgan and Hotch had to go to work but she had taken the day to look after Reid. Morgan had waited till she pulled up before leaving. She walked in and found Reid writing in a notebook. He closed the book when he heard her come up behind him.

"What are you writing?"

"It's private," he answered.

"Okay," she nodded. "I'm all yours today. I'll make some breakfast in a minute but I want to talk to you first. We need to start getting you on your way to recovery."

"I am recovering."

"I mean, you need to start living life again. I know you've taken more hits to yourself since Lincoln revealed what he did. We need to give you a goal. You can't sit in this house for the rest of your life. You need to get out there and see the world. Do you think you could ever come back to the BAU? No-one will make you do something you don't want to do. Your life is your life."

"I can't really get excited about life," Reid said sadly.

"There are options for the future when you are ready to have a family. There is adoption."

"No agency is going to let me adopt a child. They will ask questions about my mental status, family history and about my childhood. Do I have a past drug abuse problem? Especially after Lincoln, they'll never let me adopt. I would be a man facing an army. Single father adoptions are tough and every thing about me would make it harder, almost impossible. I'm going to have to face a life of being lonely. I just don't want to face that now."

Garcia brought her arms around him. "You'll never be lonely."

"You don't know that," he said. "You'll all go and begin families of your own. Hotch has Jack and Beth, JJ has Will, Henry and the baby. Blake has her husband. Rossi has decided on his path but he is happy with that. You will start a family and so will Morgan in the future. You won't have time for me and I don't expect you to. Like I said, I have to come to terms with a lot of things but I can't do it yet. I'm just not strong enough."

**Please review**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I have plans for this. I'll be honest. It's going to finish in about the next six to seven chapters. I think I'd like to cap the chapters at about thirty to thirty-one chapters. While my stories are long, they usually only last a month because of the daily updates but that allows me to release all my evil ideas for Reid. I hope that is okay, I like to warn you all when I'm going to finish a story. LaRieNGuBleR, I'm sorry I upset you. I could bake you an ultimate chocolate cake to cheer you up. Everyone, enjoy this chapter and I'd love to hear from you. You have the power to make me dance to the criminal minds wheel's up song.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're awesome and you all deserve a tray of Garcia's cupcakes. I love you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Watching the world go by felt strange as he sat in the park, watching people laugh and talk. Garcia was at the small kiosk down the path, grabbing some drinks and food. Most of them had no idea what could happen to them. They had no worries about their future or their lives. Three weeks had passed since Morgan had informed of the monster's fate. Garcia was trying to get him out of the house more. She worried about him being at home. Sometimes, he stayed alone because the team had cases that required all of them. He sometimes preferred being alone. Morgan kept the fridge stocked with a range of foods and selections of his favourites.

Favourites that the monster had never allowed him.

He gripped the bench as his mind tried to take him back to his time with the monster. He kept his eyes open and focused himself. "That is the sun on my back, I'm not there. I'm not with the monster. The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

His breathing calmed down and he began to release his grip on the bench as he stayed in the present. He let out a small smile as he realised that he had succeeded in keeping his grip on reality without help. He used quotes to help keep himself grounded. The monster had hated his mind, hated all the facts in his head. All the monster had liked about him was his body.

"Thank you, Ernest Hemingway."

He used quotes that focused on strength, love and the mind. He relaxed against the bench and watched as Garcia came over, with two coffees and a small box of something. She settled next to him. "Here you go, baby boy."

"Thanks," he smiled before taking the coffee. He took a deep sip and relished the taste on his tongue. He didn't take things for granted. He had learned never to waste food, to never force anyone to do anything they didn't want to do. He made use of his time when he was on his own. He had taken to doing a lot of writing and had filled notebook after notebook. He wasn't ready to let the team see what he was writing. He also continued with his arts and crafts projects, he had even moved on to larger projects. He had even made a small beside table for Henry. It had cars painted all over it, along with the symbols of his godson's favourite superhero characters.

"How are you feeling?" Garcia asked before opening the box to show sugary mini hot doughnuts. "You were looking a little distressed when I was at the kiosk."

"My mind tried to take me to a place I didn't want to go and I managed to stop it. I'm getting better and soon I think my mind won't try to force me back to times like that and I might actually be able to lead a life where I don't freak out. This coffee is good."

Garcia gave him a small sad smile. "You're making progress, Reid. A lot since that bastard got sentenced to death. How are you feeling about your future?"

"I still need time but I'm trying to keep myself looking into a bright future. Maybe, one not with kids but one where I'm at least alive and living my life. The universe must have some plan for me if I survived all that time. I don't waste things any more. Time, food and other things are precious to me. You think that you'll always have time for what you want and always have access to the food you like. It's a shock when those things are suddenly ripped away from you. You learn to appreciate so much when you get it back."

"You'll have everything you want in life," Garcia said. "The universe does have a plan for you and I know it's a wonderful plan. You deserve happiness after everything. I've noticed you don't waste food. You're gaining weight and you look healthier each day."

"I feel better each day."

"That's good," she said. "I've got a present for you."

She put down her coffee and went through her bag. She brought out a small silver package and handed it to him. He slowly opened the wrapping and smiled when he saw a large leather-bound journal in the wrapping. He stroked the cover when he saw his name engraved at the bottom. Dr Spencer Reid, in italics. He looked at Garcia and smiled. "Thank you, it's beautiful. Why did you give it to me?"

"You seem so calm and happy when you are writing in your notebooks. I don't know what you do in them but I can see that it's helping you. This is your journal, you can add to it and it has pouches in the back and front."

He leaned forward and gave her a comforting hug. "Thank you. One day, you can see what I write but not yet. It's something that belongs to me and I'm really enjoying it. After living in darkness, it's nice to write using my mind."

* * *

Hotch held a small DVD in his hand. They had recovered it from a locker they had found in Lincoln's name. He already knew what was on there, he had watched part of it. The missing few days from Reid's memory. Lincoln had brought a doctor into the house. Reid had locked severely sick in the footage. They had watched the doctor hook up IV's to him. Reid never woke up once and it was clear they were keeping him sedated. The worst had come when Lincoln had taken a seat on the couch and the doctor had climbed on Reid. The DVD had skipped to other moments where Reid had gotten used. The doctor was dead now. Died of a heart attack a month before they had found Reid. He sat back and hated that Reid got used by yet another man. Hotch snapped the DVD in half and threw it into the bin.

Reid had gone through enough. The doctor was dead and Lincoln would die soon at the hands of the justice system. There was no reason for Reid to ever see the DVD. Those days were dark in the young man's mind and Hotch was making sure they stayed that way.

* * *

_"Come on," the monster laughed. "Fight me. I love it when you do."_

_Reid fought against the monster but he felt weak after not having anything to eat for two days. He tried to hit at the monster but his hits didn't faze the man. He got forced on his stomach and his head held against the floor. They were down in the basement. Chuck Barson was the monster's newest victim and was now sat in the corner. The monster looked over. "You better watch, boy. You're going to do this soon."_

_Reid looked at Chuck with tears in his eyes. His mouth opened in a silent cry as the monster began. It was slow and brutal._

_"You have to take whores like him for all they got," the monster growled at Chuck.  
_

* * *

He jolted up in bed and looked around the room, he calmed down when he recognised the bathroom. Getting out of bed, he rubbed his eyes. He could control the memories when he was awake. He had no control over them when he slept. He made his way downstairs and filled a glass with water. He sat at the table and continued to drink his water. He knew he was making progress in his life but so many things weighed on his mind. What job would he do? Would he spend the rest of his life alone? He wasn't going to look at the future and imagine that everything would shine and every one would always be there. He loved his family and knew they'd be there for him when he needed them. They were going to each have families and they would go to their own lives more and more.

Ever since he had found out about his sterility, he just kept imagining what his son could have looked like. He had thought about having a family ever since Maeve. He didn't stop after her death. Her death showed him that life was short. The monster had shown him that life was even shorter and that you could lose everything within a matter of seconds.

He wondered if he had any chance at adoption if he got his life together. He just wondered if he would ever be worthy. His mother was a paranoid schizophrenic, there was a small chance of him becoming one too but most breaks happened earlier and he felt fine. His father had never been there for him. He had a history of drug abuse, something he regretted ever since he took on the habit forced upon him. Especially after Lincoln, any adoption agency assessment would consider him not fit to raise a child. His only option after that would be private adoption and any person that met him and found out about his past, would refuse him.

He shook his head, knowing it was way too early to think about those sort of things. Sometimes, he couldn't help it.

He jumped when he suddenly saw Morgan standing at the entrance to the kitchen. "You scared me, Morgan."

"Sorry, kid."

Morgan came over and sat across from Reid. "What's on your mind?"

"I had a nightmare and decided to come get some water. My mind just never stops with all these worries. I know it is way too early to think about things like being a dad. I need to get myself sorted and find myself a new job."

"Are you sure you're not coming back to work with us?"

"Morgan, I just can't. I can't walk to a crime scene and see a dead body again. I watched five men die in front of me, heard Oliver die and I had to clean their blood. I had to hear them scream. I can't put myself in danger again. I'll forever love the BAU but I can't do my old job. I know that makes you feel angry."

"No," Morgan quickly shook her head. "It doesn't make me feel angry. I'll admit, I'll miss working with you. I missed working with you all the time you were gone. I just want you to do what you want. Find a job that makes you happy and trust me, no matter what it takes, you'll be a dad one day."

"I hope so," Reid smiled. "There are some routes that would be possible if my sperm wasn't sterile. They cost a lot and any chance of success is small. The doctor told me that I'd never conceive a child. I hope, I hope so much for a miracle. I guess only time will tell. Men have been told they are sterile and they ended up having a child. It's rare but it happens."

"You watched Maury, didn't you?" Morgan said. "That was last night's episode."

"Hey, it gave me a little hope. Every thing is a slim chance but we've done impossible things before."

"It's so good having you back, kid. Keep a good attitude up."

**Please review**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. This chapter shows what direction Reid is going to take in his life after choosing not to return to the BAU. I have also put Lincoln's point of view in this chapter, he'll pop up till his execution. I'm starting a new fanfic on Monday and it will be a AU one with Reid as a teenager. I won't spoil too much but I just know it's going to come out great. Enjoy this chapter and I'd love to know what you think.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're great and absolutely brilliant. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. Garcia gasped happily before coming forward and hugging him. She came away and gently straightened his new clothes. He had styled his hair and was wearing converse shoes, a pair of jeans, a blue shirt with black vest over it. He had to admit, he looked like his old self. He smiled as Garcia finished and stepped back. "Oh, Reid. You-" she began to say before hesitating.

"I look like I used to," he said. She smiled and nodded. "It feels strange. I haven't been dressed like this, well, since he kidnapped me from my apartment."

He looked down and took a deep breath. She came forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Reid, tell me," she said gently.

"I love being in these clothes and I know that I'm getting better. It's just, remembering that night, is difficult. I walked into my apartment and he just pounced. In once second, his hand was over my mouth and his arm around my waist. I struggled when he took me to my room but he pinned me to the bed. He put tape over my mouth and then blindfolded me. Everything changed within moments. I went from being a normal person, in control of my life, to being someone else's toy. I was so scared, Garcia. He waited till it was dark and then took me to his car. I had no idea what he had planned for me."

"The next day, Morgan came over to your house. He found everything turned over. We knew something horrible had happened, we searched and searched for you. Every lead we followed went cold. We never stopped though and we missed you so much. We all love you and not knowing what happened to you, it broke our hearts. You're back now and the bastard who hurt you is going to die."

"Not any time soon," Reid said. "Death Row sentences are long. I know that IT has waived his right to appeal and isn't going to argue his sentence in court. Most sentences last years. I want to move on with my life and I am. It's just, I'll feel safer when he dies. I dreamed about him dying when he kept me captive."

"No matter how long he stays on death row, you can always know you're safe. We are here to keep you safe and he will never get out of there. I want you to focus on your life and your happiness."

Reid looked at her and smiled. "I will. I want to give you something."

He walked into the living room and took out a notebook from his bag. "This is a short story that I've done. I want you to read it."

"You've been writing short stories," she smiled as she looked from the notebook to his face.

"Among other things," he said. "I've done a lot of different writing. It allows me time to process things and it is very meditative. I'd love for you to read it. It's one I hope that you'll like."

"I'll read it tonight, I promise."

* * *

_"What are you doing?!" his whore panicked as he carried him to the garage. He had to do this. He had to re-enact his dream, a dream that had made him want Spencer more."_

_He placed Spencer on the hood of his car and placed himself between his legs as he climbed on the hood. He stroked his hands over Spencer's body and kissed him. He ripped away his whore's trousers and unbuckled his belt. He prepared and then began. He relished the sounds coming from Spencer. He grabbed his head and pulled his hair causing Spencer to cry out. He buried himself in the young man's neck and neared the end. He yanked himself back when he felt a horrible pain on his shoulder. He came away from Spencer's neck and looked to see the young man had a bloody mouth. He reached to his shoulder and found bite marks, blood leaking from them down his chest._

_Spencer stared at him with wide and pain filled eyes._

_Grabbing Spencer's head, he smashed it back into the windscreen of the car. A crack noise filled the room. He looked down and saw his toy out cold and blood on the cracked windscreen. He continued his earlier business and grinned as he finished._

Lincoln reached his hand back and touched the bite mark. He felt the small indentations on his shoulder and smiled. "Good memories," he murmured to himself as he slipped his hand in his trousers.

* * *

Garcia finished the last page of the notebook, she grabbed a tissue and wiped her cheeks. She found the story elegant and beautiful. Stroking her hand over the pages, she treasured each word. The short story had begun with a man named Adam. His girlfriend had died during childbirth, leaving him with a son named Andy to raise. The story had shown each year of Andy's life till he reached adulthood. Andy had said goodbye to his father and gone to college where he graduated, even after the death of a dear friend. The ending showed Andy caring for his sick father and reading him his mother's favourite book, that his father had read to him as a child. A mother he had never known. The father had smiled as the words got read to him.

It was beautifully written and Garcia loved it.

* * *

_He couldn't move as he laid in the monster's bed. His food had gotten drugged again. The monster laid next to him but was only touching him. He felt the monster stroke his nose. "I'm so happy that I took you. You never get old on_ me._ I've had others in the past but none of them gave me what you give me."_

_The monster climbed on top of him and made him face him. "You are so expressive and you keep holding on. The rest of them, at the end, just laid there and took it. They became dead to me and dead to the world. You are escaping into your mind sometimes. I hate that and you know you deserve punishment for when you do it. You're still fighting me though and I just love it. You're like this because sometimes, I like you like this."_

_The monster laid on top of him and laid on his chest. "Listen to that heart, still so strong. I guess it's all the pleasure I give you that keeps it going. I do care for you, Spencer. I've never cared about a whore like this."_

_Arms swooped under him and picked him up into a bridal carry. Reid could only lay limp in his arms as he got carried out. Moments later, he found himself on the bathroom floor. The monster began to run a hot bath. Reid found his clothes removed before being lowered into the bath. The monster climbed in too and sat behind him._

_"Isn't this nice?" the monster said before kissing down Reid's neck._

* * *

Morgan was in the kitchen when he heard a hard banging noise from outside the kitchen. A small moan followed. He dropped his spoon and rushed out of the room to find Reid on the floor near the stairs.

"Ow!" Reid groaned.

"Reid, are you okay?" Morgan asked as he came over and helped Reid get up.

"I fell down the stairs," Reid moaned. "I lost my balance. I'm okay but I think I might have a few bruises later."

"Don't scare me like that," Morgan shook his head.

Morgan answered the door as a knock came. He opened it to see Garcia. She walked in and went straight to Reid. "Did you fall?"

"I'm fine," Reid said. "I think I had a flashback coming down the stairs and I lost my balance. Don't worry."

Garcia held up the notebook. He looked at it. "You read it?" he asked.

"It's beautiful. There are so many emotions and you've written it so wonderfully. I couldn't put it down. I was crying at the end and I loved Andy by the end. Oh, Reid, you're an amazing writer. You have to get this published."

"What is this?" Morgan asked as he took the notebook.

"It's a short story," Reid said nervously. "I've done a lot of short stories and other pieces. It helps keep me calm and I find it helps with all the worries I have."

"Can I read it?"

Garcia gave Reid a reassuring nod. "Reid, let him."

"Just don't make fun," Reid agreed.

"I won't," Morgan smiled.

"Do you have anything else?" Garcia asked, craving more of Reid's imagination. "I know you do. You've been a non stop writing machine since you started writing."

"They're upstairs," he relented.

Garcia took his hand and practically dragged him back up the stairs and into his bedroom. He walked over to his wardrobe and pulled a large box from the shelf. He put it on the bed and began to lay all the notebooks out. His leather journal was kept on his bedside table. It had more personal writing in.

"You can pick one to take home. Some stories filled two notebooks."

"Recommend one for me."

Reid picked up two notebooks and handed them to her. "This one is more of a sci-fi, I let my head get away with this one. You'll like it though."

"I bet, I will."

**Please review**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. I didn't update yesterday as I had a few things to sort out and I needed to do some personal writing. You get the spark, you have to use it. Sorry for not updating. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I've caved to some hints in the reviews, you'll see when you read this. The upcoming chapters are going to feature some time jumps and some unexpected things. Yes, Lincoln will get it in the next few chapters too. I'm hoping that you all still like this, my OCD keeps messing with my head lately. Pressures of christmas, I guess. Enjoy and I'd love to hear your views, I really appreciate them!  
**

**My new fanfic is being delayed for a few days due to having to work out a few things. Sorry!**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're amazing and absolutely the most lovely readers in the world. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**A few weeks later**

Reid laughed as he raised baby Spencer in the air. The baby cooed happily and moved around as Reid raised him up again. He brought him back down and laid him down on the small play area. He brought out a toy and watched as his godson reached for the toy. He gave the baby the small toy and watched him shake it in his small hand. Reid heard a small creak at the doorway. He turned around to see Rossi standing there. "Hey, Rossi."

Reid brought the baby into his arms and walked over. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," Rossi said. "Where is JJ?"

"She went out to get a few things. I told her I didn't need them but she was adamant about getting them. She trusted me to look after the baby while she went out. It's strange calling the baby by his name. Feels like I'm talking to myself. What did you want to talk about?"

"Let's sit down," Rossi said as he gestured to couch and chair in the living room. Reid made his way to the chair. Before sitting, he secured Spencer in the baby rocker and set it to swing gently. A small high-pitched noise came from the baby.

"Wow, he really likes that," Rossi chuckled as he lowered himself to the couch. "I've read some of your short stories."

"Morgan and Garcia aren't supposed to let the rest of you see them," Reid sighed.

"I passed them on to a friend of mine in the publishing industry, he took a look and he wants to put out a book of short stories that you've done. He wants to see if you have any other ones like Father, Son, Man, the one with the single father raising his son. He loves your sci-fi work and with your permission, he wants to pass them to sci-fi publications. Your stories are wonderful to read and my friend is very intrigued. Want to publish your first book?"

Reid sat there motionless for a moment as he absorbed the information. He regained his composure and thought about it. "He really wants to publish them?"

"He does," Rossi smiled. "I know that you've been worried about your future. This is a stepping stone for you. This can give you financial security again, you can begin a new career. Show that bastard you aren't going to take a back seat in life."

"I'm afraid of being out there," Reid said. "I don't want another person to target me because of a book."

"I know the feeling," Rossi nodded. "You can write under a pen name and only go to limited engagements. People will love you for your words, not for what you look like or how you talk. You've read so many books and have so many of them inside of your mind. Create your own words and let someone else never forget them. I urge you to take this opportunity. You can even consult on cases with us when we may need your expertise. You can choose whether to consult. I know that you're craving to shake off the horrors you've gone through."

"Don't talk about what I've been through in front of the baby," Reid said quickly before looking and smiling at baby Spencer. He reached down and put the pacifier back in his mouth.

"You want to get your life back, it's clear as day."

"I do want to get my life back. I want it back but I want so much more as well. The things I want aren't a reality. I'd love a son or daughter to care for. I pushed back the thought of being a dad but now I know how quickly things can disappear. How quick life can be. I want to, so much, be a father. I know that treatments have come a long way and there are options. Chances of them ever working are so small, it wouldn't be worth trying. I don't want to get my hopes up, only to have them fall. I'm realistic about my future. I will never be with a woman."

"Reid, any woman would love you."

"They might love me but I couldn't love them, not fully. Maeve is always in my mind, she was my perfect match and she's gone. I can't ever be with a woman because no matter how much my mind improves, I'll always remember. Tell your friend that I look forward to meeting with him and discussing the publication. I do want a new future, I don't want to hide in the past."

Rossi smiled. "I'll give him a call and set up a meeting."

Reid unbuckled the baby and brought him into his arms. He sat him on his lap and watched Spencer reach out.

"You'll be a father, Reid. Given what the world has put you through, you deserve a miracle."

"I have the perfect pen name to write under," Reid smiled before making a funny face at Spencer. "I'll be Spencer Donovan."

Rossi found himself confused for a second before he realised why Reid had chosen the name. "I think that's a great pen name."

* * *

_"I don't understand what I did wrong!" Reid cried as Lincoln pinned him to the floor. He'd been so good and had not fought the man. He had complied for the last few days. A slap brutally came across his face before a hand gripped his jaw._

_"I heard you talking in your sleep in the basement this morning. You shouldn't have said those things about me. I'm gonna make you pay for every word."_

_"NO!" he cried as he got turned to his stomach. "I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! I was a-asleep."_

_"Stop lying, Spencer. You're such a stupid whore! You can't lie and you need to take your punishment like a man!"_

_Reid screamed as it began. Lincoln continued to hit him through the assault._

Opening his eyes, Reid grabbed his bed sheets in an iron grip. He remembered that morning all too well, it was the morning on the day that the team had finally come for him. He'd been shoved back into his hole and the monster had blocked it off so he couldn't talk with Tommy.

* * *

**The next day**

Reid heard a knock at the front door. He walked over and opened it. His eyes widened as he took in the sight in front of him. "Oh my god! Reid, it's really you."

Strong arms wrapped around him and held him tightly. He remained frozen for a moment before he wrapped his arms around her. He came away with a grin on his face. "Emily, I can't believe it's you."

"I'm so sorry that I haven't been here," Emily said quickly. "I've been undercover for nearly seven months. I only found out the team had found you when I got back. I'm so happy to see you. I came straight from London the moment I found out. Are you okay?"

"I'm better than what I was," Reid said before bringing her in and closing the door. "Who told you I was back?"

"Garcia and the others knew I was going on assignment but they weren't allowed to contact me or say anything. They were allowed to leave messages at Interpol for when I returned. I came back and there was this huge email from a few months ago. I can't believe they found you. What happened to you? She didn't go into too much detail. Just that you had been hurt by the dick who kidnapped you. They don't know I'm here."

"Let's take a seat," Reid said before leading her to the living room. He went to the kitchen quickly and grabbed two bottles of waters. He handed one to Emily before taking a seat across from her. "First, it's so great to see you. I've missed you. I missed everyone during captivity."

"I missed you too. Until they sent me undercover, I gave them all the help I could and I tried to find you too. What happened?"

"Emily, I can't say his name. I can't say_ IT's_ name," Reid said before taking a deep breath. "I spent a year being tortured, starved, beaten and raped by a monster. He was my first. He's been sentenced to death and is on death row. He can't hurt me now, at least, physically. I still have bad dreams about him and sometimes flashbacks."

"Oh god, Reid. I'm so sorry. I can't believe you went through all that. I'm so, so sorry."

"There wasn't anything any of you could have done. He had things to prevent the team finding me. He had a partner named Brandon. The same one who worked with the team. He was working with Lincoln."

"Son of a bitch," Emily growled. "I knew there was something wrong with him. There was something too eager about him. I only met him once."

"He's dead," Reid shrugged. "JJ killed him. I can't explain everything. I'll let the others tell you. During the year I was away, he would visit once a month, he'd rape, beat and drug me. Used to treat me like a dog. Emily, I'm getting better. When the team found me, I was a mess. I was traumatized, scared and afraid of every noise around me._ IT_ took something else from me and I'm even learning to come to terms with what I lost."

"What did he take from you?"

"He used drugs to affect my fertility. The doctor at the clinic told me that I can't conceive a child. The bastard who took me wanted to make sure I didn't have a future where there was little version of me running around. I prioritized things when he took me. I thought about the life I wanted if I ever escaped from him. I really want to become a father but the odds are against me. Even trying different treatments, I doubt any would work."

Emily sat next to him and hugged him. "I'm so sorry, Reid."

"I'm getting my life back though," Reid smiled gently. "I'm not going back to the BAU. I can't after all I've gone through. I'm not emotionally capable of dealing with being an agent again. I've been writing short stories. Rossi looked at some and he passed it to a friend. I'm getting a book of short stories published in a few months."

"That's wonderful," she smiled.

"I have another godson too. He's named Spencer, after me. He loves attention."

Reid brought his arms around her and held her. "I'm so happy to see you again."

"I had nightmares about what might have happened to you. It was horrible not knowing where you were. You're alive and that is all that matters," Emily said as she held him. She blinked back tears but let her joy at her friend being back run through her.

**Please review**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. We have a time jump in this chapter and the jumps will continue in last few chapters. I'm sorry if my writing isn't brilliant today but I have a nice little headache, not out of the blue but caused from me falling and hitting my head on a table. Not a pleasant experience. I hope you like this chapter and thank you to those who reviewed. This chapter features a big jump in Reid's recovery and it shows how much progress he's made. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Please!  
**

**Emily and Spencer will not be together in this. Reid will remain on his own. I am a fan of Reid and Emily and have done other stories with them getting together but this isn't one of them.**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews, you're absolutely stellar and you're amazing. Thank you!  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Six months later

Reid signed the book and smiled as he took a picture with the fan. He wasn't used to this attention, this was only his fourth engagement at a bookstore. He had to admit, it was nice having a book out there and it gave him joy to hear that it had changed the lives of some people. It took another hour to finish the signing but he didn't want to leave any one disappointed. His book was a bestseller and had garnered a lot of attention a few weeks after its release. He declined high-profile events but he liked going to the bookstores. He felt so much better than he had six months ago. He had financial security again and he was enjoying his new career. Baby Spencer adored him and he spoiled him all the time. He spoiled Henry too. There wasn't a week that went by that he didn't give them a new toy. He considered it making up for lost time with his god children. The nightmares were less frequent and he rarely had flashbacks. He focused on keeping his mind on the present and not the terrible past. The monster had attempted to contact him through letters. He didn't know how the son of a bitch had managed to get them out but he just gave them to Hotch. There were nothing but taunts in them. He smiled as he remembered the last letter. He had taken it and set it on fire with a lighter.

The execution wasn't taking place for at least another year. He didn't understand why it was taking so long but he had researched cases and found that many remained on death row, some even dying there even though their trial had happened decades before.

Emily had visited two more times since her first visit. He appreciated her visits but felt guilty for making her take such a long flight over. The team continued working at the BAU and he had consulted on a few cases with them. He didn't mind as long as he wasn't named or put into a difficult and dangerous situation. He still lived with Morgan but he had plans to move out, although he promised the team he would find somewhere near at least one of them. It felt strange having such a normal life after such a traumatic and terrifying year away from all things normal. He had lived in hell for a year, being abused, humiliated and starved. He'd never forget that year but he was choosing to put the memories away in a box, a padlock in his mind keeping it shut. At least, sometimes. He came back to the present and brushed a hand through his short hair. He kept it short. He didn't like having long hair and he never would after what happened. He closed his satchel and put it over his shoulder. He said goodbye to the bookstore owners and made his way out to a waiting car.

He greeted the driver and gave the BAU's address. He looked out the window and finally relaxed after a day of being rushed around and signing books. It was a two-hour drive back to the BAU. He brought out his leather journal and began to write. He had added to it so much that he had lengthened the leather strap to now close the book. The team had never seen this journal. It was his journal and it kept his thoughts and memories in. It also had the next step he wanted to take in his life. A step he was nervous about. The others kept telling him he deserved a miracle. He hoped he could get a miracle. He was already going for that miracle.

* * *

Walking through the doors to the BAU, he smiled as he saw Garcia putting a pink fluffy headband on Morgan's head. He walked down the steps and behind them. "Pink suits you, Morgan."

Garcia turned around and instantly gave him a gentle hug. She came away and looked at what he was wearing. "Don't you look smart."

"Had another book signing," Reid said. "Took longer than I thought."

"Look at you," she smiled proudly. "I am so proud of you. You've come so far."

"Thanks," he said before looking at Morgan. "I can't take you seriously if you keep that thing on your head."

"He offended me, he has to wear it," Garcia giggled. "Serves him right for saying there wasn't enough flavour in my cupcakes."

"I didn't mean it," Morgan pouted playfully.

"You insulted Garcia's cupcakes. That's not right. You deserve to keep that head band on," Reid shook his head. "Can I wait here till you all go home? I don't really want to go home and be sat in silence."

"Of course, you can."

* * *

Reid sat in Garcia's office, using her laptop to send a few emails to his agent. His phone began to ring. He looked at the screen. "Garcia, I have to take this outside."

He answered the call and stood outside her office, closing the door.

Garcia went to her door, Reid usually told her everything. She pressed her ear against the door.

"Thank you for our last meeting," she heard him say. "I know the chances are small. This treatment is the best chance I have. Tuesday at one o'clock, I got it. I'll look over viable donors then. Thank you, Dr Isaac."

Garcia came away from the door as Reid opened it. He looked at her with wide eyes. "Were you just listening to my phone call?"

"Yes," she admitted before putting her hands on her hips. "Reid, who was that?"

"It was nobody," he said before walking past her and to his bag. He packed his things. "You shouldn't do that. It was a private phone call."

"Reid, why are you talking to a doctor? Is there something wrong? You mean so much to me and to the rest of the team. Please, don't keep secrets from us. I want to help you if you're sick."

"I'm not sick!" he said quickly before looking at his phone. "I'm looking at viable egg donors and when I've found one, I can use a surrogate. They will try a new treatment using my sperm. It takes a few months but after a few months, they'll place sperm directly into the donor eggs and then into a surrogate. It's still the early stages but I'm doing this because I want to become a father and I want the child to biologically be mine. It's a long shot and even Dr Isaac told me the chances are extremely small. He doesn't even think it'll work. I'd rather try, than not try and never be a father. I lost a year of my life, I want to have a happy future and this is how I'm doing it. I'm not sick, I'm just trying to have a future."

"You've started the process," Garcia said. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I've done so well and I know you have all been busy. They have already started the treatment on my sperm. I have to find a donor and surrogate by the end of the treatment."

"Are you sure you're ready for this now?" Garcia asked. "I'm happy that you are doing this but I want to make sure you're ready. You'll be a single father if it works. Are you ready for the responsibility that comes with being a father?"

"I am," he nodded. "I really want this. After everything, I want to have a little son or daughter. I won't let that son of a bitch monster ruin the rest of my life."

"I just need to ask," she said. "Oh Reid, I'm so happy for you. Please, let me help you do this. Let us all help you."

"I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm hopeful but I'm not running around and pretending that every thing will just fall into place. The chances are small and there a giant risks involved with using a surrogate and picking the right donor."

Garcia wrapped her arms around him. "Every thing will work out fine."

* * *

**A few days later**

Reid laid in bed that night going over some papers from his agent and another set from his doctor. He rubbed his eyes and decided to call it a night. He put the papers in the drawer and took off his glasses. He turned off the light and let himself drift to sleep.

_He opened his eyes and found himself in the back of a car. He looked out the window and found himself looking at a forest._

_"Lovely evening, isn't it?" a voice came next to him. He panicked when he realised it was the monster. He grabbed the door handle but the car door wouldn't open. He leaned himself against it, keeping a distance._

_"This isn't real. You're on death row. You're going to die soon."_

_"How would you know? For a year, you just accepted things. You are nothing but a little whore. You can try make a future but it won't work. I'll always be there in your head. I've ruined your future."_

_"No, you haven't," Reid said angrily. "I have a life and I'm going to become a dad, no matter what. I'll never forget what you did but I'm not going to let it rule my life. You're not a monster! YOU'RE JUST A SICK PERVERTED RAPIST CALLED LINCOLN!"_

Reid jolted up in the bed, he sat up and calmed himself down. He closed his eyes and remembered moments from his year in captivity. It was just a man who had hurt him, not a monster.

"His name is Lincoln," he said gently. "Just a sick bastard called Lincoln."

* * *

Sitting in Morgan's back garden, he relaxed and took a deep breath in. He loved the fresh air during this time of the year. Garcia came and sat next to him. She handed him a cold glass of lemonade. "You look happy."

"His name is Lincoln," Reid said to her. Her eyes widened with surprise.

"Reid, you just said his name."

"I know," he said before letting out a small laugh. "It's true though. He's not a monster, not the kind I used to have in my head. He's just a perverted bastard who kidnapped and raped me for a year. I once told him he had small equipment, which was true. I had a dream last night, I yelled at him in it and called him by his name. He's going to die. I know that and I don't feel as afraid as I did. I'm going to become a dad, no matter what it takes and I'm going to build myself a wonderful future."

"You've come so far and it's wonderful to see you like this. You're so brave and I know you'll be a great dad. Reid, I wanted to talk to you about something. I've thought long and hard about this. Reid, if you'll let me, I want to become your egg donor and I also want to carry the baby. I want to become your surrogate."

Reid looked at her with an open mouth. He let out a small cough before regaining himself. "Garcia, why would you do that for me? I mean, are you sure?"

"You'll know who the biological mother is and you'll be able to stay close to your baby when I'm carrying it. I'll sign over all rights to the baby to you because it'll be your baby. When he or she grows up, then they can ask and you might have to tell them. For most of their young life, I'll just be the fun-loving aunty. I've done research on surrogates and donors. I don't want someone you don't know to turn around when they have the baby and refuse to hand him or her over. You know my medical history and you've known me for so long. I want to do this for you."

"This is a lot to offer, Garcia. If you did this, you'll watch them run around. He or she will be your child too. I mean, I'd love for you to be the biological mother and to carry the baby. It would make me feel better about all of this if it worked. I love you but not in a romantic way, you're my best friend and you've helped me through my recovery so much. Are you sure? You'd always be in the baby's life and the moment they were old enough to understand, I would tell them. This is a big thing."

"I love you too and it isn't in a romantic way, you're my best friend too. I want to do this, Reid. You want this more than the world and I want to give it to you. Besides, imagine the child with my mad tech skills and your brain. You deserve happiness and I want you to have that. This gives you peace of mind and allows you to know what is going on constantly. I'm hoping that you trust me enough to accept. I find it hard picturing you putting that much trust in a stranger. Especially after everything you went through. I'm more than ready to do this."

"I'd love for you to do it," Reid smiled, wiping a tear of joy from his cheek. "Would you be my donor and surrogate, Penelope Garcia?"

"Yes, I'd love to," she grinned back. He came forward and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you!"

**Please review**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. There are two big time jumps in this but there are only a few chapters left on this story. I was actually going to give Reid a break to those who think I was going to go down the mean route. I'm sadistic but I do have my good side. I know the surrogate idea is different but I wanted Garcia to do it and I know some of you think it's strange. Enjoy and I'd love to hear what you think. Make me smile!  
**

**KASEY64, you're in my mind! Seriously some of the things you said in your review, are what's planned but I have an added bonus on top of that all.  
**

**Reid addict - No, the magic fairies didn't get a chance. I zapped them with my evil powers.**

**LaRieNGuBleR - Haha! I spat my drink out laughing when I read your review. Thank you for making me smile.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're awesome and I just think you're the best readers in the world. I love you all. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Five months later**

Reid sat nervously in Garcia's apartment as she took the pregnancy test. Implantation of the eggs had been two weeks ago and today was the day Garcia could take the pregnancy test. He couldn't stop his knee bouncing up and down, he didn't have high expectations but he really hoped that the treatment had worked. He had treated Garcia like a queen since she had offered to be his donor and surrogate. She had taken all the medication to increase her chances and followed all the instructions from the doctor with perfect accuracy. He had moved from Morgan's house and into another house only just down the street. Morgan had found it for him and he had to admit, he loved his new home. Morgan liked that he wasn't too far away. For a few weeks, he kept finding Clooney outside his door and the two couldn't figure out how he was getting out at night. It was only when Garcia had set up a camera, they found out he opening the back door just enough to get out.

His book was still doing incredibly well and he was working on his next book, a novel where his main character had been based on Garcia. He looked up when he heard the toilet flush. The door to the bathroom opened. He stood and looked at her face. There were tears in her eyes.

"It didn't work, did it?" he said before brushing his hand through his hair and taking a shaky breath. "It's okay. It was a long shot and they said the chances were small."

Garcia walked over to him and saw the upset in his eyes. "Are you crying?"

Reid shook his head and blinked a few times. "I think I got too optimistic about things. The doctor said the chances were small and I really wanted it to work. It's okay though. I don't want you to feel bad or anything like that. I know that some people feel like that in this situation when things don't work."

She wiped his cheeks with her thumbs. "Reid, why are you crying? I'm pregnant and you're going to have a little baby in about nine months. My tears are of joy. You didn't give me a chance to talk," she laughed gently. "Reid, it worked. I'm pregnant."

He looked at her for a moment before letting out the biggest smile that Garcia had ever seen. He hugged her and began to laugh. "Oh my god! I can't believe it worked! I'm gonna be a dad! Thank you, Garcia. I owe everything to you. I'm going to do everything for you and give you everything you need."

"I'm so happy," she smiled before touching her stomach. "I didn't want to disappoint you. I'm going to do everything to make sure this pregnancy goes to plan. I know I have to be monitored carefully. I did about three tests just to make sure. This is your miracle, Reid. Should we tell the team? They know we are doing this today."

"We'll tell them," Reid nodded. "I want them to keep an eye on you through all this. Garcia, thank you for doing this. You'll always be part of his or her life and when they are old enough, I'll happily tell them that you brought them into this world. I know this isn't easy on you."

"Reid, when they are old enough, they can know and if they want me to still be in their lives, I will be. Till then, I'm happy being the fun, loving aunt who gives them too many birthday and christmas presents. This isn't hard on me. I wanted you to know who the donor was and to be around the surrogate. I'm doing this for you because I love you and I never want to lose you again. I want you to have a wonderful life. I know you will have a wonderful life being a father. He or she will always be apart of me but it'll be a part that I'm sharing with you. You'll be a great dad."

"I'll give them everything," he said before letting out a small giggle. "I thought that Lincoln had taken everything but I did manage to hold on to something. For the next nine months, I am yours to command, Garcia."

* * *

Reid couldn't stop smiling as he drove to Rossi's house. The team had gathered for a small evening in together. He pulled in to the driveway and turned off the car. He rushed out of the car and opened Garcia's door for her. She let out a small laugh. "Will this be what happens for the next nine months?"

"Absolutely," he smiled at her. She ruffled his hair and followed him inside.

"Stop smiling," she said. "You'll give away the good news."

He took a deep breath and took the smile off his face. Both their faces remained neutral. They knocked on the door and were let in by JJ. "Hey, you two. Come in, we're just getting all the food ready." They came in and found every one in the kitchen getting food ready. Morgan was the first to walk over and hug Garcia.

"Hey, baby girl."

"Hello, Morgan," she said.

Blake broke first. "How did it go?"

Garcia pretended to look sad, so did Reid.

"I'm so sorry," JJ said as she saw the look on their faces. "You could try again."

"You're sorry that I'm pregnant," Garcia grinned. "It worked, I'm pregnant!"

"I'm gonna be a dad," Reid said happily. Hotch immediately walked over and gave Reid a hug. He patted him on the back and gave him a big smile.

"Oh my god, this is an amazing moment," JJ smiled before hugging Garcia.

"Congratulations, Reid," Morgan said. "You deserve this. We kept tell you that you had a miracle coming. I better be named the Uncle."

* * *

**Seven months later**

Garcia sat at Morgan's desk with him, sipping a cup of herbal tea. She felt like a planet being seven months pregnant. She only drank herbal tea and Reid drank it too when he was around her. She didn't drink coffee and she didn't eat anything that could harm the baby. Reid constantly read baby books and always brought her food. During her major cravings period, he always brought her what she wanted in almost no time at all. She had regular scans and her health getting monitored carefully. She had eliminated salt from her diet after her blood pressure came back high. The team helped her at work and she loved that Reid had let her shop for all the baby clothes. He knew her love of shopping and he admitted he had no clue when it came to picking matching outfits. They had found out the sex of the baby.

A little girl.

Reid already had the nursery finished and it was full of pink. Garcia remembered how happy Reid had been at finding out he was getting a little girl. His new book was going to get its début release a few months after the baby was born. She had been the first to read it and loved the main character. She couldn't help but feel special at the fact Reid had based the character on her.

"Ooh," Garcia said suddenly putting her tea on the desk.

"What is it?" Morgan asked quickly.

"She's kicking. God, she has a strong kick."

"Can I feel?"

She grabbed Morgan's hand and placed it on her stomach. Morgan felt the baby kick. "Wow, she sure can kick."

"Try feeling it from the inside," Garcia laughed gently.

"Garcia, are you doing okay?" Morgan asked.

"Apart from getting some mean heart burn sometimes, I'm doing fine. The baby is fine and Reid is more excited than ever. Why?"

"Garcia, I think what you're doing is amazing. I just want to make sure that you're ready for the day you have to give her to Reid for him to raise. Half of her comes from you and one day, she'll want to know who her mother is."

"Half of her is also Reid. Morgan, I understand that the day she is born, I'll give her to Reid and she won't have any concept of who her mother is till she is old enough. I'm under no illusion that it won't be a little difficult not being a mother to her. Reid understands that too. He wants me in the baby's life and I will be. It's not like after the birth, I'll never see her again. I'll always be in her life but she is Reid's daughter and he will raise her to become amazing. I do love her and she is biologically my daughter but, she is my gift to Reid. I didn't want some stranger carrying his child for them to turn around and keep the baby. The day I give birth is the day he holds his miracle. I understand what comes with doing this, I always have known. He deserves happiness and he has it now. After all that pain that he went through, he's finally happy. He's barely thought about that year with that bastard since I got pregnant."

"I just needed to make sure," Morgan smiled. "You are glowing. Pregnancy suits you."

"I feel like a planet sometimes but it does feel wonderful. I do miss eating certain foods and doing a few other things but they are an easy trade. I don't want anything to possibly harm this baby. I got freaked out enough when they worried about my blood pressure. I can't wait for her to arrive and for Reid to see her."

* * *

Reid walked into his house and found Garcia watching a romantic movie with her feet up on the table with pillows beneath them. She was staying with him till the baby was born. He came in with his hands behind his back. He walked over and brought the flowers from behind his back. Garcia smiled as she reached out and took them into her hands. Every week, without fail, he brought her flowers.

"They're beautiful, Reid. How was your book signing today?"

"It was good, many are asking about the new book but I just keep telling them will have to wait. I've got two more and then I'm officially free until the new book launches. Even then, I'm not going to do many signings. I'll have a little girl demanding my attention. How are you? Any problems?"

"No, apart from being her kicking me. Your daughter has a mean kick."

"She doesn't get that from me," he laughed. "I can't kick a ball."

Garcia opened her bag next to her. She opened it and brought out a box. "Reid, can I ask you to do something?"

"Anything," he said.

She passed him the box. He opened it and pulled out a small baby mobile.

"I have one request, Reid. This is an old mobile that has been in my family for a very long time. It was even above my crib when I was a baby. I want her to have it above her crib. I hope it's okay."

"Garcia, I'll put it above her crib. It isn't a request, it's an honour."

"Thank you, Reid. It was originally made by my grandfather and my dad then added a motor and music to it. It's special and it belongs with her."

**Please review**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you like this chapter. This is just a nice chapter, Lincoln doesn't appear. He is in the next chapter where he'll meet his grisly end and yes, Reid will get in there with his brave on. Only about two chapters left on this now. Ahh! I've decided to start my new one when this finishes, I'm trying to not have so much stress in my life and sometimes I panic when I have two fanfics on the go. Enjoy and please review. I love hearing from you all. Regarding the name, I don't think who she's named after, has ever had her name mentioned on the show.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews, you're amazing and absolutely the most lovely readers in the world. Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two weeks later**

Garcia put a pair of headphones over her stomach as she sat in the BAU room. Reid didn't want the baby hearing any thing bad about cases so he had brought her an IPOD and headphones with a label on them telling her to only have the headphones on for an hour at most. They were reviewing recent cases and having a general meeting. She refused to wheel back and get a file. Using a chair with wheels while eight months pregnant wasn't easy. Her focus was on the headphones.

"What is the baby listening to?" Blake asked.

"She's listening to Reid," Garcia smiled before passing the headphones over to Blake, who proceeded to put them close to her ears. Blake laughed as she listened. She passed back the headphones.

"What is Reid's voice doing on your IPOD?" JJ asked.

"He's reading her fairy tales," Garcia smiled. "He keeps reading all these books and recording the readings. He likes me playing them to the baby. She kicks like crazy when she hears his voice. I've got tonnes of other recordings from him on here. Reid can't wait for her arrival but he wants her to know who he is before she's born."

She put the headphones back on her stomach.

"He's ready for fatherhood," Rossi said. "I've never seen him this excited. Not long now. Has he picked a name?"

"Not yet," she said. "He hasn't chosen a name but he's ready for her arrival. The nursery is ready, he even let me do some more shopping for her. The supplies are fully stocked and he has his schedule for work all sorted out. God, I'm just so happy that it worked the first time. She's his little miracle."

"After every thing he went through, he deserved a miracle and the little one you're carrying is that miracle."

* * *

Reid walked into the nursery with the one item that he knew would make it complete. He walked in and placed the small music box on the shelf. It belonged to his mother and it was something that would stay in his family. He stroked the edge of the music box and closed his eyes. His little girl was arriving soon and he couldn't wait. He had always thought that the world was cruel to him. After his year with Lincoln, suffering through losing his innocence, being raped repeatedly and never living a day without pain, his view on the world darkened. Now, the world seemed a lot better. Standing in the nursery, he made a promise to himself that no-one would ever hurt his daughter. He would protect her and make sure that she had a good life.

When the time came, she would also know who her mother was. Hell, he didn't care if she found out before he was ready. Garcia would always be the mother of his child, even if it wasn't in the most conventional way. He knew his daughter would be smart. He couldn't wait to see her and he would never stop thanking Garcia for as long as he lived.

* * *

**Two weeks later**

Garcia sat at her computer desk and had the pain come again, she realised that she was actually in labour. She wasn't due for two more weeks. Clenching her fist to deal with the pain, she took a deep breath and waited for the pain to pass. Getting up, she made her way out of her office and came to the rails. "Morgan!"

"Yeah, baby girl," Morgan said still looking at his computer screen.

"Morgan, I'm having contractions, I'm in labour. We need to go to the hospital."

Morgan threw down his pen and raced up the stairs. He reached her and saw her taking nice, deep breaths to keep herself calm. "Are you sure?"

"I made sure, I'm having contractions about every eight minutes. We still have plenty of time, my water hasn't even broke but the doctor said we needed to get to hospital when I went into labour so they can monitor me carefully and deliver the baby safely."

"Garcia, are you alright?" Hotch called as he walked over.

"She's in labour," Morgan answered.

"I'll get the car," Hotch nodded. "I'll meet you outside. Do you have a hospital bag, Garcia?"

"Reid has it," she said. "You need to call him. As soon as you have that car out front, call him and tell him he gets to meet his daughter today."

* * *

Reid rushed through the corridors, barely keeping his balance as he dodged a nurse. He asked where Garcia was at the desk and quickly made his way to her room. He knocked on the door and came through it as he got called in. He put the bag down on the chair and walked over. He sat on the edge of the bed and smiled as Garcia looked up at him. "You're not due for two weeks."

"I guess she wants to hear you read to her in person," Garcia smiled. "I think you might have to pay to clean the SUV we came in."

"Why?" he asked.

"Her water broke in the car, all over the back seat," Morgan chuckled. "She is in labour but her contractions are still about seven minutes apart. They also have the baby on a monitor, the baby has a strong heart beat. Hotch is getting some coffee and I'm going to go and sit with him. This moment is for you two."

"Thank you," Reid said. "I'll come and get you as soon as she's ready to be seen."

"You better, kid."

Garcia let out a moan before clamping her mouth and clenching her fists. "OW!"

They waited until the contraction passed. Garcia leaned back and relaxed into the pillows. "Are you okay, Garcia?"

"I'm fine," Garcia breathed. "Contractions are not fun. It's nice hearing her heart though. Listen."

Reid listened to the monitor that kept track of the baby's heart beat. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard."

* * *

Garcia let out a small scream as she pushed, she had been in labour for ten hours and now was the moment. Reid held her hand and held her up as she let out another push, she let out another scream before the pressure disappeared. Reid supported her weight as she leaned against his arm. They watched the doctor for a moment and both let out tears of joy as they heard a small cry pierce the air. Garcia cried happily as the doctor put the baby on her chest. Reid and her stared at the little girl as she cried.

"She's a healthy baby girl. Congratulations," the doctor smiled. Reid looked at his daughter and immediately knew whose eyes she had. She had her mother's eyes.

"Oh, she's so beautiful," he smiled before wiping his tears. He came away for a moment to cut the cord before coming back and staring at his newborn daughter. He kissed Garcia's cheek. "Thank you! Thank you so much! She's perfect."

Garcia laughed happily. "She is perfect."

"We have to take her so we can clean her up and give her a quick check up. We'll bring her right back," a nurse smiled. Garcia looked at the baby and nodded.

"She's healthy though. You're going to bring her straight back."

"She's healthy and I promise we'll bring her right back to you."

* * *

Reid sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Garcia held the baby. They had cleaned the baby all up and she was now in an outfit that Garcia had picked out. Her eyes were brown but not like his, they were definitely Garcia's eyes. She weighed a healthy seven and a half pounds and had a small amount of brown hair on her head, more than a normal newborn.

"She has a wonderful future ahead of her," Garcia smiled as she looked at Reid. "You both do."

"We all do," he sighed happily. "She hasn't got a name yet."

"You'll think of one."

"I want you to name her, Garcia."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Garcia looked at the baby. "Could I name her Alice? After my mom. Her name was Alice."

"Alice, it is," he smiled before moving up and looking down at the baby. "Hello, my little Alice. The lovely woman holding you is your mother, I think she picked a perfect name. I just have one addition. Welcome to the world, Alice Maeve Reid."

"Oh, Reid," she smiled. "I love it."

She passed Alice to him and watched as Reid cradled the baby in his arms. "You're my little miracle. I'm going to make sure you have everything in the world."

"You're gonna be a great dad," Garcia grinned at him.

"You are always welcome to come and see her and you'll be the first I call for babysitting. You can be as active as you want when it comes to seeing her. I know it won't be easy on you and I just want you to know that you can see her night and day. You've given this wonderful gift of having her and you brought her into this world. When she is old enough and if you feel comfortable, she'll know you brought her into the world."

"If she has your brains, she'll figure it out on her own probably," she giggled before stroking a small amount of hair on Alice's head. "I want to stay in her life and be a positive influence. One day, when she wants to know, I'm happy for you to tell her. I'll happily babysit her and I won't lie, it's going to be strange. She's your daughter and she is mine too but she's my gift to you. I carried her and donated my egg because I wanted you to always be connected with us and I wanted to do this wonderful thing for you. I know you're going to raise her to act and be a smart and kind woman. Just promise me that when she's old enough, I get to introduce her to the weird and wonderful things of the world. The Garcia view of the world."

"Absolutely," Reid laughed. "I think it might be good if you're her personal shopper. I don't think I could take embarrassing her when she starts nursery and school."

"That is a job, I gladly accept."

* * *

**A few days later**

Reid walked around with Alice in his arms, Garcia was staying with him for a few more days before moving back home. She thought it would be better for her to get used to living on her own again. She was sleeping. He looked down at Alice and couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her. She was beautiful and he never wanted to let her go. She closed her eyes and began to sleep peacefully. He put her in the bassinet next to his bed. He double checked she was safe enough before stroking her head. "You're going to have a wonderful life and I'll be there every step of the way. I love you, Alice. I love you so much. Sweet dreams, baby girl."

He laid down in his bed. He knew the nursery was ready but he wasn't quite ready for her to be far away. He laid in bed and fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Please review**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Concerning the length, I admit that I got carried away writing it but I just had so much I wanted to put in this chapter. I hope the length doesn't put you off reviewing. The next chapter is the last chapter for this and then on Sunday, I'm starting my AU Criminal minds fic. I also am so tempted to start another one as well which would focus on Reid developing telekinesis and using it at work, but of course, he'd run into trouble. I don't know yet. I'll see how I feel. Is it me or have there not been any really good Reid episodes yet in the new season? Any way, enjoy this chapter and I'd love to know what you think. Enjoy!  
**

**Thank you for the reviews, you're wonderful and great! Thank you!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two months later**

Reid pushed the pram out of the elevator and made his way to Garcia's office. He knocked on the door. "Come in," her voice called. He opened the door and pushed the pram in. Garcia immediately got up from her chair and came over. "There are my wonders."

She looked in the pram and saw Alice staring at her. She leaned in and brought her into her arms. She cradled her in her arms and kissed the top of her head. "Hi, Alice. I like what your daddy put you in. A personal favourite. You get bigger and prettier every time I see you."

She looked to Reid. "How are you both doing?"

"We're doing good. She had a check up and she's right on track. Look," he said pointing to Alice's face. Garcia looked down and saw Alice smiling at her. She smiled back and laughed. "See, she loves you. I think, deep down, she knows you're her mom. That is the biggest smile yet."

"It's a beautiful smile. I'd like to think that she knows but we have a while till the day comes for us to tell her. For now, I'm her favourite aunty. You look so good, Reid. I've never seen you looking so vibrant and happy. I thought I would see bags under your eyes."

"She's waking up about twice a night but once I've taken care of her, she just goes straight off to sleep. I'm used to not having sleep and even with her waking up, I'm getting plenty of sleep. I can't watch star trek when she's with me."

"Why?" Garcia asked.

"She cries at the theme tune. The moment she hears it, she starts crying. I don't think she likes the sound."

Garcia let out a small chuckle before tickling Alice's feet. "Trust me, Alice. When you're older, I'll make sure you know good music."

An alarm sounded from the computer. Garcia passed Alice back to Reid and quickly took care of the computer. Reid placed Alice back in the pram and made sure she was warm enough. He put her pacifier in her mouth before looking back at Garcia. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "The team has a meeting in five minutes and so do I. We're just sorting out past cases and going through some new rules."

"I'll head home then," Reid said. "I just wanted to bring her by to see you."

"Now, wait a minute," she said putting her hands on her hips. "You have to let the others see her. Come on, we're meeting in the BAU room."

Garcia picked up some files. Reid backed the pram out of the room and waited for Garcia. She closed her door and they began to walk to the BAU room. He walked in to find Hotch and Rossi already there. "You two always like to be the early ones," Reid smiled.

Hotch and Rossi both got up and walked over. They looked into the pram to see Alice awake and moving.

"Can I hold her?" Rossi asked.

"Of course," Reid said.

Rossi reached in and picked up Alice. "Look at you, you're just pretty in pink, aren't you?"

"Thank god for Garcia and her shopping skills," Reid laughed gently.

Morgan, JJ and Blake walked in to see everyone. JJ came over with Blake and smiled at the baby. "Hi, Alice," JJ grinned before stroking Alice's hand. Alice gently gripped JJ's finger.

"Reid, do you mind?" Morgan asked as he pointed to Alice. Reid nodded knowing that Morgan wanted to hold Alice. The baby let go of JJ's finger and Rossi carefully passed her to Morgan.

Morgan smiled at the baby. "Hey, my baby girl."

Alice cooed and gave a small smile at Morgan as she continued to stare at him. Garcia let out a small giggle. "I guess she has a favourite Uncle."

* * *

Reid tossed and turned in his bed.

_He couldn't move, he sat in the rocking chair in Alice's nursery. He remembered this feeling. It felt like he'd been drugged. He panicked as he heard footsteps outside, Alice began to cry in her crib. His eyes widened as he watched Lincoln walk into the room and over to the crib. Reid wanted to move but he couldn't move at all. "No," he managed to squeak._

_Lincoln leaned down and brought baby Alice into his arms. Reid felt tears run down her cheeks._

_"Oh, look's like my whore had a baby. I'm going to raise her fine. You don't deserve to raise her. Whores can't raise children."_

_Reid watched as Lincoln began to walk out of the room. Alice's cry got quieter and quieter as Lincoln walked away._

Reid jolted up from his bed and looked next to him to see the baby monitor, he heard Alice crying from the nursery. He threw the covers off and raced to the nursery. He walked in and immediately picked her up. He held her close and began to rock her gently. "It's okay, daddy is here. Shhh."

* * *

Reid opened the door and smiled as he saw Garcia there, still in her pyjamas. She came forward and hugged him. Coming away, she looked at him. "Reid, what's wrong? You sounded so scared on the phone and you look terrified. Is Alice okay?"

"She's sleeping after I gave her a night feed," he said before closing the door and walking into the living room. Garcia walked in and found Alice sleeping in the bassinet. She tucked the blanket in a little further before sitting across from Reid.

"Reid, what's wrong?"

"I had a nightmare," he sighed. "It was about Lincoln. He came into the nursery, he picked up Alice and told me that he was going to raise her because whores can't raise children. He said I didn't deserve her. I stayed paralyzed in the rocking chair. I couldn't stop him. I know he doesn't know about her but I can't get back to sleep. I can raise her, Garcia. I'm not a whore and I can raise her."

Garcia walked over and looked at him. "You're not a whore, you've never been a whore. He's in a secure cell and every movement he makes gets monitored. Of course you can raise her, you're her father and you love her with all your heart. It was just a nightmare. Sweetie, he dies in a week. It's a confirmed execution date. I think that's why you had the nightmare. You know it's all ending soon and I know what you're like. You panic and think that something is around the corner to take away your happiness. There isn't though. Are you going to the execution next week?"

"I am," Reid said before brushing his hands through his hair. "I'm also speaking to him before he goes in."

"Reid, no," she shook her head. "Morgan told me what it was like for you when he made you visit him. You don't have to see him."

"I do," Reid shook his head. "I want to show him that I recovered from what he did to me. I'm going to make sure he knows that I don't think of him as a monster any more. He's just a sick and twisted man who used me to fulfill his sick desires. I got my life back and I love my life now. I have a daughter, a wonderful little girl that you gave to me, Garcia. I want to look him in the face and smile at the fact he's now the prisoner and I'm now the one in control."

"Just remember to stay strong," Garcia said as she touched his cheek. "I'll take care of Alice when you're in Florida. If that's okay."

"Stop asking if it's okay," he shook his head with a smile. "She's your biological daughter too and you are welcome night and day to see her. I know you'll take care of her. Don't ever think you have to ask to see or look after her."

"It's a habit," she shrugged back.

* * *

**One week later**

Reid walked into the private room to see Lincoln on the other side of the reinforced glass. Lincoln had eaten his last meal and his execution was only hours away. He stayed on his feet and he stood in front of the glass. "Hello, Lincoln."

"Lincoln?" he laughed from the other side. "I thought I was the monster to you. I thought my name made you gag every time you tried to say it."

"It did," Reid said strongly. "That was until I stopped being scared of you."

"I can see it in your eyes, Spencer. You're scared."

"I'm not scared, I'm just away from my daughter from the first time. Those first time away worries are what you see."

Lincoln's smile came off his face. "What are you talking about? You don't have a daughter and no woman would fuck you after what I did to you. You're damaged goods. No place would let you adopt either. Stop lying, Spencer. You know what lying gets you."

"I'm not lying," Spencer said before laughing. "Staring at you now, in your little orange prison outfit, I don't know how I was ever afraid of you. I once imagined you as a monster but then I realised that a monster, wouldn't have such small equipment. Is that why you were so angry in your marriage? You didn't have the goods."

"SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Lincoln shouted before tugging at the handcuffs.

"Don't like me talking about your equipment," Reid laughed gently. "You thought you took everything from me but you didn't. I got a life now. I've got a brilliant life! I don't even think about the times you raped me. All I think about is my beautiful daughter. You didn't take away my ability to have a child. You thought you did but I managed to get past what you did. I don't have a wife or girlfriend but I have a wonderful friend who gave me my daughter. You wanted to ruin my life but you didn't and I can stand here and look you in the eye because I don't fear you. I'm going to live my life while today, is the last of your pathetic life. I survived what you did, I even survived that night in the back of that car."

Reid brought out a picture of his daughter and put it against the glass. The picture was of him and Alice, her dressed in a pink onesie and him, smiling and happy. Lincoln stared at the picture. "Every day, I live for her. I'm going to raise her in a world of good and trust me, after today the world will get better with you roasting in that chair. You lost Lincoln. I'm not scared of you or that small thing between your legs. You thought I would come here and still be a shell. I'm not a shell full of fear. I'm a man full of joy at the life I've built for myself."

Lincoln began to tug violently at his chains. "I'll always be in that pathetic mind, Spencer. In the back of your mind, you'll always remember me fucking you till you screamed."

"All I'll ever remember is a perverted bastard who had to rape people to get off. Enjoy the last few hours of your life. I'm going to enjoy the rest of mine. I pity your ex-wife. She's lucky she got away from you when she did and I feel sorry for your son for having you as a father. Thank god, he won't turn out like you. From experience, sons don't always turn out like their fathers. Goodbye, Lincoln. I'll enjoy watching you fry in that chair."

Reid walked away and ignored Lincoln screaming at him. He closed the door to see Hotch and Morgan waiting for him. "I need some air. That felt good though. He was always a small dicked bastard and he deserves to die."

* * *

Reid watched as Lincoln got strapped to the chair. He stared at Lincoln and then he looked to the chairs to see Timothy, the one man who had escaped being killed by Lincoln. He looked organised and better from the last time he had seem him. He remembered yelling at Timothy to leave the hospital room a long time ago. He looked back and watched as Lincoln got asked if he had any last words.

"You always kept me warm, Spencer. You and that tight ass of yours. You didn't win. I'll always be your first."

Reid just smiled at the man and shrugged. He crossed his arms and watched as they began proceedings for the execution. He watched as the executioner went to the switch. He took one last look into Lincoln's eyes and knew that the horrors were truly over as the switch came down. Lincoln began to twitch violently from the high voltage shock, it lasted twenty seconds. The switch got turned off and Lincoln slumped in the chair. They had to wait for a long time, about fifteen minutes before Lincoln's vitals were finally taken. It was to make sure he was truly dead. When they confirmed his death, Reid felt a weight fall from his shoulders. Lincoln Peters, once called the monster, was finally dead.

* * *

Standing in the car park, he enjoyed the fresh air as he leaned against the car. Hotch and Morgan were waiting in the car. Reid stood up straight and walked towards the entrance when he saw Timothy come out. "Timothy!" he called.

Timothy looked at him with wide eyes. He watched Timothy nod to his parents before walking over. "Hello," he said timidly. "You look very well, Spencer. I'm glad things are finally over."

"How are you doing?" Reid asked.

"I'm back at college. I'm twenty-two now. I'm studying psychology. Look, Spencer, I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I've never stopped thinking about the horrible thing I did to you. I just didn't want to die. I've felt guilty every day since then."

"Timothy, I've never ever blamed you for what happened. He forced six other men on me during the time I was held captive by him and I've never forgotten them and I've never blamed them. I'm just happy that you never went through what he did to me. I'm happy that you survived, I don't think I could have watched you die. Look, I feel bad for how I treated you all that time ago. You didn't deserve me shouting at you."

"I deserved it," Timothy shook his head. "You were traumatized by what he did to you. I demanded forgiveness when I didn't deserve it."

"He's dead and that is all that matters," Reid smiled gently. "I've always forgiven you for what happened and I've got past what he did to me. I have a good life now and I'm not afraid of my past. I'd like to talk to you more. First though, a proper introduction, not one with me shouting." He held out his hand. "I'm Dr Spencer Reid."

Timothy took Reid's hand and shook it. "Timothy Farrow. I can talk now if you want to get a drink. Preferably something with a bit of alcohol in it."

"I can talk but I'll have to stay away from the alcohol. Let me just go and tell me friends. You tell your parents and then we'll go."

"Spencer, thank you, for everything. I was at the trial when they read out your letter. Trust me, that letter put him away. Thank you for also never thinking of me as a monster."

"You've never been a monster. He was a monster. He's gone and we can move on now."

* * *

**Two days later**

Reid sat in front of the television, he looked down at Alice, who had fallen asleep against his chest. He picked up his tv remote and went through the channels till he found an episode of Star Trek starting. He turned it over and watched as the opening credits began to play with the opening theme music. He looked down and saw Alice scrunched her face and begin to cry. He quickly turned it over to another channel and she settled back down.

"You win, Alice," he chuckled.

**Please review**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone, here is the LAST chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I can't believe this is the last chapter. I've really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like this last chapter. I also hope that you've enjoyed this entire fic even though it has been much darker than usual. I just want to say a big thank you for all your support and I'll have a new fic up tomorrow. I'm going to wait on doing a telekinesis Reid one. I recently had a message asking for a fic where Reid is in an abusive relationship. I'm going to start that next week too. I love writing too much just to only do one fic at a time. Any way, enjoy my angels and thank you so much for reading this and reviewing.  
**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, you're the best and I can't ever stop thanking you. Thank you! x a million**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid placed the presents in his bag before walking back into the living room and picking Alice up from her small baby rocker. She cooed happily as he brought her against his chest. "Are you ready for Spencer's birthday party? He's going to love the present you got him and they are going to love your outfit. Your mommy picked it out the other day."

He walked over to the pram and placed her inside it. He made sure she was comfortable and warm before putting her pacifier in her mouth. He looked at her and couldn't help the large grin on his face.

"Alice, when you're old enough, I hope you understand the way you got brought into the world. Garcia is your mother and the moment you ask, I'll tell you she is. I'll never lie to you. Your mother gave me the best gift in the world and that was the gift of being a father. You have no idea how much I love you and how happy I am that I was able to have you. There is one thing that I'll never tell you and that is what happened to me. I want to surround you with nothing but good. In a week, hopefully, your grandmother's health will be good enough for us to go and see her. She's not very well but she loves you too. I didn't have a great childhood but that all changed when I met the others, when I met our family. I'm going to make sure you never go through my childhood. I'll never leave you and I'll always love you."

* * *

"Uncle Spencer!" Henry called before coming over. He had arrived at the party. "Hey, Uncle Spencer."

"Hey, Henry. I know it's your brother's birthday but I got you a present too. Don't let your mom and dad see it till the end of the day though," Reid smiled before bringing out a small wrapped present. Henry quickly opened the present to find a new video game.

"This is the one that I've wanted," Henry said happily before hugging Reid. "You're the best Uncle ever. Is Alice okay?"

Reid reached in the pram and kneeled on one knee so Henry could see her. "She's fine and that game is also from her. I held up two games and she cooed at that one."

"Thanks, Alice," Henry smiled before kissing the top of her head. "You're the best."

Reid stood back up and put Alice in the pram. "How does it feel to have a little brother turning two?"

"He's sometimes the biggest dummy but he's my little brother. I love my little brother, even if he does throw food at me."

"You were the same, you know. I remember babysitting you with Penelope. You threw yogurt all in my hair."

"Really! I'm sorry, Uncle Spence."

"Don't be," Reid laughed. "I'm sure Alice will do the same to me when she's a little older. I think you better hide that game before your mom and dad see it. Show them after the party."

"Thanks again," Henry smiled. "I'll put it in my room."

Reid watched as Henry walked into the house. He pushed the pram over to the table full of gifts and put little Spencer's gift on there. He walked over to the rest of the group and saw chocolate frosting already around his godson's mouth. JJ noticed him looking.

"Will gave him a cupcake a little early," she laughed gently.

"You're such a messy boy," Garcia giggled as she went about wiping the chocolate from the two-year old's face. Hotch and Rossi were both talking while Blake helped bring the last bits of food out. Jack was at his grandparent's house.

"Re-Re!" Spencer giggled before pointing at Reid. Garcia finished cleaning him up. Reid walked forward and swooped the two-year old into his arms.

"Happy birthday! I can't believe you're two already."

"I, two!" he giggled. "Cake, me want cake."

"Cake is coming soon," JJ said. Alice began to cry in her pram.

"I got it," Morgan said as he walked over and picked Alice up. He held her against his chest and gently moved side to side to calm her. Alice immediately calmed down and began to coo happily as she moved about in Morgan's arms. "There you go."

Reid put Spencer back in his chair and ruffled his hair. Spencer let out a small giggle before pointing to his sippy cup. "JUICE! Juice! Juice!"

Reid picked it up his juice and passed it to him. "There you go."

Will walked out of the kitchen with a cake in his hands. Henry came back into the garden and stood next to his little brother. The cake got put on the table and Will lit the candles.

They call began to sing. "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Spencer. Happy birthday to you!"

Little Spencer took a deep breathe in and blew out the candles.

"Well done!" Blake clapped with everyone. Little Spencer began to laugh and clap his hands happily.

* * *

Reid stood in the kitchen, drinking his coffee. He couldn't help but feel like this. Lincoln was dead but the date today held both a good memory and a bad memory. The day that little Spencer was born had been the day that Lincoln had raped him for the last time. The other times were easier to forget but that night was harder.

_"STOP! STOP! OH GOD, STOP!"_

A shattering sound brought him back to reality. Morgan came in. Reid looked to him and then to the floor to find his coffee out of his hand and broken on the floor. He picked up a towel and quickly began cleaning it. Morgan closed the door. "Reid, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

"I know that look you had on your face. Did you flashback?"

"I didn't mean to. Today holds both good memories and bad memories."

"What do you mean?"

"You arrested Lincoln the night Spencer was born, remember? That was the last time he ever raped me. It's harder to forget than the other times. I never stopped screaming and I was so scared. That last time, it's burned into my head. I'm fine. I know he's dead and that he can't hurt me any more. It's just sometimes things leak through. It never happens around Alice."

"I'm sorry that today brings that memory back. It's okay though. He can't hurt you."

"I know that. God, I've known that since he died in the chair. Let's get back to the party. The past is the past, I can't change it and I'd rather forget it."

Morgan patted him on the back and helped him clean up the mess. They walked back into the garden to see Alice in Hotch's arms and baby throw up on Rossi's shoulder. "I told them to use a burping cloth," Reid shook his head.

* * *

**A few days later**

Reid made his way to Garcia's apartment with Alice in the pram, he was spending the night with her after they had arranged a movie night. He came to her door and knocked. She opened it and smiled. "Hey, baby boy."

He walked in. "Hey, Garcia. Something smells nice."

"I'm just cooking our dinner," Garcia said before looking inside the pram. "There is my baby girl."

She picked her up and kissed her on the nose. Alice cooed before letting out a small babyish laugh. Reid opened his mouth. "Oh my god! That's her first laugh."

"Really?" Garcia smiled as she held Alice in her arms. "It's a beautiful sound."

* * *

Garcia and Reid both looked down at Alice as she slept in the small cot that Garcia had set up for the night. Reid quickly went into his bag and brought out something. He hooked the baby mobile above the cot. He turned on the music. "She loves having the mobile on. She's so beautiful when she sleeps."

"She looks like you, Reid. Her hair is the same colour as yours and she definitely has your nose."

"Her eyes are wonderful," Reid said. "They are identical to yours. Just perfect."

Garcia couldn't help the small smile on her face. "Let's leave her to sleep."

Reid turned on the monitor he had brought over and left with Garcia. They sat in the front of the television and put on the movie. Garcia filled up the wine glasses with soda. They didn't drink with the baby around. They clinked their glasses together. "To drinking soda and to wonderful times," Garcia giggled.

They tapped their glasses together. "To wonderful times," Reid laughed.

They took a sip of their drinks.

"Reid, you've come so far and I'm so proud of everything you've achieved. I'm so glad we got you back," she said leaning against him. "We would have stayed lost without you coming back."

"I can't believe how far I've come. I think that if you and the team had not found me, Lincoln would have killed me. He used to have a temper. Garcia, thank you for everything. You gave me a beautiful little girl and you helped me through some bad times. Everyone did. It's wonderful having my life back but this time, my life is a lot better. I'm stronger, I have a wonderful career and I have a wonderful little girl who I love."

Reid put his arm around Garcia and pulled her close. "You all brought me home."

"Home didn't feel the same without you," Garcia said before she leaned against him. Reid began to watch the movie and felt his body relax and his mind and heart succumb to the pure happiness he felt.

**_The end_**

**Please review and I hope you like the ending**


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